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What can anyone say here to help my husband (convert since Easter 2012) understand (poor RCIA program) that becoming Catholic demands a change in yourself and that (especially this point) you cannot in any way separate your daily life from your religion?  He is not understanding that point.  Perhaps it goes back the idea of separation of Church and State or some such thing. I am hoping you good Catholics can step up and make some comments that will help us with this situation.  He follows my lead, but sometimes I need help when he has an idea in his head.  Does anyone have anything to say that will help clarify this for him? :huh:
What does he think religion is? What does he think God wants from him? What does he think he's supposed to be doing and not doing? Why did he convert? I'm puzzled... Did he convert to please you or to get married to you? Does he actually believe the words of the Creed? If he doesn't, then we'd have to back way, way up... If he does, these pages might help:

https://www.fisheaters.com/conversionoftheheart.html

https://www.fisheaters.com/moralthinking.html
(12-19-2017, 03:27 PM)VoxClamantis Wrote: [ -> ]What does he think religion is? What does he think God wants from him? What does he think he's supposed to be doing and not doing? Why did he convert? I'm puzzled... Did he convert to please you or to get married to you? Does he actually believe the words of the Creed? If he doesn't, then we'd have to back way, way up... If he does, these pages might help:

https://www.fisheaters.com/conversionoftheheart.html

https://www.fisheaters.com/moralthinking.html

I have asked him those questions myself.  There is much to read online and otherwise, but I just thought individuals in a thread might be helpful to him.  I will ask him to read the sites you linked.  You have very helpful information.  Thanks.  The fact that you just reiterated what I say  to him is helpful.  As far as I understand, he is Catholic of his own choice and invested in it.  Therefore it is hard to undertand the stumbling block.  I told him he is poorly catechized so he has agreed to go through a Baltimore Catechism with me to help clarify things.  You would not believe how bad his RCIA was.  He lacks a desire to grow in his Faith.  I will ask him to read this thread and see if it helps.  Setting up this thread was just a whim on my part, hoping it would help to see things in print for him.
From the Holy Rule of St Benedict:


