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I made this thread some time ago in CAF but was reminded recently of it and thought I'd post here.
>sad I was flicking through my step brothers Top Trumps pack and came across this card. The theme was Horrible Histories 'most cruel rulers' and guess who turned up? Let me quote it:

Quote:Pope Urban II wanted to win back the Jerusalem of the Christian Church. So he said to the knights of Europe, "Hey, God won't mind if you kill Arabs to get Jerusalem. In fact, he'll love you!". So the murderous Crusades started. Would the Christians win? Nope, the Pope was a dope.

His 'evil rating' is 18/20, just 2 less than Hitler.

I think I may send an email to them. Utterly horendous factually but we all know what the agenda is!
(11-16-2011, 11:27 AM)SPB Wrote: [ -> ]I made this thread some time ago in CAF but was reminded recently of it and thought I'd post here.
>sad I was flicking through my step brothers Top Trumps pack and came across this card. The theme was Horrible Histories 'most cruel rulers' and guess who turned up? Let me quote it:

Quote:Pope Urban II wanted to win back the Jerusalem of the Christian Church. So he said to the knights of Europe, "Hey, God won't mind if you kill Arabs to get Jerusalem. In fact, he'll love you!". So the murderous Crusades started. Would the Christians win? Nope, the Pope was a dope.

His 'evil rating' is 18/20, just 2 less than Hitler.

I think I may send an email to them. Utterly horendous factually but we all know what the agenda is!

But the dopes won't follow up and read a real book. We all think in spoonfed soundbites.
(11-16-2011, 11:27 AM)SPB Wrote: [ -> ]
Quote:Pope Urban II wanted to win back the Jerusalem of the Christian Church. So he said to the knights of Europe, "Hey, God won't mind if you kill Arabs to get Jerusalem. In fact, he'll love you!". So the murderous Crusades started. Would the Christians win? Nope, the Pope was a dope.

I see, so on CAF, only old popes can be insulted.

My favorite Pope to make fun of is Alexander VI. Aside from letting his illegitimate son host orgies in the Papal Palace (I won't post the sordid details here), the story of his death makes me laugh.

The Pope and one of his illegitimate sons, Cesare, was dining with a Cardinal. The Cardinal suspected that the Pope was going to poison him. So the Cardinal switched his wine with the Pope's wine when nobody was looking. I'll let Wikipedia take up the rest.

Death of Pope Alexander VI - Wikipedia Wrote:Cesare eventually recovered, but the Pope was too old to have any chance. According to Burchard [, the Papal Master of Ceremonies], his stomach became swollen and turned to liquid, while his face became wine-colored and his skin began to peel off. Finally his stomach and bowels bled profusely. After more than a week of intestinal bleeding and convulsive fevers, and after accepting last rites and making a confession, the despairing Alexander VI died on 18 August 1503 at the age of 72. He is believed to have uttered the last words, "I'll come, I'll come. It's normal for you to call me. But wait a bit more", before his death.

His death was followed by scenes of wild disorder, and Cesare, too ill to attend to the business himself, sent Don Michelotto, his chief bravo, to seize the Pope's treasures before the death was publicly announced. When the body was exhibited to the people the next day it was in a shocking state of decomposition. Writing in his Liber Notarum, Burchard elaborates: "The face was very dark, the color of a dirty rag or a mulberry, and was covered all over with bruise-colored marks. The nose was swollen; the tongue had bent over in the mouth, completely double, and was pushing out the lips which were, themselves, swollen. The mouth was open and so ghastly that people who saw it said they had never seen anything like it before."

Burchard described how the Pope's mouth foamed like a kettle over a fire and how the body began to swell so much that it became as wide as it was long. The Venetian ambassador reported that [the Pope's] body was "the ugliest, most monstrous and horrible dead body that was ever seen, without any form or likeness of humanity."[14] Finally the body began to release sulfurous gases from every orifice. Burchard records that he had to jump on the body to jam it into the undersized coffin and covered it with an old carpet, the only surviving furnishing in the room.[citation needed]

Such was Alexander VI's unpopularity that the priests of St. Peter's Basilica refused to accept the body for burial until forced to do so by papal staff. Only four prelates attended the Requiem Mass. Alexander VI's successor on the Throne of St. Peter, Francesco Todeschini-Piccolomini, who assumed the name of Pope Pius III (1503), forbade the saying of a Mass for the repose of his predecessor's soul, saying, "It is blasphemous to pray for the damned." After a short stay, the body was removed from the crypts of St. Peter's and installed in a less well-known church, the Spanish national church of Santa Maria in Monserrato degli Spagnoli.[15]



And we are talking about Blessed Urban IIHuh??

"he formal act of beatification did not take place till the pontificate of Leo XIII. The cause was introduced by Mgr Langenieux, Archbishop of Reims, in 1878, and after it had gone through the various stages the decision was given by Leo XIII on 14 July, 1881."
Servire, how in the world does that make you laugh?
(11-16-2011, 01:27 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote: [ -> ]Servire, how in the world does that make you laugh?

He tried to poison a Cardinal but the Cardinal switched the wine, so the Pope poisoned himself. It's hilarious!


ETA: Maybe I'm thinking of this scene with Wally Shawn in The Princess Bride.




SPB, is there any muslim leader in that game? It is almost a rhetorical question...
(11-16-2011, 02:02 PM)Montgisard Wrote: [ -> ]SPB, is there any muslim leader in that game? It is almost a rhetorical question...


No, there is no Muslim leader in that game Wink
The popular perception of history always lags behind by at least 50 years or so. If you read any modern histories of the Crusades, you will see that they now tend to paint the Crusaders in a much better light than they did previously. Obviously, historians still won't say that the Crusades were just or anything like that, but most historians seem to have moved beyond viewing the Crusades as some sort of foreshadowing of future European imperialism driven by nothing but greed. Unfortunately, the popular view is still shaped by enlightened historians who tell us that the Crusaders were a bunch of backwards barbarians attacking the civilized and peaceful Muslims. With hope, the popular view will catch up in time.
(11-16-2011, 01:30 PM)Servire Deo Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-16-2011, 01:27 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote: [ -> ]Servire, how in the world does that make you laugh?

He tried to poison a Cardinal but the Cardinal switched the wine, so the Pope poisoned himself. It's hilarious!


ETA: Maybe I'm thinking of this scene with Wally Shawn in The Princess Bride.




Those descriptions of what happened were horrific.
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