FishEaters Traditional Catholic Forums

Full Version: Do I scandalize my young child for allowing him to be around my homosexual brother?
You're currently viewing a stripped down version of our content. View the full version with proper formatting.
Pages: 1 2 3
My youngest brother is an extremely flamboyant, open homosexual.  He has basically all the accompanying personality traits; sarcastic, show-offy, argumentative, profane, passive-aggressive, etc. My wife and son and I will usually see him at my parents' house once a week for supper.  My son is almost 3 years old.

My brother even had a "boyfriend" up until about a year ago.  They were together for a while.  The guy he was with was probably even MORE obnoxious than my brother.   Thankfully he's no longer around.

My question: as my son gets to an age of understanding things a little better, should I do my best to keep him away from my brother?

On one hand, I want to be charitable to my brother to the extent possible (i.e. Treating him kindly, while not giving the appearance of being OK with his manner of life.). On the other hand, I want to keep my son away from any danger.  Thoughts?
(02-21-2018, 06:38 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]My youngest brother is an extremely flamboyant, open homosexual.  He has basically all the accompanying personality traits; sarcastic, show-offy, argumentative, profane, passive-aggressive, etc. My wife and son and I will usually see him at my parents' house once a week for supper.  My son is almost 3 years old.

My brother even had a "boyfriend" up until about a year ago.  They were together for a while.  The guy he was with was probably even MORE obnoxious than my brother.   Thankfully he's no longer around.

My question: as my son gets to an age of understanding things a little better, should I do my best to keep him away from my brother?

On one hand, I want to be charitable to my brother to the extent possible (i.e. Treating him kindly, while not giving the appearance of being OK with his manner of life.). On the other hand, I want to keep my son away from any danger.  Thoughts?


What danger are you afraid your son would realistically be in around your brother?  The only reason I could see to keep your son away is if you have good reason to believe your brother would molest him (that he is homosexual alone is not a good reason to believe that).  You may find his mannerisms to be annoying, but we will always have people in our lives that are vexatious to us for one reason or another.
(02-21-2018, 10:05 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-21-2018, 06:38 PM)FultonFan Wrote: [ -> ]My youngest brother is an extremely flamboyant, open homosexual.  He has basically all the accompanying personality traits; sarcastic, show-offy, argumentative, profane, passive-aggressive, etc. My wife and son and I will usually see him at my parents' house once a week for supper.  My son is almost 3 years old.

My brother even had a "boyfriend" up until about a year ago.  They were together for a while.  The guy he was with was probably even MORE obnoxious than my brother.   Thankfully he's no longer around.

My question: as my son gets to an age of understanding things a little better, should I do my best to keep him away from my brother?

On one hand, I want to be charitable to my brother to the extent possible (i.e. Treating him kindly, while not giving the appearance of being OK with his manner of life.). On the other hand, I want to keep my son away from any danger.  Thoughts?


What danger are you afraid your son would realistically be in around your brother?  The only reason I could see to keep your son away is if you have good reason to believe your brother would molest him (that he is homosexual alone is not a good reason to believe that).  You may find his mannerisms to be annoying, but we will always have people in our lives that are vexatious to us for one reason or another.

Perhaps he's concerned about the son interpreting the brother's presence as tacit acceptance of such a lifestyle.  Or normalizing unapologetic sodomy to his son.
If that's the case, he better keep his son in solitary confinement if the mere presence of a sinner is to be interpreted as tacit approval of their sin.
(02-21-2018, 11:22 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]If that's the case, he better keep his son in solitary confinement if the mere presence of a sinner is to be interpreted as tacit approval of their sin.

Yeah that would be pretty crazy.  But then if you think about it, you only made that assertion up and claimed I said that.
No it is not scandalous for your child to send time with your brother

Pray for your brother but make sure your son knows that homosexual behavior is offensive to God
I would just plan your visits with him to start and end in a certain duration of time, and to have some activity in between. Politely ask him not to bring his boyfriend or talk about him in front of your kids. If you're worried that he might do something to your kids, don't leave your brother alone with them for an extended period of time - but whether you fear him molesting your children really depends on how well you know him. If I were you, I'd remain cautious regardless (the fact remains that a significant percentage of homosexuals are pedophiles).

So long as he doesn't attempt to normalize his behavior in front of you or your family, I think you can enjoy some time together now and then.
(02-22-2018, 12:00 AM)Imperator Caesar Trump Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-21-2018, 11:22 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]If that's the case, he better keep his son in solitary confinement if the mere presence of a sinner is to be interpreted as tacit approval of their sin.

