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Full Version: Can my wife and I go to her gay uncle's wake/funeral?
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My wife's uncle died of a heart attack a few weeks ago.  He lived very far away, and was more or less estranged from the family.  I only met the man once.  He was a homosexual, and living in a homosexual relationship.  He was cremated shortly thereafter, and his remains will be put to rest this weekend.

There is no funeral Mass, but a small Catholic service, led by a priest, will be held this Saturday at the funeral home.  My wife has been asked to read.  The homosexual consort of her uncle will be there.

First, she was presented with some Intercessory Prayers, one of which even mentioned the sodomite he was living with in a supportive  light (i.e. Thanking him for his companionship, etc.). I told her that she was NOT permitted to do this, as it would be speaking positively of a mortal sin, and giving scandal to many others.

She may still be doing a Scripture reading. Is this OK?  Or is even attending this thing a sin?
You should go. Even if he was living in public sin that means he may need our prayers all the more. I would steer away from any prayers mentioning his "relationship" though.
(10-18-2017, 06:13 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]My wife's uncle died of a heart attack a few weeks ago.  He lived very far away, and was more or less estranged from the family.  I only met the man once.  He was a homosexual, and living in a homosexual relationship.  He was cremated shortly thereafter, and his remains will be put to rest this weekend.

There is no funeral Mass, but a small Catholic service, led by a priest, will be held this Saturday at the funeral home.  My wife has been asked to read.  The homosexual consort of her uncle will be there.

First, she was presented with some Intercessory Prayers, one of which even mentioned the sodomite he was living with in a supportive  light (i.e. Thanking him for his companionship, etc.). I told her that she was NOT permitted to do this, as it would be speaking positively of a mortal sin, and giving scandal to many others.

She may still be doing a Scripture reading. Is this OK?  Or is even attending this thing a sin?

Go if you're able to pray for him.  But are you able?  In this case, using terms like homosexual consort and sodomite makes it sound like you're a little miffed possibly having to go.
(10-18-2017, 07:50 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]
(10-18-2017, 06:13 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]My wife's uncle died of a heart attack a few weeks ago.  He lived very far away, and was more or less estranged from the family.  I only met the man once.  He was a homosexual, and living in a homosexual relationship.  He was cremated shortly thereafter, and his remains will be put to rest this weekend.

There is no funeral Mass, but a small Catholic service, led by a priest, will be held this Saturday at the funeral home.  My wife has been asked to read.  The homosexual consort of her uncle will be there.

First, she was presented with some Intercessory Prayers, one of which even mentioned the sodomite he was living with in a supportive  light (i.e. Thanking him for his companionship, etc.). I told her that she was NOT permitted to do this, as it would be speaking positively of a mortal sin, and giving scandal to many others.

She may still be doing a Scripture reading. Is this OK?  Or is even attending this thing a sin?

Go if you're able to pray for him.  But are you able?  In this case, using terms like homosexual consort and sodomite makes it sound like you're a little miffed possibly having to go.
It's true, I don't sound charitable.  That's perhaps something I should work on.  But I don't think calling him his "partner" or something is respectful towards God.  It's a vicious sin against God to live that way.

But, just to be clear, I have indeed prayed for the soul of that man.  Perhaps my strong language was a bit uncalled for -- I just wanted to make it clear that I in no way want to go along with any sort of "religious ceremony" that pretends God approves of a sin
I’d say go, and pray for the man. He was a sinner, but aren’t we all? And one the the corporal acts of mercy is to bury the dead, which I’ve always understood to mean pray for as well. That being said, nothing says you have to affirm his relationship. If it comes up, say sosomething to the effect of “I don’t agree with it, but I pray for him and wish him peace.” Then disengage.
(10-18-2017, 08:00 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]It's true, I don't sound charitable.  That's perhaps something I should work on.  But I don't think calling him his "partner" or something is respectful towards God.  It's a vicious sin against God to live that way.

But, just to be clear, I have indeed prayed for the soul of that man.  Perhaps my strong language was a bit uncalled for -- I just wanted to make it clear that I in no way want to go along with any sort of "religious ceremony" that pretends God approves of a sin

I can understand that.  But partner in this context is a well enough understood term, and with legal same-sex marriage now, there's no reason for someone to think you mean husband if you only say partner.  I'd say partner is relatively neutral.  Saying words that were used a hundred years ago kind of sounds like a harsher version of an adult talking about sex and referring to "pee-pees" and "cooters."
I'm wondering how you know he engaged in sodomy.
There's something to be said in favor of ambiguity, leaving personal details such as that unsaid. My great-aunt, God rest her soul, was possibly a lesbian (potentially stemming from extensive childhood sexual abuse within her family), but she was a classy lady who belonged to a generation when that sort of thing just was not discussed openly. She never married and resided for many years with a woman she introduced as her special friend. They were either lesbians (as racy speculation suggested) or simply intimate friends, spinsters who decided to live together rather than live singly. In any case, nobody pried. She mourned the loss of her dear friend at the latter's funeral, alternating between weeping and collecting herself, drawing upon some reserve of strength or Christian hope, but not too long after her friend's passing, she herself passed and was entombed in an adjacent vault, their joint epitaph testifying to their friendship.
(10-18-2017, 08:00 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]It's true, I don't sound charitable.  

Modernism has won
(10-18-2017, 10:22 PM)VoxClamantis Wrote: [ -> ]I'm wondering how you know he engaged in sodomy.

Well, I left out something important: they civilly "married" a few years ago.

Also, on the topic of homosexuality, how are we defining "sodomy" here?  If youre referring to anally copulating: you're right, I have no idea.  But, is that really the deciding factor? (i.e. Whether they announced or were caught anally copulating?)
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