09-11-2013, 11:00 PM
Hello, not sure if I am in the wrong place to post here.
Before I came, I was stilling learning about the rich and beautiful teachings of traditional catholicism. I thank God for all the solid yet orthodox information that really helped me be even more fervent in the Faith. When I came here, I feel very unworthy to adopt this lifestyle. I do not live in a large family with many siblings (I only live with one sibling). I feel as if I am the only practicing Catholic in my family, we have very very little faith before I came back to Catholicism. I never had any basic knowledge of the faith before coming here (gone through K-12 in a public school system plus college). The people I hangout with had put me into sin everyday. I have only went to a TLM mass a few times, most of my mass attendance is a N.O. mass. Finally seeing its rich history from its art, church documents, Gregorian Chant, writings of the saints, scholarly articles, and most importantly the TLM mass itself, I thank God for these gifts. All of the knowledge and wisdom in the whole world outside this spectrum is a mere nothing compared to the vast richness of God's beauty, truth, wisdom, holiness! But Oh I am unworthy to be a legitimate traditional Catholic or even hold on to its customs because of my whole life has been a huge train wreck in the past and a victim of modernism too! I am aware that I can abuse these gifts, and seek consolation from it.
It feels like God might be calling me into this life but because of my past, I feel unworthy, I feel like an outcast, I do not deserve to live as a traditional catholic. At the same time, it is the most pleasing to Our Lord, Our Lady and the Saints because it is theologically sound and has been that way for many years—not as in trying to be nostalgic.
Dose my past life hinder me to live a traditional catholic lifestyle?
Before I came, I was stilling learning about the rich and beautiful teachings of traditional catholicism. I thank God for all the solid yet orthodox information that really helped me be even more fervent in the Faith. When I came here, I feel very unworthy to adopt this lifestyle. I do not live in a large family with many siblings (I only live with one sibling). I feel as if I am the only practicing Catholic in my family, we have very very little faith before I came back to Catholicism. I never had any basic knowledge of the faith before coming here (gone through K-12 in a public school system plus college). The people I hangout with had put me into sin everyday. I have only went to a TLM mass a few times, most of my mass attendance is a N.O. mass. Finally seeing its rich history from its art, church documents, Gregorian Chant, writings of the saints, scholarly articles, and most importantly the TLM mass itself, I thank God for these gifts. All of the knowledge and wisdom in the whole world outside this spectrum is a mere nothing compared to the vast richness of God's beauty, truth, wisdom, holiness! But Oh I am unworthy to be a legitimate traditional Catholic or even hold on to its customs because of my whole life has been a huge train wreck in the past and a victim of modernism too! I am aware that I can abuse these gifts, and seek consolation from it.
It feels like God might be calling me into this life but because of my past, I feel unworthy, I feel like an outcast, I do not deserve to live as a traditional catholic. At the same time, it is the most pleasing to Our Lord, Our Lady and the Saints because it is theologically sound and has been that way for many years—not as in trying to be nostalgic.
Dose my past life hinder me to live a traditional catholic lifestyle?