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Full Version: Incredibly rowdy 3 year old, can't do anything..
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Alright more veteran parents...I need help. My son is three and is just an absolute terror at the moment. We, as a family, can't get anything accomplished. We can't do anything inside the home or outside the home. Just today(as just one example!) we were unable to even get him dressed, couldn't convince him to even go outside - not even to the playground at the Church, a place he generally enjoys being. He just wants to be at home and either play with his toys or watch something on his tablet. 

Maybe I'm just a naïve parent of one who is ranting about things that are so common that this will come off as humorous to others but this is so frustrating. We obviously couldn't make it to Mass today because he was just so determined to do nothing.

Sigh
Step 1. Get RID of the tablet, and keep him away from screens.

Step 2. Get RID of the tablet, and keep him away from screens.

Step 3. Get RID of the tablet, and keep him away from screens.

Step 4.  After his mind has re-wired from video action and quick cuts, teach him to read and to otherwise entertain himself. (Use phonics! I recommend "The Victory Drill Book")

Step 5. Use the carrot and the stick. You want him to get dressed, tell him if he gets dressed within 5 minutes, he can have a pancake or whatever, and that if he doesn't, he gets time out for X minutes. If he does the right thing, reward him quickly. If he doesn't, set a timer for X min. Explain to him why he's in time out, for how long, and that he's to sit there until the timer goes off. When he's in time out, make him finish it and don't say a word to him or let him play with toys, etc. Absolutely no talking from either of you. He faces a corner and sits quietly. If he gets up, say nothing, pick him up and put him back on the time out chair, restarting the timer each time.  When time out is over, talk to him about what he can do so he never gets put in time out again. Hug him, etc.

Step 6. If the above fails, use force -- the least amount of force necessary -- to make him do what he needs to do. Explain to him what he needs to do as you go about it, keep your emotions in check. Be firm and in control as gently as possible. Right now, he's the boss of your house, even "letting" you or not "letting" you attend Mass. Gotta be nipped. Don't be afraid of him "hating" you or being angry. He'll respect it later as long as you're fair and consistent and don't get your emotions tangled up in it all. Make sure you and your husband are 100% consistent with each other when it comes to discipline; don't argue about what to do in front of the kid. Don't let the kid play one parent against another. Don't set up a situation in which one parents is "the fun parent," and the other is "the mean one."
It sounds like he's ruling the roost 


Tablets, although an easy way out, will make life harder in the future
They are terribly addictive and not good for a child.

You need to make a chart of your daily routine 
A chart for behaviour too, if he has a good day he will get a tick , enough ticks a reward.
What Vox said.  Get.  Rid.  Of.  The.  Tablet!  And then do the rest of what she suggested.
Everything Vox said .... and then I would establish predictable routines.  Kids thrive with structure and knowing what comes next.  I haven't always been great about this but I recognize how important it is and notice how poorly things go without it.  

Bedtime was always important to me so the kids always knew:  dinner, clean up/quiet playtime, bath, stories, prayers, lights out.  Our bedtime ran very smoothly for years.  (Until we had teens but that is a whole other post.  LOL)

If you can manage the same wake time, breakfast, snacks, lunch, dinner and bedtime - that is a good place to start.  Little to no tech, lots of outside time and creative play, and lots of stories.  And lots of prayers by the parents.   Hang in there.  Three can be a delightful age.  They are so curious and interested in things.  When they don't have a digital babysitter, they have so much wonder, excitement and creativity.  

We just moved into a new house and I haven't set up the TV.  It has been almost 2 weeks.  My kids have stopped asking and I am in no hurry.  It can be a painful few days but once they don't have that option- they find things to do.
As a parent and grandparent, I can tell you that you have come to the realization of the old adage: "Its like arguing with a three-year-old."

And decidedly YA!! Get rid of the screens. ALL of them, computers TV, all of it and only allow the very least, well supervised, exposure to these devices. They are hypnotic traps, especially for the kids, but it applies to all humans...even a few cats and dogs. The tube (etal) are designed to captivate your attention and they are alarmingly efficient.
+1 for getting rid of the tablet.
I don't mean to sound overly critical, but no 3 year old needs or should have access to a tablet or any other similar electronic device.  They are highly addictive, mind-numbing, and anti-social.
(01-10-2022, 05:15 PM)J Michael Wrote: [ -> ]I don't mean to sound overly critical, but no 3 year old needs or should have access to a tablet or any other similar electronic device.  They are highly addictive, mind-numbing, and anti-social.
I guess I could say the same but to be honest the computer is the one place besides the john where people will not disturb me. : / 

Not to mention...i just want to listen to music really I do play video games, but music is something else that is hard to part with as it would either require me to get an Ipod or something to bring music with me or CD's or something like that. Games can get tiring, but music my my. I have a radio/cd player in my room, but I have no good CD's I want to play, and some artists only have their stuff online. I wish I was more tech savvy with my stuff. Also another problem although strange...is my brother. I love my brother...but I can't stand his playing his Trumpet at full pitch most of the time. Sometimes I like it. Even with full volume up on the computer, his music bleeds through. : /


I just like music...all kinds. It blocks out the world for me often.
But you're also not 3 years old.
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