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When I married many years ago, I wanted to have a big family.   But I only have one child, and we are infertile.

I'm living in Arizona and thought about adopting a child or two from Foster care.

So I'm jumping through the hoops.   

The lady working with us is very forthright, and I appreciate that.

She sent me three profiles of what I could expect.    OWCH.   These kids are really in bad shape.

I mean they're psychotic.    Serious mental issues, violent, sexual acting out.

Maybe I'm not meant for this. 

I wanted so much to have a large family, but I can't handle psychopaths.
Don't kick yourself for being unable or unwilling to take a kid with tons of problems into your home. You have to worry first of all about the effects of all that on the child you already have.
I’m sorry you’re going through this, BobCatholic. Please do not feel guilty about not thinking you can handle caring for kids with severe mental issues. It is certainly not for everyone, and God only gives us what we can handle and expects no more of us than that.

With that being said, I read your post today with a certain sense of irony, because I am currently concerned that I may be pregnant, even though my husband and I were strictly following the protocols for our particular method of NFP. I already have a 19-month-old and a five-month-old, and the thought of having another child right now is truly terrifying. I’m currently wrangling with the thought of, if I truly am pregnant, whether or not I could stand giving up one of my children for adoption. I know that I could find a willing couple since infants are so hard to find if you’re looking to adopt.

I didn’t mean to derail the post, but I do marvel at how God gives different people so many different and difficult problems. Here you are, desperate for a healthy child, and we have two and definitely don’t want a third…life is cruelly unfair. God bless you, you will be in my prayers.


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I adopted what would have been classified as special needs children if they had come from American foster care.  Instead, they came from Russia.  Adoption is not easy.  It is messy, hard, and exhausting.  Do what you think you can handle and don't feel badly about it.  I cried every day of the first year our kids were home.  I was tired, overwhelmed and sick.  Then God gave us another baby - this time I was pregnant and I didn't think it could happen.  I went from one 18-year old daughter to 4 children ages 4 and under in the space of a year.  It was quite the interesting year. :)
Thanks for the responses.

I'd go for one of those international or domestic adoptions, but those would be horrifically expensive for us. Yes, I know about the $10K tax credit, but that doesn't play into my calculations.

I even asked the lady about abandoned babies (like someone dumping a baby at the fire station, because we have a safe haven law) she said there was only 1 in all of last year and there were 20 families qualified for it.

One reason I was going for adoptions from foster care was because of the low to no cost.