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Author Topic: Quis  (Read 17668 times)

VoxClamantis

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Quis
« on: July 28, 2011, 06:56:am »
This post will only make sense to those who have been around the FishEaters forum for the past few months. All others, please move on and don't ask about it...



In spite of my COMPLETE lack of desire to bring "the nightmare" up again, there are a few things I feel the need to say about the whole "L'Affaire Laura" and the demise of "Quis et Vox."



1)  First, I assure you that Quis is most definitely not Laura, Ty, MoreCoffee, or anyone else other than Quis (er, except for the time he sorta hijacked my account and posted -- not "as" me, but "just" using my account). There is a Quis, there is a Vox, and there is some broad out there posing as Ty, Sarah, MoreCoffee, and the good Lord knows who else. I do not believe for one minute that this poseur-person is suffering from MPD, schizophrenia, or anything else than a case of drama-lust and lust for something else, namely Quis. This is my opinion for reasons I won't go into, but that is my opinion. Check out her Facebook page.



2)  Quis was not in ANY way complicit in concocting anything with this Laura creature. Quis is not a "game-player," at least not in that sense. It is my absolute conviction that Quis was totally duped, just as many others were here, including me. I didn't spend a whole lot of time at the forum during the whole sordid interlude, but Quis did, as he was working very hard -- as he did for four years -- moderating this forum (something he did for love of the place and, at the time, for me, and for which I truly thank him). Quis met this Laura person and believed her. He told me about her and I believed him. When she "died," we both cried. I put up the "In Memoriam" sign, Quis offered Rosaries for her, I prayed for her, etc. Others here were very touched by her "conversion story" (what a beautiful story it was, too) as we both were. "Ty," being Laura's "friend," was in our prayers and thoughts, and Quis, believing Ty was a real person -- i.e., someone with his own birth certificate, shall we say -- befriended "him." He had spoken to both "Laura" and "Ty" on the phone [SEE FOOTNOTE!.] , not knowing they were one and the same. Some have expressed disbelief about this, but I'm an alto who's sometimes mistaken for a man on the phone (I'm always so embarrassed for the person making the mistake!) and who can also raise my pitch and do a pretty good LouAnn Puvey. I can also do a pretty good Jackee. And James Mason, too. OK, so James Mason is off my radar, but my point remains: I can do some pretty good voices -- accents even -- and it's not hard or tricky at all. I've even called my own father, back in the day, posing as one of his clients as a joke. He'd fall for it. And I'm his own daughter (at least that's what my Mom always said. Ha.) 



What I am saying is that Quis truly did believe that "Laura" and "Ty" and "Sarah," et al (have I left anyone out?) were different people. I believe that to the depths of my soul. Quis can get facts wrong (And how! Just ask him about our marriage sometime! <rim shot>), and he uses many words and phrases in ways that most people don't -- something that has led to quite a few lovely arguments -- but he is an honest person underneath his misperceptions and misrememberings. That is, he might be very (very!) wrong about a lot of things (and right about a lot of things), but he is not a liar. He simply isn't. In fact, he is one of the most honest people I know. I hate having to say that because of some very nasty things he has said about me (all untrue or half-truths), but those are things he truly DOES believe about me. No one else who knows me believes those things about me (including my former "civil husband" of 25 years), but Quis does. And when he says those things, he believes them. Just as he believed that "Laura," "Ty," "The Professor," and "Mary Ann" were all separate people.  I know that many of you don't know me from Adam, but many of you have known me for years, both in real life and in chat and on the forum: trust me on this. Quis isn't a "liar."  I am not sure about Catholic teaching on swearing before God if it is not done "in vain," but if it were licit, I would swear to Christ Jesus that Quis is not Laura, etc., and that Quis is honest but very wrong about many things. I did not civilly marry a subjectively evil man. I did not marry someone who would consciously will evil. Well, not any more than other good and fallible humans. He isn't a Saint. But he is honest and good-willed.



3)  Quis is a person who is an INFP, someone driven by the desire to do the heroic, to heal to nurture. It is this very quality that made me fall in love with him. And it is the very quality that is leading him -- or has led him, whatever the case may be -- to be what I consider foolish with regard to "Laura." It is what has made him be overly-protective, overly-attached, so desiring to help her, etc. That characteristic of his is a good one. It's too bad that it is tempered by the problems he has with language, a desire to be understood that is so extreme that he can do some crazy things, like ban people out of anger, shut down forums, hold chat room sessions (where I understood he used the word "cruel" in an interesting manner) to explain himself, etc. But his desire to be the White Knight and his desire to be understood are good things. And they are things that can be taken advantage of, which is what I believe "Laura" is doing. Quis had been my own White Knight, but when things went bad for us and he started being otherwise, Laura comes along. And that is what I believe his attachment to her consists of.



