Aspergers and ADHD
#71
LaRoza Wrote:
somerset76 Wrote:The Catholic traditionalist realm is not Asperger's-friendly, as I experienced it.
That is society in general. The Church has nothing against AS in anyway.
Well, of course, true enough. I was certainly marginalized in my public school and university years, to say the least. But there's a particular dimension to it in the trad realm, and that is because of the palpable distrust one finds, particularly in the "irregular" realms (not so much in the "motu" milieu), against the mental health profession in principle as well as in practice.

That is a key reason why for as long as I was in an "irregular" realm, it never occurred to anyone to bring the possibility of my being on the Spectrum to my attention. I had to allow myself to reengage with elements of mainstream society to discover this profound truth. And yet despite the proliferation of sin in today's society, I have found more understanding among people "out there" than I ever did within that realm.
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#72
somerset76 Wrote:
LaRoza Wrote:
somerset76 Wrote:The Catholic traditionalist realm is not Asperger's-friendly, as I experienced it.
That is society in general. The Church has nothing against AS in anyway.
Well, of course, true enough. I was certainly marginalized in my public school and university years, to say the least. But there's a particular dimension to it in the trad realm, and that is because of the palpable distrust one finds, particularly in the "irregular" realms (not so much in the "motu" milieu), against the mental health profession in principle as well as in practice.

That is a key reason why for as long as I was in an "irregular" realm, it never occurred to anyone to bring the possibility of my being on the Spectrum to my attention. I had to allow myself to reengage with elements of mainstream society to discover this profound truth. And yet despite the proliferation of sin in today's society, I have found more understanding among people "out there" than I ever did within that realm.

You'd have a harder time with touchy-feely "neo-Catholics" and evangelicals.
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#73
somerset76 Wrote:
LaRoza Wrote:
somerset76 Wrote:The Catholic traditionalist realm is not Asperger's-friendly, as I experienced it.
That is society in general. The Church has nothing against AS in anyway.
Well, of course, true enough. I was certainly marginalized in my public school and university years, to say the least. But there's a particular dimension to it in the trad realm, and that is because of the palpable distrust one finds, particularly in the "irregular" realms (not so much in the "motu" milieu), against the mental health profession in principle as well as in practice.

Though you will find some of that at FE, too, it isn't the norm here.  My own opinion is that modern psychology has good points as well as bad.  Generally I think it is better at diagnosing than treating, but a lot of that has to do with the fact that it is a relatively immature field.  Another thing has to do with the fact they ignore the reality of the soul.  If you only treat the mind and ignore the soul you're not going to affect a full treatment.

In certain parts of the trad realm there is a palpable distrust of everything imaginable; a distrust which is physically - and spiritually - unhealthy.  I tend to ignore those types of knee-jerk reactions and find out what is really true and what is paranoia and rumor.
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#74
(09-02-2008, 08:08 AM)kjvail Wrote:
Traditio Wrote:ADHD is a false "diagnosis" used to gain pharmaceutical profits.

As far as ADHD is concerned I'm inclined to agree with you but Asperger's is very real and very frightening given the exponential growth of the disorder among children in the last 20 years. Last I read I believe it was upto 1 in 14 children, something is definitely going on.

There's nothing "frightening" about it. We're just different , not diseased!
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#75
(07-25-2009, 04:09 PM)Lee Timmer Wrote:
(09-02-2008, 08:08 AM)kjvail Wrote:
Traditio Wrote:ADHD is a false "diagnosis" used to gain pharmaceutical profits.

As far as ADHD is concerned I'm inclined to agree with you but Asperger's is very real and very frightening given the exponential growth of the disorder among children in the last 20 years. Last I read I believe it was upto 1 in 14 children, something is definitely going on.

There's nothing "frightening" about it. We're just different , not diseased!

