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Pray for my family, please!!! - Richard M. Sawicki - 09-22-2019

To any fellow Catholics who may be reading this - I desperately need your prayers!

I am in truly dire straits, with a gigantic clock ticking away in my stressed-out brain.  I liken my situation to being handcuffed to a lamp-post with a ticking time bomb in my lap!

I am a 51 year old man in New York City and have spent innumerable years taking care of my severely dysfunctional family members (including my now-deceased, bankrupt, alcoholic father), as Our Lord would have me do ("So oft as ye did it to the least of these...").  The family members I am directly caring for are:

1. My 86 year old mother who is an invalid after decades of kidney disease, asthma, cardiovascular problems, chronic urinary-tract infections resulting from permanent "colonization" with psudomonas bacteria, and now, two strokes which have rendered her unable to walk.  She lives on a meagre fixed income.

2. My 49 year old mentally-retarded sister (Down Syndrome) who has developed psoriatic arthritis causing enormous skin flare-ups which she reacts to by scratching furiously, leaving piles of shredded epidermis all over the floor and furniture, aggravating the lungs of my other sister who has asthma.  The condition also renders her unable to move sometimes due to the joint pain.  Since she only has the mental capacity of a six year old, this is frustrating and frightening for her since she doesn't understand about the aging process or how it is effecting her body.  I've been trying for seven years to get her medical, financial, and legal affairs in order since, unfortunately, no other family member ever became her legal guardian.  This long, arduous process is constantly being stalled by one legal, procedural, or logistical problem after another (it really makes me feel like I've got some sort of "guardian demon" trying to thwart my every move!).

3. My other sister who is 48, suffering with numerous chronic health problems which are being exacerbated by a particularly agonizing menopause.  She suffers great emotional stress and depression after having been essentially drafted at age ten into being a housewife-laundress-cook-charwoman by my mother, and now finds herself at middle age with no friends, husband, children, or family of her own, and feels totally abandoned by God.

I am effectively prevented from working anymore because my care-taking duties are such that I feel like I'm running a small hospital where I, all by myself, am the doctor, nurse, orderly, pharmacologist, etc.

There is also the issue of my trying to effect a lease-succession on the apartment, so my sisters, in the interim of any family deaths, should they occur, do not become homeless.

I am also desperately trying to raise money to buy burial plots for my mother and retarded sister, since neither of them has a will or any other resources, as well as secure a priest who will celebrate a traditional Funeral Mass for my mother (1962 Missal) when the time ultimately comes (I reject all well-meaning suggestions from my non-Catholic friends that I have them cremated, etc.).

Every morning I go to the tabernacle and surrender my life to Our Lord, begging Him to help keep me going for "one more day" and help me make progress with all these tasks and issues.  While my faith in Him and His ultimate justice and providence is unshaken, I must say that the TEMPTATION to wail and lament, "My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?" is a strong one, which is getting harder to resist.

Please... my brothers and sisters in Christ Jesus... storm Heaven and ask that some relief may be sent my way soon.  "The Enemy" would like nothing more than for me to despair and give up.  I won't, but it's nice to know I have the other members of the household of faith on my side.

May God bless each and every one of you who have taken the time to stop and read this.

Gaudete in Domino Semper!

"O Mary, conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee!"

Richard M. Sawicki


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Ambrosiano - 09-22-2019

Prayers to Him for you!   Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Margaret-Mary - 09-22-2019

Richard, I will pray for you. 

I wonder if you can (or do?) get any kind of respite care? And if there are any types of outside support available/possible — visiting nurses, in-home companions, day programs for your Downs sister, and so forth?


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - dahveed - 09-23-2019

Pray

Richard,
I have added you and your family to my Rosary intentions from now on. Here in Ohio there are a variety of in-home healthcare personnel. It's been almost fifty years since I lived in NY (Vestal, outside Binghamton). Any chance you folks have some alternative caregivers that can help?


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - JacafamalaRedux - 09-24-2019

Remembering you in my rosary before the Blessed Sacrament today and I'll put your intention in the prayer book at the shrine. The nuns will pray for you. 

