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Seeking best friend - Apply within - Matthew_R - 01-24-2010

Sex: Male

Age as of posting date: 30

Birthdate: September 14th, 1979

Patron Saint by Confirmation: St. Benedict
     
Number of children (e.g. born from: former valid marriage that ended in death of spouse; invalid marriage; rape; past sins, etc. No need to enter details here! Just list number of children you care for): None.
     
Location: New Mexico, North Carolina and Virginia, depending on what's going on at the moment
     
Would you relocate if you met the right person? Yes

EF, SSPX, both, or other? FSSP & SSPX depending on location

Novus Ordo if that's all there is? I've been advised against it, but will have to prayerfully consider the circumstances

Introvert or extravert? Extravert with a few introvert tendencies

Keirsey personality type: ESFJ
     
Ethnic heritage: European American

Is meeting someone of like ethnicity very important to you, just a bonus, or unimportant? Unimportant

Is there an ideal age range for the person you'd like to marry? How important is this? I would prefer someone in the 20 to 30 age range, but that isn't set in stone.

In what manner do you interpret the Church's approval of NFP? I am ok with it as long as it is used to promote conception and not used as a means of contraception(i.e. use it to conceive instead of avoiding)

What would the headship of the husband look like in your idea home?  The husband is both the spiritual and physical head of the family, that being said, marriage is a joint venture and the wife must be a part of decisions made and should not be treated as some second class citizen.

How do you feel about women working outside the home? I understand things happen that may lead a woman to work outside the home, but if the family lives simply and frugally then this should be able to be avoided.

How do you feel about women in pants?
I don't have a serious issue with women in pants, though I do prefer a woman wearing a dress or skirt.

Of the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, gluttony, sloth, lust, anger, envy), which is the most challenging for you? Lust.

What would others say are your annoying habits or bothersome attributes? I sometimes talk more than I should.

What are the most important things you desire in a spouse? Honesty, affectionate, able to communicate(at least able to talk to someone as a friend) and last but by no means least, maturity(or at least seriously working on it.)

Things you absolutely would not tolerate in a potential spouse: Dishonesty, lack of communication, immaturity that allows divisive people and attitudes into the relationship.

What, if anything, have you learned from past relationships with the opposite sex? I have learned patience and understanding as well as sincere and true forgiveness from previous relationships, as well as that I am a gifted writer when I have someone to write to(at least someone whom I have a little something in common with).

Political ideals: Very Conservative

Education: High school grad

Employment:  Truck driver

Allergies: Cigarette smoke, rye grass, penicillin

Smoke? I used to smoke a pipe, but haven't in quite a while now.

Drink? I drink in moderation, generally a glass of wine or a couple beers.

Night owl or morning lark? Night owl. I am not a morning person, but I do manage. I tend to like to work through the night, more so than during the day because of traffic.

How messy or disorganized are you? I can be both organized and neat, but am typically disorganized.

What makes you laugh? I am easily amused

What are the little things that please or delight you? A nice home cooked meal, a good conversation, coming home to someone who cares.

What would you like to be doing in 10 years ideally? If you continue on your present course and don't meet the person of your dreams, what do you think you actually will be doing  given your gifts and goals? In ten years I hope to be the loving and devoted husband I'm supposed to be as well as raising a handful of children 
 
Intellectual interests: Conservative politics and Catholic philosophy

Hobbies: Amateur radio, marksmanship(both long gun and handgun), reading and traveling

Talents: what are you good at? I am a decent enough writer on a personal level and I can barbeque a mean beef brisket, I am also mechanically gifted(changing the oil in a car along with most minor automobile problems, minor household issues as well.)

Top 5 Favorite books of all time:
This Tremendous Lover - Dom Eugene Boylan, O.C.S.O.
The Story of a Soul - St. Terese of Liseux
Saints at Prayer - Raymond E.F. Larsson
Introduction to the Devout Life - St. Francis De Sales
The Rule of St. Benedict



Music you actually listen to most often: Classical, Country, Pop, some alternative rock

Favorite movies/TV shows: 24, Law & Order:SVU, I might watch these shows sometimes, but generally prefer not to even be in the same room with a TV that is turned on.

Favorite foods: Most country cooking is good with me. I like cajun as well, having discovered a favorite dish in Louisiana called crawfish pie. I love barbeque brisket and cook that myself sometimes.

Serious pet peeves: Dishonest and immature people

Pets you have, pets you desire, pets you'd put up with:
I don't have any, but am not opposed to pets.

Idea of a romantic evening:
I think this varies with the couple. Dinner and a walk would be nice, or a nice chat at home or any number of things that are permitted between unmarried people.

[Image: downsized_IMG_6577.jpg]


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - BrevisVir55 - 01-24-2010

Best of luck to ya!  :pray:


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - JayneK - 01-24-2010

Matthew, I recommend you wait for a year before trying again.  Being on the rebound starts your new relationship off with one strike against it.  It is hard enough to make relationships work without adding this handicap.  Let your heart heal for a while. 


