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I have a friend whom I have been close to in the last year and a half. He is one of the reasons why I was able to get closer to the faith as he invited me to confraternities and I was there in the same RCIA class which we had together.

The problem though is that he is battling certain bad habits that let him get homeless. He has a drinking problem, as well as what I would call a lack of commitment to things.
It has been several months since he was kicked out into the streets and I have tried helping him as much as I can. When I found out that he became homeless my mom and I gave him about 100 dollars so he could stay in a motel for a couple of nights. I have also helped by inviting him several times out to eat for free. I am also been trying to encourage him to get back in his feet, including trying to get a job somewhere, wherever. I have also been praying for him.

Several people have let my friend stay at his house, but he has either left because of whatever reasons, or they had asked him to leave. There is obviously a reason to this. My friend does not seem to have the best quality for commitment or keeping a constant job. I have talked with my mom about my friend and she said that there is only so much I can do. My mom said that if he really wanted to get back in his feet then he would do whatever it took. That means not complain about whatever job was offered to him and keep it, as well as do what he could do to remain in the house that people are letting him stay, and not complain and not mess the opportunity up.

There is another catch also. My friend has a young girl who is about seven or so, but thank God she is staying somewhere.

I was wondering what you guys think I should do, specifically from a Catholic perspective. I feel like I could definitely do more, but at the same time as my mom said; I can only do so much and it is him who has to try as well.  ???
There's a lack of motivation there for some reason.  I've had to deal with a few people that simply refuse to expend any effort helping themselves out.  It's hard for me to comprehend why people are like that but I have picked up a tiny bit of knowledge from observation.

The main thing I've noticed is that such people may spend as much time as possible in idleness but occasionally they'll show a burst of energy and focus that's directed at something which catches their interest.  Because of this, I suspect that the problem is that such people have zero interest in the things that most people consider important.  They can't be motivated because people try to motivate them with things that fail to inspire them.  I'd hazard a guess that a deep-seated spiritual disorder could be the root of the problem but it is likely also compounded by the the fact that self-neglect will put a serious drain on someone's energy level.  Once people lose their physical fitness and become chronically lethargic it takes a disciplined will to reverse the trend.  People undergoing serious spiritual issues start to lose that discipline.  It's a nasty cycle and I've never figured out how to help anyone get out of it (besides prayer that is).

The only things I know would help would be a good diet, frequent visits to the confessional and a prayer life.  The problem is convincing people to do those things.
(09-17-2013, 09:44 PM)Akavit Wrote: [ -> ]The only things I know would help would be a good diet, frequent visits to the confessional and a prayer life.  The problem is convincing people to do those things.

Then big problem, is even if you convice them to go, it's getting them to stick to it. As you said it's a vicious cycle.

OP, well it seems you're already doing everything you can. At this point it will be up to your friend to finally respond positively and to stick to his resolutions. I can only advise you not to get discouraged, and as important it is to get him spiritual, financial, and physical help, don't forget to also meet your spiritual needs, you'll need all the strength to perform the spiritual works of mercy, to bear wrongs patiently and to forgive offences willingly and to show Christian charity even when it gets tough.

On a practical note, you mentioned you gave him $100, I would suggest to refrain from giving him hard cash, if he needs something, offer to get it for him, or at least accompany him to purchase it if you can. Having had some personal bad habits, I know how tempting it can get to go and blow the money on something else.

Lastly, I will pray for you and your friend, hopefully he'll be able to reform his life.
Your mother was right. There is only so much you can do. Of course you can pray for him. I will pray for him too.
:pray: :pray: :pray:

God BLESS you for trying to help your friend out. Some people's effort to X degree is like another person's effort to X cubed degree. Some things are just harder for some people. I mean, everyone's like that to some degree; everyone has talents and things they're not so good at. For the depressed person, just getting out of bed can feel like a full-time job in itself, or for the person who's been sexually abused, saying "no" might be much more difficult than it is for most people. It's easy for people without any addictions or physical or emotional problems to do things most people take for granted, but for the messed-up people, I believe Heaven rejoices when they're simply moving forward, even if they're far from where the "normal" people are in a particular area. It's easy to say no to booze if you're not addicted to it or don't even like it. There's no great use of the will in passing it by. But for the booze-hound to say no, it means a LOT.

I think it's too easy to say that if he wanted to get back on his feet, he'd do whatever it takes. I mean, I'm sure he'd LOVE to be back on his feet. But doing what it takes can feel insurmountable if you're addicted or depressed or think you simply can't do it, that you're not "good enough" or "normal enough" to succeed and have what other people have.  And it might be, in fact, insurmountable if certain physical or emotional issues are present.

I dunno, man.. It's a tough situation. So sad... It sounds like he needs the Sacraments and serious counseling. And until then/during that, he'll need to eat at the very least. I hope you at least keep him fed if you're able...

I'd love to win the lottery and build a huge house to live in that had a few apartments in it so I could take in a few folks who are homeless and need a toe-hold to get things going again. They'd have an address, a phone number, an email address and computer, a bathroom,  food, a place to sleep, etc., while they're trying to get ahead. Oh, and to be able to get them each a cheap car so they could look for work anywhere would be so cool... Sigh!
Thanks for all the replies it means a lot. I have been giving him the essentials- specifically food and such. I just feel bad for his situation.

I do hope he gets back on his feet and be able to stay there. One problem I see him making is that right when he starts making a bit of money he doesn't think he needs anymore assistance and so he moves out of the place they are letting him stay and tries to live on his own again. I think it takes a bit of humility to acknowledge that you need help even if you are starting to move forward in his life.

As for general I will be praying for him and giving him food and such when he needs it. I think another good idea would be to look online to see if there are homeless shelters and stuff of that nature that will help him out