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I live with a family member who is very unpredictable with her moods. When I go by her track record and she insists that it's a different story, I'm concerned that I'm making a rash judgment about her, and I also don't know what nature the judgment would be (venial or mortal). My scruples have gone away, but I want to make sure that I'm handling this properly.

Here's an example.

I tried showing this family member a video excerpt and she said several times that she wanted to see it. Then she said she didn't want to see it and wanted me to leave the room. I said that obviously wasn't true, given the number of times she said she wanted to see. Then I asked her a bit later on if she wanted to see it, and she said she wanted to see it later. So in this small span of time, I got several definite "yes"es, some "no"s, and one, "yes, but not right now."

It's so hard to keep track of her ever changing moods and expectations and I don't want to make a rash judgment, but I don't know how to categorize this. Is this something I should add to my confessions?
I'm not quite understanding what you mean by judgement. Do you mean that you have been jumping to conclusions regarding the nature of her mood swings and are afraid that this is causing you to sin?

In any case I would advise you to be patient with her, don't get upset, and if she starts this don't linger too long on it. Be gentle, if she seems cooperative perhaps ask her if she knows that she is doing it, depending on the circumstances you might need to ask a doctor.

If her mood swings have been causing you to get angry then it is possibly a sin, it doesn't really matter if it is mortal or venial (chances are that if you don't know it's mortal then it's probably not), you should confess as many sins as you can think of, not just the mortal ones.

I hope I helped, I will pray for both of you.
(11-19-2015, 11:45 PM)Dominicus Wrote: [ -> ]I'm not quite understanding what you mean by judgement. Do you mean that you have been jumping to conclusions regarding the nature of her mood swings and are afraid that this is causing you to sin?

In any case I would advise you to be patient with her, don't get upset, and if she starts this don't linger too long on it. Be gentle, if she seems cooperative perhaps ask her if she knows that she is doing it, depending on the circumstances you might need to ask a doctor.

If her mood swings have been causing you to get angry then it is possibly a sin, it doesn't really matter if it is mortal or venial (chances are that if you don't know it's mortal then it's probably not), you should confess as many sins as you can think of, not just the mortal ones.

I hope I helped, I will pray for both of you.
Yes, in regards to your question. I try to go by her track record, but then it changes up at random and it's very hard to keep track. But when I say something like, "let's just be honest" or "that's not true," I'm concerned that I'm running into a sin territory.

I try to be patient, but it's so hard. I really feel like she has Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not a psychologist, but her moods and perceptions of me change so rapidly, one moment she's cheerful and the next moment, she's yelling and saying some very hurtful and manipulative things. It's just very hard to keep track and it's also hard to stay patient all the time with it going on. I will try to ask her if she's aware of this without her getting upset. I don't think she will consult a doctor about it.

Thank you for your help and for your prayers. I appreciate it greatly.
I doesn't sound like you are sinning, you seem to just be pointing out the facts. As long as you remain charitable, dont let yourself become too angry, and look for the best then you should be fine. From what you have described she may be having some mental trouble, she is probably not doing it on purpose. It's possible that she forgets what she originally said and then becomes upset or even a little bit frightened, thus she reacts defensively with anger as a coping mechanism. if it continues or worsens, I think you should seek professional help for her sake. It might not be too serious but its possible that it could be hiding an underlying illness of some sort.
(11-20-2015, 12:06 AM)Dominicus Wrote: [ -> ]I doesn't sound like you are sinning, you seem to just be pointing out the facts. As long as you remain charitable, dont let yourself become too angry, and look for the best then you should be fine. From what you have described she may be having some mental trouble, she is probably not doing it on purpose. It's possible that she forgets what she originally said and then becomes upset or even a little bit frightened, thus she reacts defensively with anger as a coping mechanism. if it continues or worsens, I think you should seek professional help for her sake. It might not be too serious but its possible that it could be hiding an underlying illness of some sort.

That's a very good point that I hadn't considered. She did say something earlier about how her mind doesn't work all that well these days. Thank you again for the very important advice and prayers!
(11-19-2015, 11:11 PM)Share Love Wrote: [ -> ]I live with a family member who is very unpredictable with her moods. When I go by her track record and she insists that it's a different story, I'm concerned that I'm making a rash judgment about her, and I also don't know what nature the judgment would be (venial or mortal). My scruples have gone away, but I want to make sure that I'm handling this properly.

Here's an example.

I tried showing this family member a video excerpt and she said several times that she wanted to see it. Then she said she didn't want to see it and wanted me to leave the room. I said that obviously wasn't true, given the number of times she said she wanted to see. Then I asked her a bit later on if she wanted to see it, and she said she wanted to see it later. So in this small span of time, I got several definite "yes"es, some "no"s, and one, "yes, but not right now."

It's so hard to keep track of her ever changing moods and expectations and I don't want to make a rash judgment, but I don't know how to categorize this. Is this something I should add to my confessions?

Sometimes you just have to let some things go and let people be who they are.
Love them and pray for them
:) :) :)
I do my best. Thank you, Poche! :)