Yeah that would be pretty crazy.  But then if you think about it, you only made that assertion up and claimed I said that.

In Melkite's defense, he never claimed you said that.

Still, his hyperbole is just plain silly.

We have a duty to protect the innocent from being led to approve of sin, see it as good, or tolerate sin when there is no justified reason for doing so. 

Yet innocence is not ignorance. 

So it doesn't mean never allowing an "innocent" person to be in any way exposed to the dangers around them. Rather protecting that innocence requires that at the appropriate time and in a good way we help them to understand what is sinful and how to avoid these things. We, in a way, inoculate them by controlled exposure to the less harmful forms of things with the appropriate explanation. 

However, this can only happen, after a certain level of minimal virtue has been formed. That will depend on the danger and seriousness of the sin.

It's the proper way to teach about the "birds and the bees" — allow Providence to present the opportunities for questions — an so it's the same for other matters.

Here, the danger is that the brother will be seen by the child as "normal" if he is constantly exposed to someone with a personality disorder. If the brother behaved like a normal man, and happened to be homosexual, but never brought home the boyfriends, or acted in a bizarre way, then I think it could be tolerated here. If he is acting out with his queer personality, then there is a risk that eventually the child will see this abnormality as normal. It may not be a serious risk of sin, but the child will have less natural antipathy towards those who have that disordered personality, and as a result may be led to think the associate lifestyle acceptable.

It's a distant risk at age 3, but it's something to consider, because at age 3 there is no virtue built, no judgement, only learning of behavior. Because of that lack of virtue if the behavior is quite flamboyant then I think you ought to respectfully ask that the brother behave as much as possible like a normal human being while around the child, and if he cannot do that, or refuses not to bring back any boyfriends, etc. then plan visits without the child or at a time when the brother is not around. Or better yet, invite the parents to your house, and set the rules for the brother if he wants to come, or simply don't invite him.
(02-22-2018, 12:26 AM)MagisterMusicae Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-22-2018, 12:00 AM)Imperator Caesar Trump Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-21-2018, 11:22 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]If that's the case, he better keep his son in solitary confinement if the mere presence of a sinner is to be interpreted as tacit approval of their sin.

Yeah that would be pretty crazy.  But then if you think about it, you only made that assertion up and claimed I said that.

In Melkite's defense, he never claimed you said that.

Still, his hyperbole is just plain silly.

It would be silly if Catholics regularly questioned whether they should keep their children away from other sinners in the same way.  They don't.

Granted, homosexual activity is not the same degree of seriousness as petty theft, but even with more serious sins, we don't see similar threads.

"My brother just brought his mistress home for Christmas, should I keep my kids away because they might interpret his presence as tacit approval?"

"My mother gambled away her life savings and is selling herself on craigslist to make ends meet, should I keep my kids away because they might interpret her presence as tacit approval?"

What's silly is that people don't have these concerns for their children until they find out their family member is a homosexual.
(02-22-2018, 10:06 AM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-22-2018, 12:26 AM)MagisterMusicae Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-22-2018, 12:00 AM)Imperator Caesar Trump Wrote: [ -> ]
(02-21-2018, 11:22 PM)Melkite Wrote: [ -> ]If that's the case, he better keep his son in solitary confinement if the mere presence of a sinner is to be interpreted as tacit approval of their sin.

Yeah that would be pretty crazy.  But then if you think about it, you only made that assertion up and claimed I said that.

In Melkite's defense, he never claimed you said that.

Still, his hyperbole is just plain silly.

It would be silly if Catholics regularly questioned whether they should keep their children away from other sinners in the same way.  They don't.

Granted, homosexual activity is not the same degree of seriousness as petty theft, but even with more serious sins, we don't see similar threads.

"My brother just brought his mistress home for Christmas, should I keep my kids away because they might interpret his presence as tacit approval?"

"My mother gambled away her life savings and is selling herself on craigslist to make ends meet, should I keep my kids away because they might interpret her presence as tacit approval?"

What's silly is that people don't have these concerns for their children until they find out their family member is a homosexual.

Wrong.  I'd have the same concerns about a family member marrying outside the Church (in fact I had a thread about this around Christmas), or a family member living in adultery.  Scandal is scandal.
Pages: 1 2 3