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The whiny stage - Printable Version

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The whiny stage - SacraCor714 - 09-13-2021

My 17-month-old son has officially reached the whiny stage. Please give me all of your tips on how to handle a whiny toddler.

RE: The whiny stage - AnaCarolina1 - 09-13-2021

Ignore it and don't give in. If it's persistent, time out chair. I used to put mine in the kitchen , with a stove timer.

RE: The whiny stage - Jeeter - 09-14-2021

(09-13-2021, 05:42 PM)AnaCarolina1 Wrote: Ignore it and don't give in. If it's persistent, time out chair. I used to put mine in the kitchen , with a stove timer.

This ^ and also consistency.  When you and your husband say that if kid does A, B will happen, it needs to happen every time.

RE: The whiny stage - Sword of St. Michael - 09-14-2021

Like everyone said, time outs/ignore it. When I or my wife reach the point that we feel like snapping (when they are doing that ear splitting screaming and throwing themselves around) then a time out in their room with the door closed. We check on them, listen to make sure they are ok (we make sure they are not working themselves up to the point of being sick), but it helps to keep us sane. Have found that after about 5 minutes or so, going in and asking 'are you done? you can come out when you calm down' is usually all it takes, if they are visibly trying to stop, we pull them out. If they loose it completely, are not stopping/trying to stop, restart.

RE: The whiny stage - AnaCarolina1 - 09-14-2021

Yes,my friend had a toddler same age as mine, this was a serious thing..he used to run in the road. She would say get on sidewalk or we are going in...about ten times. And n ver did. ???

So my little guy would follow. I said thats, it we are going in and we did..unfair to his brother. So I came up with this..

It's funny too, it was a cul de sac. My toddler hated bare feet on concrete. So I took his shoes too when we played outside in the grass. He never left the grass.

So sometimes we have to get creative too. But consistent.

RE: The whiny stage - Jeeter - 09-14-2021

My last piece of advice on whiny toddler behavior is to remember this behavior.  Then when you become a grandmother, send the grandkids home jacked up on Red Bull and chocolate covered espresso beans, and maybe include a drum set or bugle.

As the saying goes, "Payback is a medevac." (insert laughing emoji right here)

RE: The whiny stage - VoxClamantis - 09-14-2021

Time outs, but not to their rooms. If you tell them "go to your room," you're making their rooms a place of punishment. Later, when you say "go to your room and play" not as a punishment, it may feel punitive to some. To others, well, they tend to have lots of toys and a bed in their rooms. If it were me, I'd be thinking, "to my room? Sure! Don't bother me 'til dinner time!"

Get a little chair or box, set it in the corner, make the kid sit on it facing the corner, and have him stay there until he's calmed himself down. Tell him why he's being put in the chair, tell him he'll be staying there until he gets himself under control and to let you know when he's calm and/or sorry, but otherwise don't talk to him or interact with him in any way. Don't let him play with anything or read or take books with him, etc. It should be boring, with nothing to do or think about but facing his feelings and dealing with them. If he gets up, say nothing, but immediately grab him and put him back on the chair facing the corner, again saying *nothing*. Rinse and repeat, even ad nauseam. If both you and your husband do this and do it *consistently*, his tantrums will undoubtedly stop after no more than a week.

Again, don't talk to him while he's in the corner. At all. If he talks to you, ignore him (unless he speaks calmly to say he's done or he's sorry). 

When he's calm and off the chair, tell him you love him and talk to him about what set him off, and about how to handle anger or frustration. Teach him how to deal with the issue that set him off and what to do about (he wants attention? teach him to seek it in a better way. Jealous that another kid got something he didn't? Teach him how to get the same thing, that life's not fair, to find an alternative, etc.). 

More importantly, tell him it's OK to feel angry or frustrated, but he has to learn what to do about it. Teach him to calm himself down, to take deep breaths, to relax his body, to distract himself, to use words to express his anger appropriately, etc. Teach him the words he needs -- mad, angry, frustrated. Talk to him about all that, act the words out and explain their meaning. Give him the necessary language to convey his feelings.

All of this might make for a few exhausting days, but if you and your husband are both consistent with this and do exactly the above, everything will be likely be easier in a few days.

Also, you and your husband should check yourselves as to what you're modeling for the kid. Do you express frustration and anger appropriately? Scream? Throw things? (I'm assuming not, of course, just speaking generally and maybe for those reading over our shoulders...)

RE: The whiny stage - AnaCarolina1 - 09-14-2021

Yes and if you have a strong willed child, like mine was, when the beeper went off on the stove I would say time out over.

He would not budge. He sat in that chair till he was ready, not me.

Good news, he's a good Catholic in his 20's.