Quote:CHAPTER IV
The Instruments of Good Works
(1) In the first place to love the Lord God with the whole heart, the whole soul, the whole strength...(2) Then, one's neighbor as one's self (cf Mt 22:37-39Mk 12:30-31Lk 10:27).(3) Then, not to kill...(4) Not to commit adultery...(5) Not to steal...(6) Not to covet (cf Rom 13:9).(7) Not to bear false witness (cf Mt 19:18Mk 10:19; Lk 18:20). (8) To honor all men (cf 1 Pt 2:17).(9) And what one would not have done to himself, not to do to another (cf Tob 4:16Mt 7:12Lk 6:31).(10) To deny one's self in order to follow Christ (cf Mt 16:24Lk 9:23).(11) To chastise the body (cf 1 Cor 9:27).(12) Not to seek after pleasures.(13) To love fasting.(14) To relieve the poor.(15) To clothe the naked... (16) To visit the sick (cf Mt 25:36).(17) To bury the dead.(18) To help in trouble.(19) To console the sorrowing.(20) To hold one's self aloof from worldly ways.(21) To prefer nothing to the love of Christ.(22) Not to give way to anger.(23) Not to foster a desire for revenge.(24) Not to entertain deceit in the heart.(25) Not to make a false peace.(26) Not to forsake charity.(27) Not to swear, lest perchance one swear falsely.(28) To speak the truth with heart and tongue. (29) Not to return evil for evil (cf 1 Thes 5:151 Pt 3:9).(30) To do no injury, yea, even patiently to bear the injury done us.(31) To love one's enemies (cf Mt 5:44Lk 6:27).(32) Not to curse them that curse us, but rather to bless them.(33) To bear persecution for justice sake (cf Mt 5:10).(34) Not to be proud...(35) Not to be given to wine (cf Ti 1:71 Tm 3:3).(36) Not to be a great eater. (37) Not to be drowsy.(38) Not to be slothful (cf Rom 12:11).(39) Not to be a murmurer. (40) Not to be a detractor.(41) To put one's trust in God.(42) To refer what good one sees in himself, not to self, but to God.(43) But as to any evil in himself, let him be convinced that it is his own and charge it to himself.(44) To fear the day of judgment.(45) To be in dread of hell.(46) To desire eternal life with all spiritual longing.(47) To keep death before one's eyes daily.(48) To keep a constant watch over the actions of our life.(49) To hold as certain that God sees us everywhere.(50) To dash at once against Christ the evil thoughts which rise in one's heart.(51) And to disclose them to our spiritual father.(52) To guard one's tongue against bad and wicked speech.(53) Not to love much speaking.(54) Not to speak useless words and such as provoke laughter.(55) Not to love much or boisterous laughter.(56) To listen willingly to holy reading.(57) To apply one's self often to prayer.(58) To confess one's past sins to God daily in prayer with sighs and tears, and to amend them for the future.(59) Not to fulfil the desires of the flesh (cf Gal 5:16).(60) To hate one's own will.(61) To obey the commands of the Abbot in all things, even though he himself (which Heaven forbid) act otherwise, mindful of that precept of the Lord: "What they say, do ye; what they do, do ye not" (Mt 23:3).(62) Not to desire to be called holy before one is; but to be holy first, that one may be truly so called.(63) To fulfil daily the commandments of God by works.(64) To love chastity.(65) To hate no one.(66) Not to be jealous; not to entertain envy.(67) Not to love strife.(68) Not to love pride.(69) To honor the aged.(70) To love the younger.(71) To pray for one's enemies in the love of Christ.(72) To make peace with an adversary before the setting of the sun.(73) And never to despair of God's mercy.
Behold, these are the instruments of the spiritual art, which, if they have been applied without ceasing day and night and approved on judgment day, will merit for us from the Lord that reward which He hath promised: "The eye hath not seen, nor the ear heard, neither hath it entered into the heart of man, what things God hath prepared for them that love Him" (1 Cor 2:9). But the workshop in which we perform all these works with diligence is the enclosure of the monastery, and stability in the community.
What religion did he have before his conversion? I find that many protestants and 'spiritual' people have a logical disconnect in that they see religious worship, of whatever sort, as entirely separate from their daily lives.
(12-19-2017, 06:13 PM)jovan66102 Wrote: [ -> ]What religion did he have before his conversion? I find that many protestants and 'spiritual' people have a logical disconnect in that they see religious worship, of whatever sort, as entirely separate from their daily lives.

His family was lukewarm Lutheran.  He was drawn to a sort of Pentecostal type worship in a mega church years ago and still expresses "feeling" more moved in that setting.  He has a strong 12 step belief system and has given up Freemasonry.  Whew!  He was drawn to Catholicism after attending Mass with me for several years.   He was drawn by a devotion to Purgatory and loves the sacramentals.
Well, there's hope for him if he prays for the Poor Souls and uses sacramentals. However, the Lutherans, at least if they follow Luther, have a definite problem with daily living as a Christian. Luther made it very clear in his instructions to the German Princes during the Peasant Rebellion that they weren't to let their Christianity get in the way of crushing the rebellion by any means whatsoever.
(12-19-2017, 03:03 PM)Jeanannemarie Wrote: [ -> ]What can anyone say here to help my husband (convert since Easter 2012) understand (poor RCIA program) that becoming Catholic demands a change in yourself and that (especially this point) you cannot in any way separate your daily life from your religion?  He is not understanding that point.  Perhaps it goes back the idea of separation of Church and State or some such thing. I am hoping you good Catholics can step up and make some comments that will help us with this situation.  He follows my lead, but sometimes I need help when he has an idea in his head.  Does anyone have anything to say that will help clarify this for him? :huh:

Find something in the Faith that you think really interests him and will give him motivation.  Only looking at the Catechism can get a little dry.

Do you think reading about the fascinating lives of the Saints and their sanctity would be a good example for him?

Maybe a book on Padre Pio?  

Sometimes reading of the supernatural really makes the abstract aspects of the Faith hit home, that our actions really do matter and that striving for holiness really does bring us closer to Our Lord.  Looking at the mystics of the Church sort of pulls back the veil on the reality of God and our world.

http://www.mysticsofthechurch.com/