Well, people treat my son (and "LaRoza" at least on this forum) as lepers in a way, so aspies may as well be diseased even though the reality is just a difference in processing.  Even his stepmom who started this thread doesn't "get it" about him, and I'm accused of being defensive about him all the time.  I suppose I am defensive sometimes, but many times I'm just trying to explain why giving him a smack for talking too loud isn't the right thing to do and wouldn't help anyhow.
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#76
My 17 year old is about to become 18 in a few weeks, my heart has been so broke and I am frustrated to tears to think I can never have a relationship with him. I too respect that aspergers is NOT a disease or even an abnormality. I accept it as a personality type, a rare one. However that being said, it took my wife and I almost a decade with him before we realised that maybe he wasnt being evil per se but really couldnt cognitate what it was that his parents find so offensive.
the following is what our son has done to us:
Always keeps us completely out of his loops if possible. Never tells us how his track events went, how his test went, etc etc....he acts as if we have absolutly no right to even ask about these things! This is his most maddening trait. (this is a brief synopsis but many other very important events he shuts us out of I get the feeling when he gets older well find out he got married by the newspaper)
Utterly defies most any rules we have set down...unless we enforce them with extream prejudice...which gets so tiring we just let him do whatever the hell he wants...(grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) like?
"Son do not raid the pantry every night...do not eat out of the cans and jars in the pantry....do not stay up all night.....etc"
Looks us directly in the eye and lies or obfuscates when confronted by evidence of wrong doing on his part.
Shows no concern for our feelings, or concerns...acts totaly flumoxed when we simply try to engage in the most mundane conversations

now all of the above sounds horrible,......and it is...but I actually dont think HE THINKS hes doing anything wrong he seems to have no natural sense of shame. In other words I feel like punishing him about his bahavior is like trying to punish a person born blind because they cant describe a sunset.

ANyway my wife and I have been completely heartsick his whole childhood,teenhood, and now son manhood. I wish I could go back in time and re-raise him knowing what I know now about him, in his way of percieveing things we must seem the worst parents ever. and I will never know what things my miscommunications andwrong approch to raising him
might have been made worse by us. Oh one final thing...he absolutellllllly refuses to admit he has AS, even though he hits on almost all indicators.....God have mercy on me a crappy dad.l         
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#77
i dont want to offend but it sounds more like hes a brat with a discipline plm and has had some very bad schooling.
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#78
(07-25-2009, 06:35 PM)devotedknuckles Wrote: i dont want to offend but it sounds more like hes a brat with a discipline plm and has had some very bad schooling.
zackly I would agree but its not the case, I have 3 other sons and a daughter and none of them act like him. I have imposed very severe punishments, withdrawn perks, brought in school admins, enlisted uncles and aunts...all to no avail......nuckles I swear to you we have tried everything....and when he finishes school this year extant..out he goes....I dont care if he has to sleep under a bridge......(I actually do care but this might be the only thing to get through to him)
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#79
(07-25-2009, 06:35 PM)devotedknuckles Wrote: i dont want to offend but it sounds more like hes a brat with a discipline plm and has had some very bad schooling.

And that's part of the problem.  A lot of these kids do come off like that, but in reality it isn't the case.  But, it seems to me that the discipline and schooling for other kids don't work with them and you have to use alternative methods.  A further problem is when you do this, someone is right there saying, "You should just beat his ass." But, as voxpopuli said, beating their ass often doesn't work as it would on other kids, and sometimes I'm doubtful they even understand what they did wrong - just as voxp said.

In my case, I've found the best approach is to habitualize good behavior in my son.  It takes time and patience - they're gonna f it up a lot.  But, once it becomes habit, it sticks and my son then does the stuff more regular and better than the other two kids that don't have these problems.
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#80
(07-25-2009, 07:21 PM)voxpopulisuxx Wrote:
(07-25-2009, 06:35 PM)devotedknuckles Wrote: i dont want to offend but it sounds more like hes a brat with a discipline plm and has had some very bad schooling.
zackly I would agree but its not the case, I have 3 other sons and a daughter and none of them act like him. I have imposed very severe punishments, withdrawn perks, brought in school admins, enlisted uncles and aunts...all to no avail......nuckles I swear to you we have tried everything....and when he finishes school this year extant..out he goes....I dont care if he has to sleep under a bridge......(I actually do care but this might be the only thing to get through to him)

I'm thinking you might need family counseling before you can get through to him.  My son trusts me so when I say something is wrong, he believes me even if he doesn't get it.  If your son did things wrong and didn't think they were wrong or understand why and still got punished, you may have broken some of that trust.  I believe you can get it back with hard work, and then he might listen to what you say even if he doesn't understand.

Don't give up hope.  Try and rebuild a relationship with him.  I'll say an ave for you :pray:
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