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As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - Printable Version

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As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - FultonFan - 01-24-2019

Recently I’ve made some mistakes in my job, enough so that my manager has had to discuss the matters with me.  Thankfully, my manager is fairly patient; although she definitely demands excellence, and a very close attention to detail in handling the various files (as she should).  However, I must admit that she stresses me out rather badly, especially knowing you’re being micromanaged.

So, here’s really what I’m asking: when you put forth your best efforts — and yet, fail — how do you seek consolation?  I know that a career is only there to support my wife and children, and that a career is a mere CREATURE; yet, I take my job seriously, and failure just makes me question everything about my competence to the point of obsession.

Any counsel out there?


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life?th - SeekerofChrist - 01-24-2019

When I fail at something in my job, I ask myself "why did I fail at this task?" and then, "now, what can I do to avoid repeating this failure in the future?"  I don't know anyone who can perform a job without some failures or mistakes from time to time.  You're only human, so the best you can do is use any professional failures as an opportunity for learning and improvement.  I know that might sound like a cliche and corny, but it is true.  So, I'd say, ask how you can avoid repeating these failures and go from there.  Don't beat yourself up.  Some mistakes and failures don't equal incompetence.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life?th - FultonFan - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 05:50 PM)SeekerofChrist Wrote: When I fail at something in my job, I ask myself "why did I fail at this task?" and then, "now, what can I do to avoid repeating this failure in the future?"  I don't know anyone who can perform a job without some failures or mistakes from time to time.  You're only human, so the best you can do is use any professional failures as an opportunity for learning and improvement.  I know that might sound like a cliche and corny, but it is true.  So, I'd say, ask how you can avoid repeating these failures and go from there.  Don't beat yourself up.  Some mistakes and failures don't equal incompetence.

Thanks brother that’s a great response.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - havok579257 - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 05:42 PM)FultonFan Wrote: Recently I’ve made some mistakes in my job, enough so that my manager has had to discuss the matters with me.  Thankfully, my manager is fairly patient; although she definitely demands excellence, and a very close attention to detail in handling the various files (as she should).  However, I must admit that she stresses me out rather badly, especially knowing you’re being micromanaged.

So, here’s really what I’m asking: when you put forth your best efforts — and yet, fail — how do you seek consolation?  I know that a career is only there to support my wife and children, and that a career is a mere CREATURE; yet, I take my job seriously, and failure just makes me question everything about my competence to the point of obsession.

Any counsel out there?

you have children I take it.  what would you advise them to do come high school when they try out for a sports team or an extra curricular team, try their hardest but still fail to make the team?  this will come up with your children even if they don't play sports.  just imagine them not doing good in a specific school class and they tried and studied so hard and still just managed to get a c-.  what would you say to them.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - FultonFan - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 06:36 PM)havok579257 Wrote:
(01-24-2019, 05:42 PM)FultonFan Wrote: Recently I’ve made some mistakes in my job, enough so that my manager has had to discuss the matters with me.  Thankfully, my manager is fairly patient; although she definitely demands excellence, and a very close attention to detail in handling the various files (as she should).  However, I must admit that she stresses me out rather badly, especially knowing you’re being micromanaged.

So, here’s really what I’m asking: when you put forth your best efforts — and yet, fail — how do you seek consolation?  I know that a career is only there to support my wife and children, and that a career is a mere CREATURE; yet, I take my job seriously, and failure just makes me question everything about my competence to the point of obsession.

Any counsel out there?

you have children I take it.  what would you advise them to do come high school when they try out for a sports team or an extra curricular team, try their hardest but still fail to make the team?  this will come up with your children even if they don't play sports.  just imagine them not doing good in a specific school class and they tried and studied so hard and still just managed to get a c-.  what would you say to them.

I have a three year old son and a daughter on the way.
If they “tried their best” and got a C- I’d have to question whether or not they tried their best.
Is that what you’re trying to tell me?  That I’m not actually doing my best?


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - MaryTN - 01-24-2019

I don't think the C- comparison is what you are thinking.
.
Did you do your best?
How did you make the mistake?
Do you now understand the mistake?
Good.  Then don't make that mistake again.
.
That is all.
.
Some children struggle with certain subjects.  Some children are just not good at school.  Some children are not intelligent.  So, for that child a C- might really be the best grade they can get.  I doubt that you are not good at your job or not intelligent enough to learn from your mistake.  Yes, some children get bad grades because they don't try hard enough but that is clearly not how things are with you.  So, learn from your mistake, don't keep beating yourself up, and carry on.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - Bombero - 01-24-2019

Change jobs. Or if that doesn’t work, change your line of work. If that doesn’t work, start your own business.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - MagisterMusicae - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 05:42 PM)FultonFan Wrote: Recently I’ve made some mistakes in my job, enough so that my manager has had to discuss the matters with me.  Thankfully, my manager is fairly patient; although she definitely demands excellence, and a very close attention to detail in handling the various files (as she should).  However, I must admit that she stresses me out rather badly, especially knowing you’re being micromanaged.