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - Matthew_R - 01-24-2010

(01-24-2010, 04:09 PM)JayneK Wrote: Matthew, I recommend you wait for a year before trying again.  Being on the rebound starts your new relationship off with one strike against it.  It is hard enough to make relationships work without adding this handicap.  Let your heart heal for a while. 

Well, I think I want and need friends, good tradition minded friends first and should someone decide they want to be more than that at some point, then I'm all in favor. I went to Confession and Holy Mass this morning, after missing last week and almost losing my Faith completely and realize that if I have nobody else, I'll always have our Lord and Lady there with me to help me through. I would love to meet new people and make friends on here and then we'll see about the romantic stuff later. I'm not rushing anything. Thanks for the advice, you have been a big help, even if I haven't said much, just being there is more than many have done(That goes for all my other friends here on F.E. as well).


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - JayneK - 01-24-2010

(01-24-2010, 04:30 PM)Matthew_R Wrote: Well, I think I want and need friends, good tradition minded friends first and should someone decide they want to be more than that at some point, then I'm all in favor. I went to Confession and Holy Mass this morning, after missing last week and almost losing my Faith completely and realize that if I have nobody else, I'll always have our Lord and Lady there with me to help me through. I would love to meet new people and make friends on here and then we'll see about the romantic stuff later. I'm not rushing anything. Thanks for the advice, you have been a big help, even if I haven't said much, just being there is more than many have done(That goes for all my other friends here on F.E. as well).

You're welcome.  There is nothing wrong with focussing on friendship and taking things slow, even for people who aren't on the rebound.  It's a good way to go about this.


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - lonewanderer - 01-24-2010

Good luck. Having your heart tore apart makes it hard to even consider trying again at times. When you truly loved someone it never really goes completely away.
Strong, quick loves where you consider and talk about marriage around six months or less are some of the strongest relationships you can have. They also are sadly the most susceptible to falling apart due to the couple not learning to how to handle difficulties together. The same issues that are usually just a hiccup in some relationships can rip apart a quick one.
It is not about how fast you start or move forward in a relationship, it is about how willing you are to work though difficulties.
I don't believe there is a rebound period just a rebound intent. If you proceed with the right intent that is what matters.


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again - Walty - 01-24-2010

I don't really know very much about your situation, but I wouldn't recommend waiting a year.  Certainly it can take a very long time to get over things, but a year is a bit long (unless you've been dating for years and years, and even then...).

There is no magic formula.  Of course you should give yourself some time to recuperate, but only you can know how long that'll take.  Sometimes specific circumstances make the "getting over" phase happen pretty quickly and definitively.  Just make sure that any hurt feelings are properly reflected upon and that your decisions with another person won't be overly affected by any feelings still hanging around from previous experiences.  But if you wait until you completely feel nothing you might be waiting for awhile.  It seems to me that beginning to see someone else (eventually) can be a good and healthy way to moving on with your life.


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - Matthew_R - 01-24-2010

I want to say again, thank you to everyone for the support, tips, suggestions and so on. I think everyone needs friends, and more than one at that. I guess I'm looking for my best friend, though I am sure she'll come along when I least expect her.

I'm not a picky person and there are only a few things I even want out of a relationship, other than a family which I believe anyone looking at marriage should and has to want. Those include someone whom I can talk to about anything and nothing all the same, someone who will talk to me when something is bothering her or just to tell me how her day went or anything else for that matter. Even more importantly than that, I want someone who will walk together with me in the Faith, someone to pray with(especially the Rosary), someone to go to Benediction with(awesome experience if you've never been) as well as going to Holy Mass.

I have a slight introverted side, though for the most part I am the typical Sanguine, people person. I like to go out and have a good time, but can be a homebody as well depending on circumstances. I'm not a big drinker, though I do sometimes. I take work very seriously, but only as a means of providing for myself and hopefully at some point my wife and children. I am a work in progress, certainly not perfect, but following the guide we've been given in the Holy Scriptures along with the Rule of St. Benedict and the lives of many countless Saints that have gone on before us, I am striving towards that final goal. I guess my thing is I just don't want to do it alone anymore and sometimes, many times I do need help.


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - CanadianCatholic - 01-25-2010

MathewR, I wouldnt worry about waiting too long. When God sends you the one, it doesnt matter when. My DH was with his ex for 5 yrs (not married), and had a child with her. I met him just a few short months after they broke up, we were married within a year and a half!


Re: Looking for a Traditional Catholic Lady (20-30) (I'm going to try this again) - Matthew_R - 01-25-2010

(01-25-2010, 11:52 AM)CanadianCatholic Wrote: MathewR, I wouldnt worry about waiting too long. When God sends you the one, it doesnt matter when. My DH was with his ex for 5 yrs (not married), and had a child with her. I met him just a few short months after they broke up, we were married within a year and a half!

I'm learning patience and a whole lot more now. I am taking the time to delve into the Holy Rule of St. Benedict, who is my patron and learning not to live as a monk, but to live a faithful Christian life and from there everything will happen according to Almighty God's most perfect will and in His time.