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I've been battling with myself for about 5 years and finally this past September, after coming home from a three week vacation in Italy and reading the Vigano letter, I decided it was time to try the TLM. I recently found a new, to me, parish that was a 35 minute drive that is run by the FSSP. What a wonderful decision that has been! I can't begin to describe the jubilation I feel inside. My wife, however, is still not convinced.

I found this site a long time ago, but I can't remember my login or email address I used so I had to create a new profile. So with that in mind, I have some questions I was hoping I could get answered by you fine fisheaters:

1. I noticed at two FSSP run churches (I found a second one an hour from me) there is a grown man serving on the alter with the priest at the low mass. What is that about? I thought only a boy could serve.

2. After the priest exits the church everyone kneels down and prays. Some for a long time. What am I supposed to be doing at that time? I tend to just say a couple personal prayers and exit. But if there is a traditional set of prayers to say, I would love to know them.

3. I noticed that a lot of the people were using a 1962 Roman Catholic Daily Missal, so I bought one. I have a method that works for now but is there a standard way you are supposed to use the multi-colored tassels?

4. How am I to know what are my "duties and obligations" for my state of life? I am married with two kids, a boy (5yo) and a girl (2yo).

5. I have a crucifix over the front door to my house and hanging over my bed (both Benedictine crosses). My children have a cross, not a crucifix, over the door to their room, not over their bed (precious moments that says "Jesus Loves Me" my boy in blue, girl in pink. Given by their godmother, same woman).  Should I do more?

6. I know on your main site pages a family altar is recommended, but I'm trying to tread lightly while my wife catches up. What subtle things can I add to the home? Candles, pictures, etc? What do I do with religious candles?

7. Growing up my parents did teach me a few things that I just want to make sure are truly good.
  a. Nodding your head every time you say "Jesus" in prayers
  b. kiss bibles before and after opening (my missal too?)
  c. kiss holy objects if they fall
  d. I used to watch my parents bless each other in the morning, they would touch the other persons body as if they were crossing for the other person. I started that with my family. Is this encouraged?

8. The Baltimore Catechism has a part 1 through 4. What is the difference and which one should I get?

9. My grandmother used to tell us about the three days of darkness. I found on one of your recommended sites a beeswax candle specifically for that end. Am I to prepare for this possibility?

10. When I first moved in with my wife, we were only dating (I've come a long way) and I said it didn't feel like my home. So she went out and bought me a big 22x16 Guinness Poster (my fav beer, back then I drank far too much of it). I would like to change it out. I found a picture I think would be fitting but I don't know if it might be too much for my wife. Also, it has words at the bottom in what I believe is Latin. Would anyone recommend this picture in the home and would you be able to tell me what it says?:

https://www.art.com/products/p3496146009...pi=PTLC2I0
(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]I've been battling with myself for about 5 years and finally this past September, after coming home from a three week vacation in Italy and reading the Vigano letter, I decided it was time to try the TLM. I recently found a new, to me, parish that was a 35 minute drive that is run by the FSSP. What a wonderful decision that has been! I can't begin to describe the jubilation I feel inside. My wife, however, is still not convinced.

Welcome to "the dark side"!

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]There is a grown man serving on the alter with the priest at the low mass. What is that about? I thought only a boy could serve.

Nope. An altar server is a substitute for the minor order of Acolyte. This Order is meant for grown men, so not only is there no problem with grown men serving, it is generally preferable that servers ought to be older boys and men, since they are more likely to act with dignity at Mass.

The rubrics of the Mass even assume that at a Solemn Mass (the normal form of Mass—a Low Mass is done out of necessity because of a lack of clergy/servers) that the MC is a priest, or at least a deacon, though often it is an older boy or man.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]After the priest exits the church everyone kneels down and prays. Some for a long time. What am I supposed to be doing at that time? I tend to just say a couple personal prayers and exit. But if there is a traditional set of prayers to say, I would love to know them.

