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Full Version: My wife apologized, yet it still really hurts
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All my life I’ve felt close to the Blessed Virgin Mary, feeling a special love for her throughout my life. Recently I discovered the *Scapular* and discovered how satisfying it was getting enrolled and how complimentary pleasing it is to my rosary obsession wearing it, it’s as if I was meant for it. My wife is Protestant., the morning after my enrolment (Not really paying attention much to what I say) came downstairs while I was working out and said...

‘You went to bed with that?, so now you're going to wear that ugly square thing for the rest of your life?' 

It is extremely exhausting being married to an insensitive person. I feel like turning the other cheek achieves nothing. I confronted her later on and she acted like she hasn’t said anything that wrong. Ugh!
It’s like way to go and attach a sad memory to it.
I'm sorry to hear that.

Have you told her (directly) how much it means? Our wives might know us better than anyone else, but they still don't read minds.
(02-28-2021, 11:55 PM)ChairmanJoeAintMyPresident Wrote: [ -> ]I'm sorry to hear that.

Have you told her (directly) how much it means?  Our wives might know us better than anyone else, but they still don't read minds.

well turns out, I guess not well enough.
I would have said "Yep, you want one?" But I realize that this may not work for you. By and by I would mention the fascinating history.

If a person is insensitive, you have to mentally adapt some of what they say, or your response to it. You have to frame in your mind some harmless way it can mean for you. For example all it really means is that she doesn't appreciate sacramentals, and the whole Catholic way of accepting Revelation.

Recall to mind the Beatitudes. Blessed are you when...

Also recall to mind the Little Flower! She was reputed to be of good cheer in a wide variety of circumstances.
https://youtu.be/cq4PfGMTtrU?t=613
Mary is a big part of my life too. Perhaps now your wife is beginning to understand how much Mary means to you, and to respect that.

I'd hide a green scapular somewhere. Mary gives graces and belief for those in contact with this sacramental.

Anyway congratulations on your enrollment..
🙏
(03-01-2021, 12:17 AM)AnaCarolina1 Wrote: [ -> ]Mary is a big part of my life too. Perhaps now your wife is beginning to understand how much Mary means to you, and to respect that.

I'd hide a green scapular somewhere. Mary gives graces and belief for those in contact with this sacramental.

Anyway congratulations on your enrollment..
🙏

Thank you, That’s an excellent idea! Truth be told I’ve been praying for her conversion ‘that they may be one’ and she’s already agreed to have our daughter baptized in my church and every once in a while asks questions about the church during dinner; which is an example of curiosity but if you were to get to the point she’d deny it. Adonai works in mysterious ways!
You could always try the Miraculous Medal for her conversion it worked for Alphonse Rattisbone.
This page might help you out some. I hope so, anyway: https://www.fisheaters.com/nontradfamily.html
(02-28-2021, 11:50 PM)Machabeus Wrote: [ -> ]All my life I’ve felt close to the Blessed Virgin Mary, feeling a special love for her throughout my life. Recently I discovered the *Scapular* and discovered how satisfying it was getting enrolled and how complimentary pleasing it is to my rosary obsession wearing it, it’s as if I was meant for it. My wife is Protestant., the morning after my enrolment (Not really paying attention much to what I say) came downstairs while I was working out and said...

‘You went to bed with that?, so now you're going to wear that ugly square thing for the rest of your life?' 

It is extremely exhausting being married to an insensitive person. I feel like turning the other cheek achieves nothing. I confronted her later on and she acted like she hasn’t said anything that wrong. Ugh!
It’s like way to go and attach a sad memory to it.
You should keep praying. Pray until your teeth fall out, especially for your wife, not just for yourself. You have said that she’s insensitive and that you’re suffering. Think of her suffering forever in eternity in hell. That’s way worse than what you’re feeling right now. I know it’s difficult to imagine. I’m married to a Jewish guy (I came back to the church in 2017 after 40 yrs away) and my husband doesn’t even believe in God as in the God of Jacob and Moses and Elias. Fortunately he does love going to beautiful Catholic churches and he loves Assisi and the cell of St. Thomas Aquinas in Naples. I pray for him every single day because I know hell is so terrible that you wouldn’t wish it on your worst enemy. Miracles happen all the time. This month pray to Saint Joseph. He’s a totally amazing Saint. He really delivers.
It hurts me to hear this. I’m very sorry that your wife is so insensitive. I’m not trying to jump to her defense, but I will say that sometimes we women speak our minds without realizing how much it hurts our husbands. I had a similar problem. I used to just speak aloud whatever was on my mind, filtered or not, and didn’t realize how deeply it hurt my husband. I only came around because my husband was honest with me and telling me how much it hurt him. If your wife truly loves you, she will understand how much her insensitive words hurt you, and she will stop, or at least make a serious effort to change her behavior.

I don’t know how long you have been married, but it is also sadly possible that your wife is just an insensitive person in general, and no matter what you say, she will hold it against you, deny any wrongdoing, and refuse to change. Sadly, I know a lot of women like this, and they sabotage their own marriages and destroy the very man they have pledged to love for the rest of their lives. The poison of feminism runs deep in nearly every woman’s heart. It takes time, patience, and humility for the woman to realize and accept that her behavior is wrong and change it. Very sadly, many women never get to this point. It is only by the grace of God and I was able to realize how selfish I was being in my marriage, and correct it.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it seems from the limited information you gave in your post that it is possible your wife has an alpha personality. If you also have an alpha personality, it can cause great conflict in your marriage. They properly ordered way of course, is to have an alpha male and a beta female. However, feminism and our modern culture have conditioned women to become alphas, to be combative and controlling, and never take no for an answer. Alpha women are extremely difficult to be married to, so if this is indeed the case with your wife, you have my deepest sympathy and prayers.

I wish I had more advice to give you, but as a woman, I know how stubborn women can be and how resistant we are to change, especially when it comes to our behavior in our marriage. We have been conditioned by the culture to believe that women can do no wrong, and that everything is always the husband’s fault. It is truly a severe form of penance to be married to a woman like this. However, there is a bright side to this, even though it may not be necessarily pleasant. This is a great opportunity for you to purify your love for Christ through suffering. Furthermore, think of it this way; God is giving you an opportunity to live out your Purgatory on Earth, a gift that He only gives to His most beloved sons.

You have my prayers, and of course this forum will always be here to support you. I wish I could help you more. God bless.
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