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I am a traditional Catholic woman who has recently become interested in a wonderful man who, in spite of his many good qualities, I have learned is involved in a style of ballroom dancing that I feel is immoral. When he first told me he did ballroom dancing, I was envisioning something traditional, like Viennese waltz, because he is conservative in so many areas of his life. However, after finding videos of the dancing he does, I am concerned.

What has been published on the topic of immoral dancing (inappropriate touch, dance used for seduction, etc) that could help me figure out how to broach this concern with him? Preferably something published relatively recently, and can be understood by someone raised in modern culture.  Smile
All I know to recommend is St. Francis de Sales-- there's a chapter or two in Intro to the Devout Life that deals with dancing.  However, there's nothing I recall that's specific to one type of dancing over another.

I do recall that there are condemnations from the Holy Office of the tango, if that's of any use to you.  I know it was discussed at some point on Suscipe Domine, but I'm not sure I would know how to track it down.

I wish you the best of luck-- always a delicate topic to broach.  I would think a good man would listen to you willingly, though.  Certainly he will prefer for you to discuss it with him rather than breaking up with him without his really understanding why.


Love and do what thou wilt is my general take on things (where Love, obviously, precludes sin -- breaking the precepts of the Church or the 10 Commandments as summarized by the Two Great Commandments). IF a given dance is not a near occasion of sin for you, IF it isn't a near occasion of sin for the person you're dancing with, and IF it isn't a (true) scandal (please read the definition if you're not sure what "scandal" means) to anyone watching, then it's fine. IF it's a near occasion of sin or it a true scandal, then cut it out of your life.



(04-06-2014, 07:11 PM)tradgirl85 Wrote: [ -> ]I am a traditional Catholic woman who has recently become interested in a wonderful man who, in spite of his many good qualities, I have learned is involved in a style of ballroom dancing that I feel is immoral. When he first told me he did ballroom dancing, I was envisioning something traditional, like Viennese waltz, because he is conservative in so many areas of his life. However, after finding videos of the dancing he does, I am concerned.

What has been published on the topic of immoral dancing (inappropriate touch, dance used for seduction, etc) that could help me figure out how to broach this concern with him? Preferably something published relatively recently, and can be understood by someone raised in modern culture.  Smile

Good to see someone who realizes some of the problems!
(04-06-2014, 11:14 PM)Vox Clamantis Wrote: [ -> ]Love and do what thou wilt is my general take on things (where Love, obviously, precludes sin -- breaking the precepts of the Church or the 10 Commandments as summarized by the Two Great Commandments). IF a given dance is not a near occasion of sin for you, IF it isn't a near occasion of sin for the person you're dancing with, and IF it isn't a (true) scandal (please read the definition if you're not sure what "scandal" means) to anyone watching, then it's fine. IF it's a near occasion of sin or it a true scandal, then cut it out of your life.

I'm with Vox here. I used to take ballroom dancing lessons. Yes, there are particular varieties of, say, the tango that I, personally, would avoid; however, that being said, as Vox said, if neither you nor your *interest* are entering into a near occasion of sin (and who, in this twerking day-and-age, is truly scandalized by ballroom dancing?), why not enjoy a civilized, structured, and *fun* evening with others?

Honestly, if a mythical/magical trad girl dropped from the denim heavens into my hometown, I would propose an evening of ballroom dancing, drinks at a restaurant within a block of the dance studio, and coffee and ice cream after all of that.   

Then again, I could be a member of the mass damnata, so honestly evaluate my $0.02.
Would you feel better about it if his partner wore a burqa?

Seriously, lighten up.  Any man who is aroused by dancing is going to be aroused by absolutely anything.

(04-07-2014, 11:11 AM)Bourbon Apocalypse Wrote: [ -> ]Honestly, if a mythical/magical trad girl dropped from the denim heavens into my hometown, I would propose an evening of ballroom dancing, drinks at a restaurant within a block of the dance studio, and coffee and ice cream after all of that.   

Don't forget making sure she's on the same page with you about the Syllabus of Errors.
(04-07-2014, 03:57 PM)spasiisochrani Wrote: [ -> ]Would you feel better about it if his partner wore a burqa?

Seriously, lighten up.  Any man who is aroused by dancing is going to be aroused by absolutely anything.

Maybe she's the one aroused by him and that's tempting her? Can't assume its always the guy with the issue.
What kind of ballroom dancing was it?  My wife and I used to go to a Latin jazz club with a few other couples every weekend and dance the tango, salsa, merengue.... we mostly danced with each other but I wouldn't consider it a near occasion if someone else cut in.... That's what people do in a social dancing sort of scenario.
(04-07-2014, 04:23 PM)Chestertonian Wrote: [ -> ]
(04-07-2014, 11:11 AM)Bourbon Apocalypse Wrote: [ -> ]Honestly, if a mythical/magical trad girl dropped from the denim heavens into my hometown, I would propose an evening of ballroom dancing, drinks at a restaurant within a block of the dance studio, and coffee and ice cream after all of that.   

Don't forget making sure she's on the same page with you about the Syllabus of Errors.

D'oh! I knew I would ruin it...