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We will be traveling this weekend and will have the opportunity to attend mass at an SSPX chapel as we pass through the town.  I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not looking forward to the rest of my family's attitude.  They are going just because I want to go.  How can I prepare for this?  What are some things I can do so that my husband and children won't just be uncomfortable?  What should I NOT do? 
Well done for making the effort, and i'll pray for you all that you enjoy the blessings of God's grace flowing freely through the traditional Mass.

If your familyare already familiar with the TLM then get them to focus on the traditional qualities of the SSPX priest.  Every one is different of course, but nearly all are edifying and have something remarkable to do with their formation.  If not the priest then the same can be said about many of the SSPX faithful.

If your family are new to the TLM as well then get them to follow to actions of the priest and server, identify these with the similar stages of the NO rite and they won't get lost and uncomfortable.  I just love the way that the TLM just glides along, like a well-oiled steam engine. It has a rhythm and a cadence that really calms and seprerates you, and your family, from the harshness of everyday life.  I've taken even relatives who are Chino's (Christian in name only) to the TLM, and even they have appreciated the sacred time they've had.

God bless.
(06-17-2011, 01:11 PM)Gris Wrote: [ -> ]We will be traveling this weekend and will have the opportunity to attend mass at an SSPX chapel as we pass through the town.  I'm looking forward to it, but I'm not looking forward to the rest of my family's attitude.  They are going just because I want to go.  How can I prepare for this?  What are some things I can do so that my husband and children won't just be uncomfortable?  What should I NOT do? 

Has your family been to another TLM before?  Do they dislike the TLM in general?  My answer would depend upon all those.

But one thing I could suggest: have a very positive and prayerful attitude.  What else can you really do?  You will not convince them to like it if they are not ready to like it, and it's not about "liking" it anyway.
Fight through resistance by making it a habit.
The nearest SSPX is three hours away.  The direction we're traveling takes us to mass seven hours away.  We're just passing through on our way somewhere else.

My husband is a NO cradle Catholic.  We went to a diocesan TLM once over an hour away from our home.  He didn't get it.  He also was holding our youngest and couldn't follow the missal at all.  The comment he made after that mass was,"I can see why the mass was changed." 

I am a convert and I also like to read.  If you want truth and seek it, the NO doesn't seem like the place to be.  I'm to the point where I want to stay home instead of go to the NO.  Maybe my pride and nitpicking tendencies are more at work here than I'd like to admit, but I am tired of showy choirs that sound like and sing songs that are Southern Baptist, female altar servers, female lectors, EMCH, laity taking the host to shut-ins, you name it, you got it here stuff.  I'm not really looking to discuss these, they are merely examples of what bother me.

I am looking forward to Veneta on Sunday though!  I  pray that this will encourage my family to seek beyond what they currently know.

Thank you for the responses so far.  I appreciate the encouragement.
(06-17-2011, 03:33 PM)Gris Wrote: [ -> ]The comment he made after that mass was,"I can see why the mass was changed." 

I understand the comment.  I once felt that way.

The thing is, as an NO cradle Catholic, he has been deprived of a lot.  There is a tremendous amount of experience, familiarity with Latin, familiarity with catechism, good example, exposure to Catholic culture, exposure to true Catholic music, exposure to decorum in Church, that almost no NO Catholics get at all.

Then to put them into the TLM, which is objectively superior, and then expect them to understand -- it's like taking someone who only knows Katy Perry and sending them to the opera ... they will probably dislike it.

Pray for your husband, and set a good example, and hopefully things will turn around.  Tell him it's important to you, and if he wants to know why then he can ask you any questions he wants.

My wife is in a similar situation, doesn't fully get the TLM, but goes with me because I want her to.  She is coming around.  When I argued and explained it didn't work, but when I was patient and open and answered questions when asked, then it really helped her to see.
NYC is totally right here.

Convert by example is the only way. And prayer. Just like carrying the Cross. Hard going uphill but you're gauranteed to win in the end.

It's funny.  In Ben XVI's Church there is such an identity crisis that families and households who are ostensibly Catholic can be divided over being ...'Catholic'!

For years my wife would kind of accept any Mass and would gravitate towards the local parish, much like an Anglican, her Christianity was more a location rather than vocation.

I had to tour 'round on my own, or with the eldest children, picking up TLM's where and whenever they were available.  I tried explaining the incomparable merits of the Traditional Mass but she never got enthusiastic either on theological or devotional grounds.

But then, gradually, as the scandals unfolded and local mismanagement of the Church by Diocesan blunders happened, I showed her how the Crisis in the Catholic Church today could be clearly traced back to Vat II (and beyond that to infiltation by hostile forces that had led to the Liberal takeover in the 1960's).  What's more, the way the Anglican church is going - accepting Homosexual Bishops, is turning her more and more away from liking any further 'protestantising' of the Catholic Church.  The situation now is that while she would not go out of her way to attend the TLM exclusively, nevertheless she would certainly come along with the family to a Missa Cantata.  Also, 'Tradition' is a positive word to her, so that she would not resist any broad return to it by Rome.

The thing is, in the beginning, it is not right to get too hung up over for-or-against the TLM.  In time others may see your example and may suddenly suprise you by becoming fans of the Traditional Liturgy.
Anyway have you been to Veneta on Sunday yet?

How did it go?
I'm on my mobile so I hope my autocorrect doesn't turn me into dk.  Veneta was beautiful!  My family seemed to respond to it better than the diocesan TLM.  Much more organized.  The diocesan seems like an afterthought at the parish we first went to.  In Veneta we went to 7:30 low mass with three children.  We were most definitely not the only family there.  My husband even commented on it.  The homily contained a lot of good info to know, not the usual vague "be a good person" message.  The kids were good except my eight year old daughter.  She wouldn't wear any of the scarves I brought in her hair and she complained about the differences between this mass and the NO.  She's the toughest to convince of anything.  My husband liked this a lot better and if we go that way again we're going to go again.  Yay!!!  Deo gratias.
Deo Gratias!!
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