I am sorry that so many people were hurt by being banned because of how he acted on those desires, and I am very angry about things he has said about me, and the disparate ways he treated me and "Laura" -- with me as bad, and the pathological liar as good.  I think the unwillingness to let people ask honest questions about this "Laura" was extremely misguided. But it wasn't born out of some complicity in her lies; it was born out of a desire to protect the *((^**^&*%. I believe this because I know him. I became no longer his "Sun and Moon and Stars," as he called me when he liked me, so he took that drive of his -- that drive to do the heroic and to help -- and put it on her. I'd written that he was "in love" with her, and I put those words in quotes. I did so for a reason (he sees it as my having "thrown him under a bus," however):  I do not believe that his drive is one based on lust or sex or something sordid. I really don't. I think it was exactly what I said it was above. I am very, VERY angry that this lying woman is taking -- or took -- advantage of this drive of his, and am very jealous that he uses that drive on her and not on me, his wife. But he is angry at me. He's angry for reasons I won't go into in any great detail, but I will say that they are reasons that to most people would be way, way, way overblown. I hurt his feelings (and, brother, did he hurt mine) over a few things, I apologized, and he couldn't get over the pain of it. He just "can't." The things he was hurt over would be things most people wouldn't even be too bothered by, or bothered by for long, but for Quis, they were huge. It's just the way he is and there is nothing I can do about it. He was also hurt, as most men would be, by the fact that his wife wasn't happy. I loved him, but I was made miserable by many circumstances. He couldn't handle it. He couldn't be the hero for me because the circumstances were ones that he "put" me in -- not in a nefarious way, but just because of the circumstances of his life. My talking to him of my problems then were seen as my attacking HIM. Many men are like that, I think. But with Quis, everything is big and dramatic. Intense. And me, I'm Italian, too, and am intense enough on my own -- very emotional, and sarcastic when angry. And defensive, too. And that's all I am going to say about our marriage in itself. The point of all this is to say that Quis is a good person with good motives and an honesty about him, but one who is also very intense, who can act somewhat irrationally in fulfilling his desire to be the White Knight, and who sees things and uses langage in ways that most others don't. He has a very unique "flow chart" in his engineer's brain about how to judge things, and has a rather "Aspergersey" way of relating to others (I mean no offense to those with Aspergers; I simply mean that, though he is not "Aspie,"  he isn't totally "neurotypical"). I get all this about him because I know him. He can make me angry to NO end because of those latter qualities, and I wish he would see someone wise about them. But I still remember the former qualities. And, in spite of my profound anger at him right now, I miss them.



I write all this to ask everyone to not gossip about Quis or to think ill of his motives. He doesn't deserve it. He might deserve some righteous anger at how he handled the "Laura" thing on this forum, and he might deserve the same for banning people out of anger or a misguided sense of loyalty to "her." I am most certainly angry over his making our private life public and how his use of language in describing things can make me look really bad. I'm mad -- and a little embarrassed -- about the Great Day of the Losing Of The Cool -- the forum shut-downs, the mutual bans (I started that last bit)  -- but he doesn't deserve to be seen as deceptive, dishonest, conniving, or anything remotely close to it. That just isn't him.

And, "Laura," if you're reading this, go seek Christ. Elsewhere. Far, far from here. Reallllly far. And don't mess with me.


P.S. I am modifying this post to remind everyone that Quis did work his butt off on this forum for four years. He set up the software. He paid for it. He moderated. Remember all of that when you think of him. If it weren't for Quis, there wouldn't have been a forum like this...


FOOTNOTE: Edited to say that I may have misspoken here. I actually do not know if Quis has spoken to both "Ty" and "Laura" on the phone. I'd seen others asking the question, "How could he have spoken to 'both' and not known they were the same person, the same sex?" Because of those questions, I'd assumed Quis had said he'd spoken to both. That may not be true. I have no idea.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2011, 12:20:pm by VoxClamantis »

VoxClamantis

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Re: Quis
« Reply #1 on: July 28, 2011, 09:33:am »
P.S. to Laura:  You weren't engaged to my husband. He's, um, married:  http://www.christianmemorials.com/memorials/show.asp?id=17279 (click link to see the larger picture)



The_Harlequin_King

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Re: Quis
« Reply #2 on: July 28, 2011, 09:41:am »
Thanks for the clarifications!

And regarding the fake obit...... daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, son.
Please read and subscribe to my blog: Modern Medievalism. Applying old-world solutions to new-world problems.

Walty

Re: Quis
« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2011, 09:58:am »
Thanks for the clarifications!

And regarding the fake obit...... daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn, son.

Dude, seriously.  Just bizarre.
Quote from: Rev. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange O.P.
The Church is intolerant in principle because she believes;
she is tolerant in practice because she loves.
The enemies of the Church are tolerant in principle because they do not believe;
 they are intolerant in practice because they do not love.

Timorem Domini docebo vos.

wallflower

Re: Quis
« Reply #4 on: July 28, 2011, 10:06:am »
Thank you for this post. Besides the marriage stuff, of which we really know nothing, it's really good to see your defense of Quis' good qualities.


Someone1776

Re: Quis
« Reply #5 on: July 28, 2011, 10:06:am »
I am confused with the obituary. I thought Laura "died" in April not July?
"Christianity lies in achieving greatness in the face of the world's hatred." - Saint Ignatius of Antioch

Pheo

Re: Quis
« Reply #6 on: July 28, 2011, 10:08:am »
Wow...just wow.

Vox, you seemed to have the patience of Job in that post.  Especially knowing some of the things you know (read: creepy fake obituary).
Forced to leave for refusing to lie - well played.

wallflower

Re: Quis
« Reply #7 on: July 28, 2011, 10:09:am »
I am confused with the obituary. I thought Laura "died" in April not July?

This is Sarah's obit, the "second roommate".

Pheo

Re: Quis
« Reply #8 on: July 28, 2011, 10:09:am »
I am confused with the obituary. I thought Laura "died" in April not July?

No that's for Sarah-Laura, not Laura-Laura.  That "personality" died not too long ago.
Forced to leave for refusing to lie - well played.

Someone1776

Re: Quis
« Reply #9 on: July 28, 2011, 10:15:am »
I am confused with the obituary. I thought Laura "died" in April not July?

No that's for Sarah-Laura, not Laura-Laura.  That "personality" died not too long ago.

Wow, this is harder to keep up with than Lost! 
"Christianity lies in achieving greatness in the face of the world's hatred." - Saint Ignatius of Antioch


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