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The problem I see with ecumenism nowadays is how many people misunderstand what it is. Tolerance does not mean "I agree with your positions or your lifestyle". Tolerance is about "putting up with" somebody's lifestyle or positions regardless how they feel about it. For instance, I can tolerate that my older sister is a lesbian atheist. That does not mean I accept lesbianism as a valid expression of sexuality. It does not mean I agree with her atheism. If she claims abortion is a women's right, it means I denounce that position in front of her and state it is murder. I do not have to drink in order to be in the presence of other drinkers.

This is what is problematic about ecumenism. Christians are attempting to mitigate differences between denominations in order to "find common ground". This is all good. Lutheranism and Anglicanism coincide closely. In their conservative variations, they even have several agreements with Catholicism and Orthodoxy. But if you only focus on similarities, then it must be asked why there are multiple denominations. I see it as a main problem in more pietistic denominations. Methodists saying that one can be wholly Christian and Pentecostal at the same time. Why then are the Methodists and Pentecostals two different denominations? If Methodist beliefs and Pentecostal beliefs are not so irreconcilable that both groups can be fully Christian, create one denomination.

So thence comes the differences. Ecumenism is not about finding common ground. It is about reconciling the differences and coming to agreement. Ecumenical councils were created not to find common ground but to settle the differences and expel the heretics. The Council of Nicaea expelled Arius. The Council of Ephesus expelled Nestorius. The Second Council of Nicaea expelled the iconoclasts. If ecumenism is about finding similarities, these weren't ecumenical councils. But it isn't. It's about establishing orthodoxy like setting up a camp ground. It's about rooting out false beliefs. One cannot have ecumenism without focusing on differences. Pentecostals practice adult baptism. Methodists baptize infants. Catholics have a high view of the sacraments. The Orthodox denounce the Pope and the theology of the Middle Ages.

There are reasons why we are divided. When we claim to be the true church, we don't do so because we feel that the other denominations are insufficient but still wholly truthful. We do so because it is so. But only focusing on similarities is a way to muddy waters and get us to forget that reality.
Ecumenism is mostly a 20th century phenomenon.  There was no such thing in the early Church. Even in Catholicism as late as when "Mortalium animos" came out it was condemned.  Only in the mid 20th century did it become sort of THE thing that bishops engaged in above that of evangelization or even tending their own flocks.  There is no such thing as good ecumenism. Its s modern heretical phenomenon.
Toleration is the temporary acceptance of an evil effect (despite the desire to remove it), because the common good is harmed more by the present removal of that evil.

In the OPs post, the lesbianism and atheism of the family member are both evil things, but totally cutting this person off might have the effect not of helping them see these evils for what they are, but rather pushing them to become bitter and hardened in their evils. Thus, their evil might be tolerated and not frequently spoken of with the hope of winning them over by a good example and peaceful demeanor.

There is a reason that two very different schemas were proposed at Vatican II on non-Catholic religions.

The schema prepared by the CDF/Holy Office by Cardinal Ottaviani and approved by the Central Preparatory Commission was called De Tolerentia. (On Tolerance)

The schema which replaced it after the liberals got all of the preparatory work thrown out was written by Cardinal Bea and called De Liberitate Religiosa. (On Religious Liberty)

The later (among other documents) is what false ecumenism is based. It is not an effort to tolerate an evil, but celebrate falsity and put false religions on the same level as the truth.