You ought to take this time to make a thanksgiving for the graces received, or for your Communion. This can be by any method you prefer. Even just a bit of time in adoration is a good thing to do here, but there are plenty of prayers you could say and most Missal offer some possible thanksgiving prayers.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]3. I noticed that a lot of the people were using a 1962 Roman Catholic Daily Missal, so I bought one. I have a method that works for now but is there a standard way you are supposed to use the multi-colored tassels?

Set one for the propers, and one to follow the Mass. If part of the Mass is taken from a common, set another there. Sometimes a fourth is helpful to leave on standard prayers you use, or possibly needed to mark another page to flip to.

There is no standard method. Use what you like and works for you.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]How am I to know what are my "duties and obligations" for my state of life? I am married with two kids, a boy (5yo) and a girl (2yo).

Your duties will include then being a good Catholic father and husband and whatever comes with that. Also you will want to be a good employee/employer.

Your duties are just those things which you must do to be good at whatever it is you are in a Catholic way.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]I have a crucifix over the front door to my house and hanging over my bed (both Benedictine crosses). My children have a cross, not a crucifix, over the door to their room, not over their bed (precious moments that says "Jesus Loves Me" my boy in blue, girl in pink. Given by their godmother, same woman).  Should I do more?

Do what you will, but I think you should generally be sober with the use of religious devotionals. Use them, but don't multiply them unnecessarily. Get good high-quality stuff when you do get it, and that will help your children see that the Faith is serious, and cheap plastic Rosaries are not the best we can offer God, even if they are not bad.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]I know on your main site pages a family altar is recommended, but I'm trying to tread lightly while my wife catches up. What subtle things can I add to the home? Candles, pictures, etc? What do I do with religious candles?

If you have a mantle or fireplace, set this up with a few nice high-quality pictures, or even pay to have someone paint a nice icon for you. I know a guy in Eastern Europe who makes some excellent icons for relatively cheap. Make the mantle look nice, get a pair of matching candles and a nice standing crucifix for the center. Perhaps you could find an old altar crucifix on eBay. Again, sober but beautiful and it won't disturb. Let your wife help.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]Growing up my parents did teach me a few things that I just want to make sure are truly good.
  a. Nodding your head every time you say "Jesus" in prayers
  b. kiss bibles before and after opening (my missal too?)
  c. kiss holy objects if they fall
  d. I used to watch my parents bless each other in the morning, they would touch the other persons body as if they were crossing for the other person. I started that with my family. Is this encouraged?

All of these are fine pious practices. None are necessary. Omit if it will cause people to mock or ridicule you or the Faith as a result.

In the liturgy, one nods his head and shoulders slightly (called a medium head bow) at Our Lord's name, the term Trinity, the Doxology "Glory be to the Father ..." or whenever all three Persons of the Trinity are mentioned. Also a slight head bow at Our Lady's name, and the Saint whose commemoration or feast is celebrated that day. The priest will do this at Mass, and it's good to do so as well at Mass or other liturgical services.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]The Baltimore Catechism has a part 1 through 4. What is the difference and which one should I get?

Part one is to prepare for First Communion and Confirmation. Young children to about 9-10 years old.

Part two is the same material but more in depth for those around Confirmation age or just after, about 10-12 years old.

Part three is the same material but even more in depth for young teenagers, about 13-16 years old.

Part four is an teacher's explanation of part three.

Get them according to purpose.


(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]9. My grandmother used to tell us about the three days of darkness. I found on one of your recommended sites a beeswax candle specifically for that end. Am I to prepare for this possibility?

The "three days of darkness" comes from a private revelation. It has no support from any part of Scripture or Church teaching. It is not wrong to believe in it, but there is no guarantee it is true. It is safer, in my opinion, to ignore this, because most people who promote it promote things which are problematic and non approved by the Church.

If it does happen, there is no point to keeping blessed candles, since all we need for our salvation to be in the State of Grace.

