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I'm going to go ahead and say something very personal here I've never admitted before publicly. I am a catholic who has same sex attractions. I truly believe I wasn't born this way and it was through childhood trauma that I turned "gay". I think acting on these same sex desires is just pouring salt on an open wound. I hope the church doesn't change it's stance on homosexuality. It's not good for us. It's all about disordered lust. It isn't about love.

I change my mind sometimes and think the opposite but that is my stance right now.

But it sucks to live this way. I basically just have to be alone for my whole life or try to marry a woman that I'm not attracted to. I don't think that would be very fair to her. I don't wanna be alone forever. I just wish God would take this curse away from me.
(06-27-2016, 01:43 AM)brogan Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to go ahead and say something very personal here I've never admitted before publicly. I am a catholic who has same sex attractions. I truly believe I wasn't born this way and it was through childhood trauma that I turned "gay". I think acting on these same sex desires is just pouring salt on an open wound. I hope the church doesn't change it's stance on homosexuality. It's not good for us. It's all about disordered lust. It isn't about love.

I change my mind sometimes and think the opposite but that is my stance right now.

But it sucks to live this way. I basically just have to be alone for my whole life or try to marry a woman that I'm not attracted to. I don't think that would be very fair to her. I don't wanna be alone forever. I just wish God would take this curse away from me.

The Church cannot, and will not change its teachings on homosexuality.  Should someone in the Church try, they would be a heretic.  Pray that God will raise up saints to fight for the Church against her enemies- especially those enemies who appear as shepherds.  I shudder to imagine the judgment for those who refuse to love and defend the Church.  If those who are most obliged to defend the Church won't do so, then those who are less obliged must do so.  There are others out there who struggle as you struggle, and there are those who encourage and support you in trying to live according to the Church's teachings.
Brogan, have you looked into the Courage apostolate?
(06-27-2016, 01:43 AM)brogan Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to go ahead and say something very personal here I've never admitted before publicly. I am a catholic who has same sex attractions. I truly believe I wasn't born this way and it was through childhood trauma that I turned "gay". I think acting on these same sex desires is just pouring salt on an open wound. I hope the church doesn't change it's stance on homosexuality. It's not good for us. It's all about disordered lust. It isn't about love.

I change my mind sometimes and think the opposite but that is my stance right now.

But it sucks to live this way. I basically just have to be alone for my whole life or try to marry a woman that I'm not attracted to. I don't think that would be very fair to her. I don't wanna be alone forever. I just wish God would take this curse away from me.

As you can probably tell from having hung out here at FE, you're so not alone. There are LOTS of great Catholics, trad Catholics, who are carrying the same Cross. I have a soft spot in my heart for people with that particular burden (though I'm straight myself).

As has been said, the Church cannot change Her teachings on this. But some Christians could do a much better job at separating out homosexuality (the disorder) from homosexual acts (the sins), and showing more compassion for people who suffer from this disorder. Giving homosexuals the benefit of the doubt in terms of whether they're sexually active or not; giving them compassion when they stumble and are repentant; not treating homosexual acts as worse than one's own mortal sins; being careful with language; trying to mentally "walk a mile in homosexuals' moccasins" and trying to imagine what it must be like to have that disorder; understanding that homosexuality is about a LOT more than just where one wishes to place his genitals (!!!) -- i.e., having an understanding of eros, and of the struggles behind the phenomenon of homosexuality; not equating  "homosexual acts" or, for goodness sake, especially "homosexuality" with "sodomy" (especially while not caring at all about heterosexual sodomy); not assuming that every homosexual wants to change Church teaching or normalize his disorder or is liberal or part of the very real and vicious homosexualist lobby -- all of that would go far in making sure homosexuals feel welcome, as they should, in the Church.

FWIW, I've got your back, B. And I think it's ultra-brave for you to be honest about your struggles! Bravo to you! Focus on Christ (and your music!) and know you've always got an internet home here.
I'm getting tired of apologizing for being a Catholic.
I just got a message today from a "bisexual" friend of mine who essentially said "See! Even your Pope says you should be apologizing for years of persecutions - how can you possibly have such a bigoted attitude when even your leader admits the Church was wrong?"

