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So, I was wondering...is always sinful to live together before marriage? They say that divorce is higher in couples that lived together before marriage. I think the reason to this is because the couples that move in after marriage are religious and the couples that move in before married tend to be not as religious. So, of course the religious couples are going to try and avoid divorce. However, I read that living as roommates, as in a non-sexual relationship is not a sin.

Do you think that living together as roommates before marriage is a bad idea? Let's be honest...if temptation is such a great factor then a couple shouldn't even be hanging out alone. And if this is the case, should we have arranged marriages?

My wife and I lived together before marriage and I definitely don't foresee anyone seeking a divorce.
I think it's always an occasion of sin.  In some cases, it may be a necessary occasion of sin. 

I don't see causation between cohabitation and divorce.  I think that it's more of a correlation.  Most people have premarital, contraceptive sex.  It's a selfish love where two people use each other.  This is the foundation of the sexual relationship, and the cohabitation serves to enable this, it (cohabitation) is not the greater evil between the two.
(11-17-2012, 03:18 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: [ -> ]So, I was wondering...is always sinful to live together before marriage? They say that divorce is higher in couples that lived together before marriage. I think the reason to this is because the couples that move in after marriage are religious and the couples that move in before married tend to be not as religious. So, of course the religious couples are going to try and avoid divorce. However, I read that living as roommates, as in a non-sexual relationship is not a sin.

Do you think that living together as roommates before marriage is a bad idea? Let's be honest...if temptation is such a great factor then a couple shouldn't even be hanging out alone. And if this is the case, should we have arranged marriages?

My wife and I lived together before marriage and I definitely don't foresee anyone seeking a divorce.
I think the issue here, which Mith alludes to but does not hit explicitly, is that entering a situation which is a near occasion of sin, without a good reason to do so, is itself a sin. This point is crucial. Obviously, that is not absolute, as I said that sometimes there is a reason it is necessary, as Mith says. But without that reason? It is a sin.

Also, do not forget that it causes scandal.
As far as scandal goes, don't you think that people shouldn't be looking into the lives of other people? Gossipers.
(11-17-2012, 04:06 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: [ -> ]As far as scandal goes, don't you think that people shouldn't be looking into the lives of other people? Gossipers.

Well, yes, people should "mind their own business" but cohabitation is scandalous because the manner in which a person lives is naturally public.

A question rises, if a couple (Catholic) is "forced" to cohabit ate as a necessary occasion of sin, do they have a moral obligation to not tell anyone (as a means of avoiding or minimizing scandal)?  Not to lie about it, but not to bring it up (usual caveats like when talking to priests or maybe doctors, etc.) around others?
Are we talking about unrelated men and women? Because I could see a brother and sister living together as roommates.

(11-17-2012, 04:06 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: [ -> ]As far as scandal goes, don't you think that people shouldn't be looking into the lives of other people? Gossipers.
This doesn't necessarily fly.  The fact that a couple in question is living in sin would become apparent over the course of normal conversation (think introductions or at social events).
While there is the temptation to view cohabitation between unmarried men and women isn't that big of a deal, remember that the Church views it as very serious. Such couples are not allowed to enter the Church unless either the couple marry or start living in separate dwellings.

(11-17-2012, 04:10 PM)Mithrandylan Wrote: [ -> ]
(11-17-2012, 04:06 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: [ -> ]As far as scandal goes, don't you think that people shouldn't be looking into the lives of other people? Gossipers.

Well, yes, people should "mind their own business" but cohabitation is scandalous because the manner in which a person lives is naturally public.

A question rises, if a couple (Catholic) is "forced" to cohabit ate as a necessary occasion of sin, do they have a moral obligation to not tell anyone (as a means of avoiding or minimizing scandal)?  Not to lie about it, but not to bring it up (usual caveats like when talking to priests or maybe doctors, etc.) around others?

How often is this really the case? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I doubt it's all that common.
I had to move in with my husband a month before our wedding because my home was destroyed in a hurricane.  Our priest said it was fine so long as we slept in seperate beds of course!  Truth be told, we were so worn out from dealing with the hurricane tragedy it wasn't much of an occasion of sin for us.  But had it been prolonged, I think it would have been a huge problem.

I have a Catholic friend who both he and his fiance reverted while they were cohabiting.  Their wedding was delayed an entire year and during that time they slept in separate rooms and did everything they could to remain chaste.  He confessed that they did indeed slip up occasionally.  Their friends and acquaintances talked about them like they were strange fundamentalists for even trying.

[/quote]

Well, yes, people should "mind their own business" but cohabitation is scandalous because the manner in which a person lives is naturally public.

A question rises, if a couple (Catholic) is "forced" to cohabit ate as a necessary occasion of sin, do they have a moral obligation to not tell anyone (as a means of avoiding or minimizing scandal)?  Not to lie about it, but not to bring it up (usual caveats like when talking to priests or maybe doctors, etc.) around others?
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How often is this really the case? I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I doubt it's all that common.
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How often is what the case?  That people cohabitate as a necessary occasion of sin, or that people in such a state have the opportunity to tell others about it? I don't know to the latter, but to the former I'm personally aware of a few situations.  And Fluffy just shared hers.

Sometimes the only option may be to live with another person (of the opposite sex) or be homeless.  I would consider that a necessary occasion of sin.
(11-17-2012, 04:06 PM)MorganHiver Wrote: [ -> ]As far as scandal goes, don't you think that people shouldn't be looking into the lives of other people? Gossipers.

What Mithrandylan said, plus it is generally presumed by people that cohabitors are having sharing a bed and having sex.  There's this attitude among people who cohabitate that the wedding ceremony is just a piece of paper and a ceremony to please the old folks.

I wouldn't advise it.

But I really don't believe these statistics about people living together before marriage have a higher divorce rate.

Among whom? I believe it is a false statistic and many other factors are involved. Socio-Economic etc.

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