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Several minutes ago, I contacted some friends of mine and asked for their prayers that I could forgive someone I have been struggling with. And in the past I had mentioned this person's name to them, for no reason. I have now started to wonder if doing that was gossip, because, while not in the original message itself, there have been times in my conversations following that, that I'd have thoughts of hoping these people would be more "on my side," and such. Did I commit gossip by mentioning this person's name? Even though my original intention was simply irrational and not intended to make this person in question look bad? 

I know that if one has committed a mortal sin in the past, and has forgotten to mention it at one's previous confession, one can receive Holy Communion at mass. In this previous message that I sent to my friends, I mentioned this person's name again, because it would be weird and confusing to simply say "someone" or "some person." If it was gossip to mention this person's name in the first place, was mentioning the person's name like that again a new mortal sin, that bars me from Holy Communion until my next confession?
You didn't say anything to them that could harm that person's reputation, so how is it sinful? All you're saying is pray for me that I can forgive x. Did you tell them what x did?

(05-11-2018, 08:18 PM)GangGreen Wrote: [ -> ]You didn't say anything to them that could harm that person's reputation, so how is it sinful? All you're saying is pray for me that I can forgive x. Did you tell them what x did?


Thanks, that helped a lot!

There was one time where it came close to this, I'll apply Socrates' method in this instance:

1. Is it true? It was kind of subjective in this instance. I was addressing how this person's behaviour was affecting me. I have a lot of wounds from my childhood, and this person was re-opening them, by her behaviour.

2. Is it good? No, but it was not good for me either, and I was bringing it to these people because I needed help dealing with my problem.

3. Is it helpful? As mentioned above, I was bringing it to these people, my help, because I wanted help. I suppose these people wouldn't have the best help available, but they are my friends, (very good friends by the way) and it was instinctual for me to turn to them.

What do you think? Have I committed any sin here?
again, how much did you tell them?

The idea behind the 3 questions is when you're actually stating something specific about a person. If you're just saying I've been having troubles with such and such, pray for me. That's a lot different than, I've been having troubles with such and such who did x to me. 

I think one other test worth noting is if whatever you said to your friends could have harmed that person's reputation or their "good name." Did whatever you said make your friends think less of that person? I believe St. Thomas uses such a test.

Also, even if you think that you've sinned, the question on whether it's mortal would be your intention. If you intended to tarnish that person's name, which it does not seem, then that would be a mortal sin.

Another point which St. Thomas mentions, "And if such defamatory words be uttered for the sake of some necessary good, and with attention to the due circumstances, it is not a sin and cannot be called backbiting." Here you could even say that you asking for prayers to mend a broken relationship is for the sake of a necessary good. Maybe I'm stretching it a bit here, but I don't think so.

Either way, I don't see the sin or at most a venial sin.
(05-11-2018, 08:41 PM)GangGreen Wrote: [ -> ]again, how much did you tell them?

The idea behind the 3 questions is when you're actually stating something specific about a person. If you're just saying I've been having troubles with such and such, pray for me. That's a lot different than, I've been having troubles with such and such who did x to me. 

I think one other test worth noting is if whatever you said to your friends could have harmed that person's reputation or their "good name." Did whatever you said make your friends think less of that person. I believe St. Thomas uses such a test.

Okay, I understand now,

What I told them was that, the person in question reminds me a lot of someone who hurt me in my childhood, (like I said I have issues) so this could harm this harm this person's reputation. How serious is this, does the fact that a lot of it has to do with my own issues reduce my culpability?
(05-11-2018, 08:48 PM)MaryLover Wrote: [ -> ]Okay, I understand now,

What told was that, the person in question reminds me a lot of someone who hurt me in my childhood, (like I said I have issues) so this could harm this harm this person's reputation. How serious is this, does the fact that a lot of it has to do with my own issues reduce my culpability?

If you have doubts just ask a priest. I'm not qualified to make a determination and you could go into more detail with a priest.
(05-11-2018, 09:34 PM)GangGreen Wrote: [ -> ]
(05-11-2018, 08:48 PM)MaryLover Wrote: [ -> ]Okay, I understand now,

What told was that, the person in question reminds me a lot of someone who hurt me in my childhood, (like I said I have issues) so this could harm this harm this person's reputation. How serious is this, does the fact that a lot of it has to do with my own issues reduce my culpability?

If you have doubts just ask a priest. I'm not qualified to make a determination and you could go into more detail with a priest.

Okay.
As a general rule, you probably shouldn’t mention someone’s name if you have to say something about them. If there is something that someone really needs to know about a person, that’s one thing, but gossipping is usually just an easy way to attempt to impress others with knowledge that you have that they don’t. If you want to do that, then I suggest learning something useful to share with others.