Demanding excellence is intrinsically opposed to micromanaging. A good manager who wants their workers to be excellent and strive after excellence needs to give them the opportunity to fail and grow. That means supervision, but not micromanaging.

Perhaps you are misconstruing the manager's attitude. It is a supervision so as to hold you to high standards and keep on top of things, perhaps, that you perceive as interfering with your work. Or perhaps you misconstrue as a desire for excellence her perfectionism and inability to delegate and actually manage.

If she is cramping your ability to do the work excellently, then that should be a topic of discussion. You could say that you appreciate the high ideal she has for you and want to pursue it. You know you will always fall short of perfection, but want to strive to do the work with as much perfection as possible. Tell her then that it's not the standards or accountability that is difficult for you, but rather, her manner of oversight, which adds stress to you, and does not allow you to perform to your utmost. Then discuss what you think would work. A good manager would be elated to hear an employee coming to try to figure out how he could work better!

If she is not striving after high ideals, but truly micromanaging and being a perfectionist, you have two options : quit, or try to destress by taking her critiques with the grain of salt they need. This probably means more corrections, but then again, why worry about getting told off if she expecting the impossible. You can't do the impossible, especially if she insist on doing the work herself by micromanaging.

As regards failure, that is normal and natural. Material created things fail. Period. We should expect that we will fail. We realize that this is part of God's plan, and there is in every failure a greater good that can be extracted. Accept the failure, ask what can be done to fix it or not fail in the same way again, make up for the failure if there is some reparation needed, get back up and keep walking.

The Cross was the ultimate failure. It was also the ultimate victory.


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - havok579257 - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 06:40 PM)FultonFan Wrote:
(01-24-2019, 06:36 PM)havok579257 Wrote:
(01-24-2019, 05:42 PM)FultonFan Wrote: Recently I’ve made some mistakes in my job, enough so that my manager has had to discuss the matters with me.  Thankfully, my manager is fairly patient; although she definitely demands excellence, and a very close attention to detail in handling the various files (as she should).  However, I must admit that she stresses me out rather badly, especially knowing you’re being micromanaged.

So, here’s really what I’m asking: when you put forth your best efforts — and yet, fail — how do you seek consolation?  I know that a career is only there to support my wife and children, and that a career is a mere CREATURE; yet, I take my job seriously, and failure just makes me question everything about my competence to the point of obsession.

Any counsel out there?

you have children I take it.  what would you advise them to do come high school when they try out for a sports team or an extra curricular team, try their hardest but still fail to make the team?  this will come up with your children even if they don't play sports.  just imagine them not doing good in a specific school class and they tried and studied so hard and still just managed to get a c-.  what would you say to them.

I have a three year old son and a daughter on the way.
If they “tried their best” and got a C- I’d have to question whether or not they tried their best.
Is that what you’re trying to tell me?  That I’m not actually doing my best?

So your idea is unless your kids are excellent or above average in every single subject in all of their school years, college included, you would tell them you wonder if they actually tried their best?  I guess I would question the quality of education if every single person can get all A’s and B’s just by trying their best.  Obviously the education system you envision is not that challenging of a one.


Is your mindset the same for sports?  Would you question how hard your child actually tried if they were not able to make every sports team they tried out for?


RE: As a Catholic, how do you cope when you fail in your professional life? - MagisterMusicae - 01-24-2019

(01-24-2019, 07:15 PM)MaryTN Wrote: Some children struggle with certain subjects.  Some children are just not good at school.  Some children are not intelligent.  So, for that child a C- might really be the best grade they can get.  I doubt that you are not good at your job or not intelligent enough to learn from your mistake.  Yes, some children get bad grades because they don't try hard enough but that is clearly not how things are with you.  So, learn from your mistake, don't keep beating yourself up, and carry on.

The Magister part comes in here ... as a secondary school teacher I can certainly say that there are good boys and girls who simply will not score As or Bs in their classes, and some who will certainly fail. To have an education system where everyone passes makes for a bad education system.

That's certainly fine. The question is only whether they did everything they could—whether they failed in their duty, not in their grades.

That said, it's a good comparison. With your work, or anything, really, one will often fail, but if he has not failed in his duty, there is no blame, and he needs to merely evaluate things and see if there are lessons to be learned. If he has, that is when he must repair in some way and learn the lessons.

Failure is an important key to success, and perhaps the best way of learning what is necessary to be truly successful.