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Full Version: How to Stop Masturbating - The Only Real Solution
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I saw this topic come up and I just wanted to share this resource with anyone interested. Dr. Richmond is probably the best Catholic psychoanalyst I know of. He's very orthodox in terms of theology. He runs a website called chastity in San Francisco.

The articles starts off with a question:

Quote:About a year ago I went to confession and confessed masturbation and looking at pornography and the number of times, also going to communion before confessing these sins. My priest told me that it was not a mortal sin in my case because it was leading me towards love and I should continue to take communion. What do you say about this? That response confused me. Anyway, I have still been troubled with these vices and I am unable to resist the temptations, I still look at porn and masturbate. What am I missing or what is my motivation behind this desire and why won’t I stop?

Here's a list of other topics from the self help menu:

People often know that masturbation is wrong but they don't know the root cause of it. If you don't know the root, you won't be able to remove the tree of lust from your heart, you'll just be cutting off branches your entire life. The main reason we have a pornography/masturbation crisis isn't because of the advent of the internet, it's something else that has existed for all ages but has amplified since the 2nd World War. This is a good resource to share with your parish priest, teachers, councilors, parish groups (e.g. teen purity groups), and anyone you think might benefit from it.
The website has no advertisements or "triggers" for any problems regarding chastity, cutting, and so forth.

For any of your secular friends that might be turned off by Dr. Richmond, please forward them this video:

The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow

There is also a Question and Answer section that is fantastic. It deals with topics like "Sex in Marriage", "Angry Trad", "Modesty or Mental Disorder?", and many many more interesting topics. It also has extremely good rebuttals of homosexuality from a scientific perspective and not "DA BAHBLE SAYS" street screamer preacher rubbish that turns people off.

The language used in dealing with these topics is very Catholic and pure in word. I noticed that some discussions regarding the procreative act on this board have been rather vulgar and vomit inducing, hopefully some of you can learn "chaste language" from reading these articles. I'm not blaming anyone, I just think that the USA is extremely filthy and, to my surprise, this Alfred Kinsey-ian revolutionary sex talk has infiltrated the traditional Catholic world, which has completely shattered my view that "trads" are the orthodox Jews of Catholicism, at least in terms of chastity and modesty. Instead I've seen that discussions on the marital act are surprisingly... Mormon.
I've perused him before. I am at best weary of him; at worse I'm repulsed.

While I'm aware that this review site isn't favorable to certain sites I enjoy, they had the same problems with this man's answers that I did.
Not sure who was right in the thread as it was several years ago, but obviously sins against the 6th commandment need to be fought against, and chastity needs to be promoted in the Church among us and our world.

Speculation or personal attack against this jonbhorton, other posters or Priests, their organizations, the Pope, Bishops, the Church or any other organizations, officials or individuals was wrong and I apologize for any sins of Gossip, Detraction, Calumny, and/or Slander caused by this post, as well as any other sins committed, and any sins others fell or will fall into by reading it as a result.

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be,
world without end. Amen.
The fact that Catholic Culture isn't wildly enthusiastic about this makes me rather inclined to like it.  I just glanced at the website ( ever so briefly.  The dude seems hardcore when it comes to fighting the evils of this world, which I find very appealing.  There were a couple of things that made me go hmm..., particularly the author's assertion that older individuals should not marry for the sake of companionship (or, God forbid, true love I guess) because their union would not be open to procreation.  Strange, but not heretical.  Given the state of the Church and the world, I'm just fine with that combination in small doses.
There is nothing wrong with a strong approach that he has especially in San Francisco, i wish our Bishops had that zeal!

I don't trust much of anything Catholic Culture has to say, but I disagree with the writer on that website that the desire to masturbate is born of anger, loneliness, having been disappointed by the quality of parental love, etc. I really don't think that's the case. There may be pathological masturbaters, folks who are addicted to that sort of thing, who have those sorts of issues, but I don't think most people abuse themselves for those reasons. I think masturbation among folks who don't want to masturbate, aren't watching porn, keep custody of the eyes, etc., starts with physical arousal that comes from friction, waking up, etc. Even having to urinate badly causes pelvic pressure that can cause engorgement and, therefore, sexual feeling, etc. I think the writer's getting way, way too psychoanalytical there.

And his point that masturbation has nothing to do with love: well, neither do eating, bathing, or scratching one's head. I don't think that that fact would convince most folks to give it up, but he presents it as A Great Truth that, self-evidently, proves that masturbation is wrong. I don't think most people masturbate and mistake it for love, expect to feel loved from it, in the first place. Obviously, masturbation is wrong, but that it has nothing to do with love doesn't buttress the point.

Masturbation starts with lust....lust is the reason behind it.....if you have lust in your heart and can't control it, it will lead to masturbation and fantasy....Lust is very powerful.
(01-09-2014, 06:46 AM)John64 Wrote: [ -> ]Masturbation starts with lust....lust is the reason behind it.....if you have lust in your heart and can't control it, it will lead to masturbation and fantasy....Lust is very powerful.

I think that's true for folks who fall outside the criteria I outlined to describe the specific group I was talking about, yeah. Sex, mammon, and power are the forces that drive the secular world, that's for sure. It's funny how they all interrelate, eh? A lot of men want power and money to get sex, for ex. And a lot of women use the power of sex to get power and money. Interesting, I think.

Lust is really hard to get a handle on once you even do much as allow yourself to run with an image in your mind a thought or whatever. Many of the great ascetic fathers say that it all begins with a tiny feeling or a thought that should you pay it attention can turn into a raging wildfire. In a culture like this one where immodesty is everywhere and where many already have the habit of running with lustful thoughts and images it's hard to get a handle on. The only thing that really helps me in this sort of thing is severe custody of the eyes, custody of thoughts, frequent confession and frequent WORTHY Communion. Don't underestimate the power of Holy Communion worthily(as worthy as we can be) to help fortify you in this raging battle against lusts. Oh, and using sacramentals helps too, things such as epiphany/holy water, St Benedict medals, the brown scapular etc. Oh, and don't give up no matter how many times you fall. Don't fall into scrupulosity or thinking this spiritual life is too hard or that it's not worth it. If anything let your own struggles make you more humble and more compassionate with others, especially with those that do not have the faith and the sacramental graces that you have.

As for Catholic Culture,I have to chuckle everytime I think of Dr Mirus ( makes six figures from that site alone!) sitting around judging the "fidelity to the magisterium" of almost every Catholic website under the sun. Just read their review of both Fisheaters and Audiosancto!
I find that something as simple as maintaining a regular prayer life can be an effective bulwark against such temptations. And when I say "regular," I mean it in the most literal sense, i.e. maintain a prayer life according to a rule. Pray specific things at specific times of the day. Immerse yourself in the liturgical life of the Church by meditating on the current liturgical seasons and feast days. This helps in keeping your mind and heart oriented toward God (in union with the Church), in general, which closes off possibilities to engage in idle and lustful thoughts. If you find that you are tempted at certain times of the day, make a point to designate those as your regular prayer times.
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