(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]When I first moved in with my wife, we were only dating (I've come a long way) and I said it didn't feel like my home. So she went out and bought me a big 22x16 Guinness Poster (my fav beer, back then I drank far too much of it). I would like to change it out. I found a picture I think would be fitting but I don't know if it might be too much for my wife. Also, it has words at the bottom in what I believe is Latin. Would anyone recommend this picture in the home and would you be able to tell me what it says?:

https://www.art.com/products/p3496146009...pi=PTLC2I0

The words look to be in French, but I cannot see them close enough to translate.

I don't see any problem with keeping the Guinness poster. It's good beer, and as Belloc once wrote :"

Where 'ere the Catholic sun doth shine
There's music and laughter and good red wine.
At least I've always found it so :
Benedicamus Domino (let us bless the Lord)

Nothing wrong with the beer or the poster.
6. This is what I have for an "altar"

It just takes some images or statues and a crucifix. Somewhere to pray[Image: 5d258b015d64804f4ad5b6eeb1c87f81.jpg]
I just added all four Baltimore Catechisms to the Domestic Church and Catholic Library pages if you want them in pdf form.
Thanks for posting! I am "new-er" to this forum and do not post too much, but am trying to change that.

I am extremely lucky to live about 15 minutes from an FSSP parish with another one 45 mins away, plus a Poor Clares monastery five minutes down the road.

Admittedly, I do not attend the TLM for Sunday Mass. I occasionally go to weekday Mass, and frequently confession at the closer FSSP parish because it is offered just about every day.

How was your former parish? Was it way too liberal, or was it reverent and orthodox?

My current parish is. . .OK. There aren't really too many novelties (aside from the occasional 'children's Mass' and very lopsided representation of female 'EMHCs'), but our pastor never addresses any difficult topics. It is very much a "God is love and mercy" message all the time. But the reason I stayed was to teach Catechism and try to serve as an example within the parish. Not sure what kind of effect it is having, but I felt it was more of my calling to help reinforce tradition at a NO parish than just abandon it altogether. However, that may change if something comes along like female deacons or whatever else the current regime tries to push through.
@richardmcshane3: Welcome back to the forum! :hello!:

(03-29-2019, 12:53 AM)Augustinian Wrote: [ -> ]6. This is what I have for an "altar"

It just takes some images or statues and a crucifix. Somewhere to pray[Image: 5d258b015d64804f4ad5b6eeb1c87f81.jpg]

This is nice. Simple, elegant, uncluttered, and fills its purpose.
(03-29-2019, 06:28 AM)Jeeter Wrote: [ -> ]@richardmcshane3: Welcome back to the forum! :hello!:

(03-29-2019, 12:53 AM)Augustinian Wrote: [ -> ]6. This is what I have for an "altar"

It just takes some images or statues and a crucifix. Somewhere to pray[Image: 5d258b015d64804f4ad5b6eeb1c87f81.jpg]

This is nice. Simple, elegant, uncluttered, and fills its purpose.
Thank you. It's what I can manage, and it's nice to have a nook to hide away from the family to pray. There's a Fatima statue that apparently was cut out of the pic too lol[Image: 86d5363a4074b6741bc0e658182e3728.jpg]
(03-29-2019, 05:49 AM)LionHippo Wrote: [ -> ]Thanks for posting! I am "new-er" to this forum and do not post too much, but am trying to change that.

I am extremely lucky to live about 15 minutes from an FSSP parish with another one 45 mins away, plus a Poor Clares monastery five minutes down the road.

Admittedly, I do not attend the TLM for Sunday Mass. I occasionally go to weekday Mass, and frequently confession at the closer FSSP parish because it is offered just about every day.

How was your former parish? Was it way too liberal, or was it reverent and orthodox?