God help us all when the Holy Father not only ceases to confirm his brothers in the faith, but instead confirms sinners in their sins which cry out to heaven for vengeance.

On the plus side, less and less people seem to be opposing the "recognize and resist" attitude of the SSPX, as it becomes ever clearer that not only can we resist the Pope, but we certainly must resist this Pope.
(06-26-2016, 09:46 PM)ermy_law Wrote: [ -> ]People who choose to make their sexual proclivities their defining characteristic marginalize themselves.

Yes, be a minimalist, in this sense: I am a Catholic, Bathed in The Blood, Forgiven through God's Grace and Christian, by the Love of Jesus my Savior. Any other attachment, especially having to do with physical attachments, is grossly immaterial and irrelevant, indeed.
(06-27-2016, 01:43 AM)brogan Wrote: [ -> ]or try to marry a woman that I'm not attracted to. I don't think that would be very fair to her. I don't wanna be alone forever. I just wish God would take this curse away from me.

Perhaps, you simply haven't found the right female women yet. All of us males take a long time, usually, to find that 'right woman'. You may have difficulties added to this because you may have predispositions because of life's experiences, that get in your way, but with prayer and God's loving Graces, that right women will come along.

You just have to be patient and use 'the right bait'. You won't find her among men.

She will come and she will be a lifelong and loving companion. Have Faith and it will come, despair and that is all you'll receive.
To follow up on what Zedta said, for some women, the sex act is not as important as the rest of the relationship.  Indeed, if all your relationship is based upon is sex, then it is rather shallow . . . 
(06-27-2016, 03:51 AM)Credidi Propter Wrote: [ -> ]
(06-27-2016, 01:43 AM)brogan Wrote: [ -> ]I'm going to go ahead and say something very personal here I've never admitted before publicly. I am a catholic who has same sex attractions. I truly believe I wasn't born this way and it was through childhood trauma that I turned "gay". I think acting on these same sex desires is just pouring salt on an open wound. I hope the church doesn't change it's stance on homosexuality. It's not good for us. It's all about disordered lust. It isn't about love.

I change my mind sometimes and think the opposite but that is my stance right now.

But it sucks to live this way. I basically just have to be alone for my whole life or try to marry a woman that I'm not attracted to. I don't think that would be very fair to her. I don't wanna be alone forever. I just wish God would take this curse away from me.

The Church cannot, and will not change its teachings on homosexuality.  Should someone in the Church try, they would be a heretic.  Pray that God will raise up saints to fight for the Church against her enemies- especially those enemies who appear as shepherds.  I shudder to imagine the judgment for those who refuse to love and defend the Church.  If those who are most obliged to defend the Church won't do so, then those who are less obliged must do so.  There are others out there who struggle as you struggle, and there are those who encourage and support you in trying to live according to the Church's teachings.

I am also gay. I know people prefer SSA but I find that name cheesy and an absurd afront to reality. I am 33 now X, but when I was in my early 20's I felt like you do. I wanted to be married and live the straight live, but i thank God I did not because inevitably, sooner or later, things hit the fan. I know one too many devout Catholic guys living the straight life and all of a sudden--boom the bomb goes of......And now you got a wife and children dragged into your mess.  Please don't listen to anyone trying to help you find the "right girl" unless you are really attracted to girls now.  Born this way, made this way, whatever the reason is, this does not get cured or prayed away.  And to say all homosexual relations are "disordered lust" is just plain crazy.  Having sex with each other might be "disordered lust" just like adultery for a married guy is "disordered lust" , but gay people are capable of loving the person they are with.  It's not all black and white

I live the best way I can and play the cards I've been dealt in life. Whatever I do or don't do in the privacy of my bedroom is between me and the confessional. I believe and accept everything the Church (not crazy Francis) teaches about sodomy . Perhaps I am not always faithful to those teachings but the truth is the truth and I can't change or challenge  that. Are my believes in conflict with my actions sometimes? Perhaps they are, and they should be , but I am sure I am sure we are not the only people here on that boat. Unless this places is free of adulterers , fornicators etc, which I highly doubt.





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