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Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Printable Version

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Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - ermy_law - 12-16-2015

I agree with DJR and everyone else who has said similar things. 

You need to also consider this: Confession isn't magical.  In order to be absolved when you get around to going to Confession, you have to actually be repentant for your sins.  Obviously, I don't know you, but from what you've written here, it sounds as if you don't really see the problem with what you're doing, but you have agreed to go along with what the priest says.  Before you go to Confession, I think you need to spend some time truly examining the nature of the ongoing sin that you are choosing to engage in and come to an understanding of the fact that it is, in fact, sinful.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Might_4_Right - 12-17-2015

All looks Kosher to me, Matt1992. Nither one of you are under the curse of mortal sin.
Congratuations! on you wifes Pregnancy. When is she do.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - dcmaccabees - 12-17-2015

(12-17-2015, 03:17 AM)Might_4_Right Wrote: All looks Kosher to me, Matt1992. Nither one of you are under the curse of mortal sin.
Congratuations! on you wifes Pregnancy. When is she do.

I expect that you'll take this as my being too harsh, but you are in no position to comment on the state of either Matt1992 or his fiance's souls.  None of us here are. The single human being who would could comment on this has done so: their confessor.  i suspect that if Matt were to ask Father, his response would revolve around the "making out a bit" in the mornings.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - ermy_law - 12-17-2015

It was mentioned earlier and bears repeating at this point:

Voluntarily remaining in a near occasion of sin can be a mortal sin.

Based on the information that we have been given, this seems to be the case here, objectively speaking.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Matt1992 - 12-18-2015

(12-16-2015, 12:51 PM)Catlick Wrote:
Quote:We are trying to have our wedding sooner because it's been extremely frustrating and difficult for us to not be able to have conjugal relations,

Why not seeing it as an exercise in chastity? If you both want a Catholic marriage life (i.e. no contraception), you'll have to acquire the virtue of chastity. Consider it a training school.

We definitely want a Catholic marriage, so of course we aren't going to use contraception. We're going to space children with abstinence and NFP, but abstinence will probably not be quite as much of a struggle as it is now (as a newly legally married couple). So you're right, it is a training ground for our chastity.



Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Matt1992 - 12-18-2015

(12-16-2015, 04:56 PM)ermy_law Wrote: I agree with DJR and everyone else who has said similar things. 

You need to also consider this: Confession isn't magical.  In order to be absolved when you get around to going to Confession, you have to actually be repentant for your sins.  Obviously, I don't know you, but from what you've written here, it sounds as if you don't really see the problem with what you're doing, but you have agreed to go along with what the priest says.  Before you go to Confession, I think you need to spend some time truly examining the nature of the ongoing sin that you are choosing to engage in and come to an understanding of the fact that it is, in fact, sinful.

My wife/fiancee and I actually felt really remorseful and repentant over fornicating after getting civilly married. We don't know what we were thinking (and we made that decision really fast while we were emotional). We honestly don't see what's that sinful about living together in our civil marriage when we're not having intercourse.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Matt1992 - 12-18-2015

(12-17-2015, 01:14 PM)dcmaccabees Wrote:
(12-17-2015, 03:17 AM)Might_4_Right Wrote: All looks Kosher to me, Matt1992. Nither one of you are under the curse of mortal sin.
Congratuations! on you wifes Pregnancy. When is she do.

I expect that you'll take this as my being too harsh, but you are in no position to comment on the state of either Matt1992 or his fiance's souls.  None of us here are. The single human being who would could comment on this has done so: their confessor.  i suspect that if Matt were to ask Father, his response would revolve around the "making out a bit" in the mornings.

He thinks that even if we didn't touch one another but were cohabiting then we would still be in a state of mortal sin. We're definitely not making out in an overtly sexual way, it's just that once we wake up we usually kiss somewhat passionately for a few minutes (this keeps us intimate and releases the pent-up passion we feel for each other), we're both completely clothed and I'm not feeling her up or anything, so I don't see how that could be a mortal sin.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Poche - 12-18-2015

(12-18-2015, 12:43 AM)Matt1992 Wrote:
(12-17-2015, 01:14 PM)dcmaccabees Wrote:
(12-17-2015, 03:17 AM)Might_4_Right Wrote: All looks Kosher to me, Matt1992. Nither one of you are under the curse of mortal sin.
Congratuations! on you wifes Pregnancy. When is she do.

I expect that you'll take this as my being too harsh, but you are in no position to comment on the state of either Matt1992 or his fiance's souls.  None of us here are. The single human being who would could comment on this has done so: their confessor.  i suspect that if Matt were to ask Father, his response would revolve around the "making out a bit" in the mornings.

He thinks that even if we didn't touch one another but were cohabiting then we would still be in a state of mortal sin. We're definitely not making out in an overtly sexual way, it's just that once we wake up we usually kiss somewhat passionately for a few minutes (this keeps us intimate and releases the pent-up passion we feel for each other), we're both completely clothed and I'm not feeling her up or anything, so I don't see how that could be a mortal sin.

I would recommend that either you or she find a temporary separate residence until your marital situation is straightened out.
:) :) :)


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Matt1992 - 12-18-2015

(12-18-2015, 12:48 AM)Poche Wrote:
(12-18-2015, 12:43 AM)Matt1992 Wrote:
(12-17-2015, 01:14 PM)dcmaccabees Wrote:
(12-17-2015, 03:17 AM)Might_4_Right Wrote: All looks Kosher to me, Matt1992. Nither one of you are under the curse of mortal sin.
Congratuations! on you wifes Pregnancy. When is she do.

I expect that you'll take this as my being too harsh, but you are in no position to comment on the state of either Matt1992 or his fiance's souls.  None of us here are. The single human being who would could comment on this has done so: their confessor.  i suspect that if Matt were to ask Father, his response would revolve around the "making out a bit" in the mornings.

He thinks that even if we didn't touch one another but were cohabiting then we would still be in a state of mortal sin. We're definitely not making out in an overtly sexual way, it's just that once we wake up we usually kiss somewhat passionately for a few minutes (this keeps us intimate and releases the pent-up passion we feel for each other), we're both completely clothed and I'm not feeling her up or anything, so I don't see how that could be a mortal sin.

I would recommend that either you or she find a temporary separate residence until your marital situation is straightened out.
:) :) :)

I've considered asking my parents to give me the money to rent her a separate apartment until we're married in the Church, but we really don't like that idea. She is pregnant with my child, and it's a very difficult thought to not be able to live and sleep together (especially for her, she really doesn't want to live/sleep separately). I don't get why God gave us this strong connection when it's a mortal sin to just sleep in the same bed.


Re: Receiving Eucharist while cohabiting/sleeping together in civil marriage - Matt1992 - 12-18-2015

(12-16-2015, 10:30 AM)PrairieMom Wrote:
(12-16-2015, 04:24 AM)Matt1992 Wrote: Our families think of us as husband and wife so there's nothing embarrassing about her being pregnant at our wedding. [...] the priest said he can give us a wedding either in mid-January or our original date, and my parents insist that's not enough time for them to prepare.

This seem contradictory. What are your parents preparing for? If they already consider you spouses, I fail to see the problem here.

I would respectfully suggest, for the sake of your immortal souls, to clear up this situation as soon as humanly possible. I speak that as someone who was 3 months pregnant and cohabitating when they got married.

My parents are preparing for a huge wedding with a ton of guests. My mom is totally obsessed with weddings and wants everything to be perfect. We didn't even tell our parents about our civil marriage until after we were married (we totally eloped). We are going to do everything we can to get married ASAP, because we just want to be together without also being in a state of mortal sin.