My current parish is. . .OK. There aren't really too many novelties (aside from the occasional 'children's Mass' and very lopsided representation of female 'EMHCs'), but our pastor never addresses any difficult topics. It is very much a "God is love and mercy" message all the time. But the reason I stayed was to teach Catechism and try to serve as an example within the parish. Not sure what kind of effect it is having, but I felt it was more of my calling to help reinforce tradition at a NO parish than just abandon it altogether. However, that may change if something comes along like female deacons or whatever else the current regime tries to push through.
My parish I still technically belong to is as good a novus ordo as one could expect. We moved to the area soon after we were married and it's the first church we visited and we loved it from the start. Its pews are full every week with people of all ages. It's the reason it took me so long to decide to make the change. Also, it has a school attached to it, which my son will be enrolled for Kindergarten starting in the fall. They arent overly liberal and the area I live in is mostly Republican in a very blue state, so the priests don't really push anyone's buttons.

But there was always something missing for me. A void I could never seem to fill. When I finally went to an FSSP mass, I did go to a few Latin masses elsewhere, I finally found what I had been searching for. My wife is still attached to that parish, which makes things difficult, I sometimes end up going to both masses for her.

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(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]9. My grandmother used to tell us about the three days of darkness. I found on one of your recommended sites a beeswax candle specifically for that end. Am I to prepare for this possibility?

I don't think I have anything about the "three days of darkness" on the site, but candles for devotional purposes should ideally be 51% beeswax, and I mention that. There's a lot of symbolism in the purity of beeswax that's alluded to in the Easter Vigil, and the site has a page on the blessing of candles on Candlemas, and the use of candles in times of trouble in general.

There's also this page that might help you out: I'm Trad, But My Family Isn't. Help!
(03-29-2019, 04:21 PM)VoxClamantis Wrote: [ -> ]
(03-28-2019, 10:32 PM)richardmcshane3 Wrote: [ -> ]9. My grandmother used to tell us about the three days of darkness. I found on one of your recommended sites a beeswax candle specifically for that end. Am I to prepare for this possibility?

I don't think I have anything about the "three days of darkness" on the site, but candles for devotional purposes should ideally be 51% beeswax, and I mention that. There's a lot of symbolism in the purity of beeswax that's alluded to in the Easter Vigil, and the site has a page on the blessing of candles on Candlemas, and the use of candles in times of trouble in general.

There's also this page that might help you out: I'm Trad, But My Family Isn't. Help!

One reason I tend to poo-poo the "Three Days of Darkness" isn't because it might not be true, but the response most people have : the notion that if I have certain objects or devotions or this or that or the other thing I'll be safe, and this detracts from the necessity of growing deeper in one's Catholic Faith, the importance of a balance and normal moral life, the "one thing necessary" of Sanctifying Grace and the efficacy of actual graces.

The response tends to downplay the wisdom and fatherly care of God.

Candles are good. They are sacramentals, which means when blessed and used devotionally, they bring grace, but only according to the devotion of the one using. They're not "lucky charms".

It's a similar thing with the scapular. It's not a "get out of jail free card", but it's a means of growing in devotion to Our Lady and in that way protecting us. It also demands we say the Rosary and die in the State of Grace for any of the promises to work. I've met many who think that if they just wear it that somehow they can't fall into moral sin, or would be saved anyway.

This is why I try to encourage people not to focus on the more esoteric devotions, but firstly the liturgy, and devotions which look like the liturgy (like litanies, the Little Office of Our Lady, saying Prime and Compline as morning and evening prayers like the Third Council of Baltimore recommended).

If after one has developed and deepened his Faith in the core elements, he wants to explore the more esoteric, then this will help him to have a balance in it.

It's like the home altar or home decorations we've talked about here before. If sober and high-quality it's better than a bunch of cheap junky religious goods piled in a place in a messy manner. So to in the spiritual life. The sober and high-quality devotions, like Mass the Divine Office and the Rosary, ought to take pride of place, then add other devotions in a balanced manner.

Just my two cents.