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So as a lot of you probably know I'm taking instruction to be received into the Catholic Church. The last few weeks I've had a weird feeling of unease, without in any way regretting my decision, that has been instigated by the changes taking place in me. I was wondering if any of the other converts/reverts on this website experienced something similar or if it's just me. How did it pan out for you guys?
When I first reverted I felt immense sorrow over the sins I had committed and seemingly not cared about for years.  It was real, true, tangible sorrow.  But it didn't last long at all, at least I would never say that I was in a state of mourning.

Thats what this may be, just more compounded than what I experienced.  When one turns his heart to Christ, he can be overwhelmed when considering the way they've grievously offended him.

Prayers for you.  Pray
I did experience conversion as a death of the old me so that a new me could be reborn.  However, I was glad to be rid of the old me so I did not experience any mourning around this.  I can understand how it might be different for a nicer person than me.
(05-05-2011, 09:56 AM)JayneK Wrote: [ -> ]I did experience conversion as a death of the old me so that a new me could be reborn.  However, I was glad to be rid of the old me so I did not experience any mourning around this.  I can understand how it might be different for a nicer person than me.

LOL I always enjoy your posts, Jayne.
Aragon, I can relate.

And, I think the inability to pinpoint "the" change might simply be, that you are choosing not to exist...alone.
I felt euphoric actually, but I can understand where one would feel a sense of mourning. I was like Jayne in that I could not wait to "get rid of the old me."

In reference to the original post you quoted, I do have to say that I think your personality and tastes will change a bit (depending on what you are like now). I think you'll begin to realize, if you haven't already, that several things you thought may have been ok were actually occasions of sin. For example, a morning ritual around here at the job is for everyone to gather around a co-workers bikini calendar to see who the "Babe of the Day" is. Now I have to avoid that gathering because it's an occasion of sin for me and it has caused strains in my relationships with my co-workers.

(05-05-2011, 09:56 AM)JayneK Wrote: [ -> ]I did experience conversion as a death of the old me so that a new me could be reborn.  However, I was glad to be rid of the old me so I did not experience any mourning around this.  I can understand how it might be different for a nicer person than me.

I felt the same.

As it seems to go when grace changes you, is that you notice changes after they've already happened instead when it is happening.
My mourning period came later and was related to losing friends and life no longer being easy. I was ecstatic at the beginning.
I felt a sense of shame and regret as I learned how I'd done wrong and the things that I could never fix because of the choices I'd made.  

But since what had been the catalyst for my "faith journey" was the death of my mother and the birth of my two children ... I'd already spent years in emotional ups and downs ... I was able to see that it was necessary for me to be receptive to God's grace to convert.

I've heard people say that sometimes when a person is in the process of conversion or just growing closer and closer to God, that the Devil throws in every wrench he can think of to try to grab the person's soul for his own.   These sad feelings may be just that.  

This is an awesome miracle in your life!  God loves you so much that through His mercy He's pulled you away from the brink of disaster to begin your journey back to Him, to spend all eternity in the happiness of Heaven.  

Hallelujah !  ;D Pray
(05-05-2011, 10:50 AM)damooster Wrote: [ -> ]For example, a morning ritual around here at the job is for everyone to gather around a co-workers bikini calendar to see who the "Babe of the Day" is. Now I have to avoid that gathering because it's an occasion of sin for me and it has caused strains in my relationships with my co-workers.

I bet some of them secretly respect and admire you, if not envy you in a good way.

My father (not a Catholic) was not a particularly religious man anyway, but he never engaged in dirty or off colored jokes when he was out with the guys. He never used foul language.  I remember a few of my father's friends telling me how much they respected him. So Damooster I think you are leading a good example to follow, and some might do that after a while.
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