FishEaters Traditional Catholic Forums

Full Version: what women want/what men want
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
I have read many threads written by men, and so have opted to put this as a new topic welcoming comments, complaints, ridicule, praise, and debate

Ok for all you single males on this thread, I am going to give you all a piece of my mind and hope that it has some effect on your dating ways and thinking about women.

I will put all this through as a Traditional Catholic female of child-bearing age in Toronto, Ontario Canada.

I have never been married. I have no children from a previous marriage. I have no diseases, illnesses, malformations, birth defects, curses, or the like which some would say that I must have to have all that I have included above and NOT be married. Not to mention that I have received all the necessary sacraments, my family had corresponded for years with Padre Pio when he was still alive and were put in his prayers both at Mass and when he passed on, and that I was fortunate enough to be confirmed by Archbishop Lefrevbre when the living saint was alive, so baring all this in mind, this is perhaps why I am single, as perhaps I am to give my life back to God for all He has given to me.

This being said, it is possible that I haven't found the right man, and that somewhere he exists also looking for me. However, on threads such as this that I found here, I am truly surprised at what most men on here want for a future wife.

First of all, I have had boyfriends and men be attracted to me. I still do and I get mistaken for being anywhere from my mid-20s to late 20's and I am not ashamed to say that I am 32. I am 5'3", average to medium build, and I am described by others as being, "pretty, attractive, beautiful large hazel eyes, full lips, heart-shaped face, measurements of 38-26-38, wears a size 10-12 in US sized clothes, med to long straight dark brown hair with a natural wave and odd curl to it, and exotic-looking due to my Portuguese, British, Scottish, and Indian culture mix, that I often get asked if I am Mediterranean from Italy or Spain, Middle Eastern, or from another exotic country"

This being said, I have a Honours BA in English, I am a Canadian citizen by birth, I have a post-graduate diploma to teach English and French to secondary high school students which is recognized around the world, and I have travelled and taught in 3 different countries (Australia, South Korea, and UK) and have travelled to other countries to live and visit over the past 10 years.

Men and women differ greatly as to what we both want in a relationship.
I will tell you its NOT what men think it is that we want. We don't want a lapdog, or someone who thinks they need to say yes and please us on every thing. Sooner or later, this pleasing attitude will snap, and the real you will come out, and this will be the most heart-breaking, as we might not have grown to love the real you, but the pleasing, not-real you. Know what your limitations are, set your own boundaries, love yourself, and take care of yourself first before you can love or take care of another. Simply said, we want someone who can provide for us, take care of us, be a breadwinner and a breadearner, and be a companion as well as a lover. Someone who will walk beside us, notice when when we are too frail to walk, and will catch up to us when we sprint ahead of them.

I like men who a devout to their faith, who stand up for their traditional faith, and you can argue and debate decisively and convincingly without losing their cool. Men who care and wish to protect their loved ones from harm, and who do their best to provide for the family. They can't be afraid of me, and my working ways to do the best for my family if it means working long hours, cutting the grass, taking out the garbage, making dinner, doing household things, doing paperwork, fixing the car, or reading a book to a child at night. I can do all these things and I don't need a man to help me in this, but some men would be turned off by all this independence and say, "Well all you need is a man to impregnate you and you can do all the rest by yourself!" which may or may not be true. While others say, "My thats a woman of the 21st century, of the new millenium and the new decade. I wouldn't mind getting to know a woman like that!"

So men, when the time comes to say that you want a woman 1/2 your age, or to have model looks and a killer body, and to have all the things that your 'lions' are striving for, perhaps if you were to do a reality check and see, that some of the most rarest and most beautiful of jewels have yet to be uncovered, you would think about looking in the most unconventional of places to find the rarest kind, to take and make it your own.

The most beautiful of statements ever written about men and women is the following:
"A woman must remember that she is a jewel, and it takes the right man to provide the perfect setting for her to shine"

I would ask that if you disagree with this, that you think about your mother, and father, and how your mother was the most happy when she had a roof over her head, warm food in the oven, children about her, and your father's arms around her in an embrace. It was in this instant that she was the most happy, and I am sure you would want to give this to another woman as well.

How you go about finding this woman is your choice, but being yourself, and knowing your limits is the first step to success. Know yourself and what you want before you hunt, (much like how you males choose to shop) and if you get distracted on the way, then you need to re-evaluate your ideas before heading out, and have a clearer focus as to what you want, how you will attain it, and why it is important that you have it in your life. This will translate to self-esteem and self-awareness, 2 very delectable features in any male, as it carries him forward, and makes him noteworthy in the eyes of any potential female, as does how he acts, dresses, looks, and presents himself upon first meeting her. There is much to thing about, but there is even more to be gained. The best of luck to you all.

I don't worry about these things.
Catholicmilkman Wrote:I don't worry about these things.
You are wise.
I think you had a lot of good thoughts in your post.  You were right on about many things. 

The only hitch is the part where you mention all the ways in which you are independent and how a man would need to fill in when necessary because you had to work long hours, or were otherwise occupied.

Maybe it isn't obvious, but when you are married, and your husband loves you, he will help out when necessary.  What he doesn't relish is being treated like "help" or an assistant. He doesn't want to feel as though you really can get along without him. 

We are created to be interdependent.  I haven't found that many men really like to have wives who "don't need them."  If she doesn't need him, just wants some company, than what's the point?

A man needs a wife....he needs a woman to act like a woman and need him like a woman.  And vice versa.  Even though our culture says we're interachangeable, that's not what we should be striving for -

Maybe I misunderstood that part of your post.  I do understand wanting a husband to be there for you.  But a husband wants a wife to be there for him as well. 

Sometimes we overthink these things in this age in which so many just play at being committed.  We're just supposed to find a suitable mate, get married, have a family and get on with it.


This thread is useless without pics.
PeterII Wrote:This thread is useless without pics.

Why? Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting.

Book Of Proverbs 31:30
LaRoza Wrote:
PeterII Wrote:This thread is useless without pics.

Why? Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting.

Book Of Proverbs 31:30

Agreed.  My grandfather used to tell me to never marry for looks.  Looks fade.  Marry for cooking, he said.  Cooking lasts forever.

But my opinion of people who talk about themselves so much has been documented.
LaRoza Wrote:
PeterII Wrote:This thread is useless without pics.

Why? Charm is deceptive and beauty fleeting.

Book Of Proverbs 31:30

I would meditate on that everyday...if my girlfriend was ugly!
[Image: laff.gif]
sip sip

PeterII Wrote:I would meditate on that everyday...if my girlfriend was ugly!

Subjunctive mood fail. If my girlfriend were ugly.

And about your girlfriend, she will be, she will be. (At least, to your perspective now, in the future)

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5