Your taking care of the family is extremely pleasing to God. But I gather you're the one who must work, being as you're the breadwinner, correct? I can understand how that's stressing you out. 

I actually know at least a little what you're going through. My husband and I are caring for my 90 year old mother in-law, schizophrenic brother-in-law, and a brother who fell on hard times... along with some of our own kids who still live with us. It's tough, but it's God's will. Since He chose it, I guess it's our path to holiness. 

I'm going to pray that you get some help, because it sounds like you're at your wit's end. Never forget that if we carry our crosses in a state of grace, then we're storing treasures for Heaven. May God reward you abundantly! Hang in there!


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - JacafamalaRedux - 09-29-2019

Caregiving 101: On Being a Caregiver


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Richard M. Sawicki - 10-01-2019

(09-22-2019, 09:25 PM)Ambrosiano Wrote: Prayers to Him for you!   Pray Pray Pray Pray Pray

Many thanks to all of you who have responded.  I apologize for not replying individually to all your suggestions and encouragements.  I'm fairly occupied as my mother in in the hospital battling a quadruple urinary-tract infection, bacterial pneumonia, and a possible blood clot in the lung.  When a get a moment in the overnight hours, I'll that you all personally.

Gaudete in Domino Semper!

"O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee"!


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Richard M. Sawicki - 10-01-2019

(09-22-2019, 10:40 PM)Margaret-Mary Wrote: Richard, I will pray for you. 

I wonder if you can (or do?) get any kind of respite care? And if there are any types of outside support available/possible — visiting nurses, in-home companions, day programs for your Downs sister, and so forth?

Many thanks to all of you who have responded.  I apologize for not replying individually to all your suggestions and encouragements.  I'm fairly occupied as my mother in in the hospital battling a quadruple urinary-tract infection, bacterial pneumonia, and a possible blood clot in the lung.  When a get a moment in the overnight hours, I'll thank you all personally.

Gaudete in Domino Semper!

"O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee"!


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Richard M. Sawicki - 10-01-2019

(09-23-2019, 05:22 AM)dahveed Wrote: Pray

Richard,
I have added you and your family to my Rosary intentions from now on. Here in Ohio there are a variety of in-home healthcare personnel. It's been almost fifty years since I lived in NY (Vestal, outside Binghamton). Any chance you folks have some alternative caregivers that can help?

Many thanks to all of you who have responded.  I apologize for not replying individually to all your suggestions and encouragements.  I'm fairly occupied as my mother in in the hospital battling a quadruple urinary-tract infection, bacterial pneumonia, and a possible blood clot in the lung.  When a get a moment in the overnight hours, I'll thank you all personally.

Gaudete in Domino Semper!

"O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee"!


RE: Pray for my family, please!!! - Richard M. Sawicki - 10-01-2019

(09-24-2019, 05:50 AM)JacafamalaRedux Wrote: Remembering you in my rosary before the Blessed Sacrament today and I'll put your intention in the prayer book at the shrine. The nuns will pray for you. 

Your taking care of the family is extremely pleasing to God. But I gather you're the one who must work, being as you're the breadwinner, correct? I can understand how that's stressing you out. 

I actually know at least a little what you're going through. My husband and I are caring for my 90 year old mother in-law, schizophrenic brother-in-law, and a brother who fell on hard times... along with some of our own kids who still live with us. It's tough, but it's God's will. Since He chose it, I guess it's our path to holiness. 

I'm going to pray that you get some help, because it sounds like you're at your wit's end. Never forget that if we carry our crosses in a state of grace, then we're storing treasures for Heaven. May God reward you abundantly! Hang in there!

Many thanks to all of you who have responded.  I apologize for not replying individually to all your suggestions and encouragements.  I'm fairly occupied as my mother in in the hospital battling a quadruple urinary-tract infection, bacterial pneumonia, and a possible blood clot in the lung.  When a get a moment in the overnight hours, I'll thank you all personally.

Gaudete in Domino Semper!

"O Mary conceived without sin, pray for us who have recourse to thee"!