Aspergers and ADHD
#81
(07-25-2009, 08:27 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote:
(07-25-2009, 07:21 PM)voxpopulisuxx Wrote:
(07-25-2009, 06:35 PM)devotedknuckles Wrote: i dont want to offend but it sounds more like hes a brat with a discipline plm and has had some very bad schooling.
zackly I would agree but its not the case, I have 3 other sons and a daughter and none of them act like him. I have imposed very severe punishments, withdrawn perks, brought in school admins, enlisted uncles and aunts...all to no avail......nuckles I swear to you we have tried everything....and when he finishes school this year extant..out he goes....I dont care if he has to sleep under a bridge......(I actually do care but this might be the only thing to get through to him)

I'm thinking you might need family counseling before you can get through to him.  My son trusts me so when I say something is wrong, he believes me even if he doesn't get it.  If your son did things wrong and didn't think they were wrong or understand why and still got punished, you may have broken some of that trust.  I believe you can get it back with hard work, and then he might listen to what you say even if he doesn't understand.

Don't give up hope.  Try and rebuild a relationship with him.  I'll say an ave for you :pray:

Next rosary is for you guys.  I worked in a couple of mental health clinics - don't know what to say except hang in there. 
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#82
DK, there's plenty of bratty kids - and there's plenty of parents that just don't want to take the time to be decent parents.

But when you've got a child that thinks differently - and needs to be taught differently - it's a whole other situation.

Worse yet, if you don't know what the problem is, you feel like anger, frustration, impatience, and confusion rule and there's not a THING you can do about it.

Once you find out what the problem is, you can tackle it - but sometimes that takes a long time. But it can be done!

Also, when the kid isn't the oldest, it really throws you - darn, why was #1 so easy to train, and #2 such an intolerable little &#! ?

Then it snowballs from there.

But if the parents try to figure it out, the kid can actually grow up to be a happy productive adult.

But it isn't easy.


edit: btw, I'm not talking about [i]you, voxp. I'm talking about all parents, me included.

:)[/i]
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#83
For people who are trying to understand the Asperger's mind, I highly recommend this book:

Freaks, Geeks & Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence
http://www.amazon.com/Freaks-Geeks-Asper...843100983/
[Image: 51Y4HYCEGAL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-stic..._OU01_.jpg]

It is written by a 13 year old boy with Aspergers; the book is fascinating if you're trying to figure out why people with Asperger Syndrome won't look you in the eye while you're talking, why they can be totally oblivious to the world for hours if engrossed in a subject that interests them, and why they hoard every battery in the house.
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#84
(07-26-2009, 02:11 PM)WhollyRoaminCatholic Wrote: For people who are trying to understand the Asperger's mind, I highly recommend this book:

Freaks, Geeks & Asperger Syndrome: A User Guide to Adolescence

It is written by a 13 year old boy with Aspergers; the book is fascinating if you're trying to figure out why people with Asperger Syndrome won't look you in the eye while you're talking, why they can be totally oblivious to the world for hours if engrossed in a subject that interests them, and why they hoard every battery in the house.

I have heard good things about that book, but I have never read it. I would caution people against using the words of a 13 year old to judge anyone else but 13 year olds though. A 13 year old normal person writing a book explaining his point of view certainly wouldn't represent the adult world properly either right?

People with AS will look you in the eye, but it is a learned behavior, usually because of people pestering them about it, rather than explaining why. They get nothing out of it.

EDIT: I'm curious, I never heard about the battery thing. What does the book say about that? (If it is short anyway).
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#85
it seems the only time my son will look me in the eye is when hes angery or hes covering up. ::)
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#86
Mine (12 y.o.) only looks me in the eye when I make him do it. It's as tho somehow that's going to fix the problem. All of a sudden, maybe, just maybe, this time, I'll break through. But it doesn't happen. He just stares and I hug him and he goes away again. Sometimes I despair that we'll never have a better relationship and it frustrates him, too, because he compares himself to other people all the time.
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#87
I have 2 sons who have ADD or AD/HD as it is now called.  Neither of my sons is/was a behavior problem.  But AD/HD is a very real phenomenon.  The problems with focusing and staying on task are not something the ADD person has control over.

My oldest adult son has made accomodations to the disorder but he is still has it.  I tried change in diet.  Took out all unnatural sugars and additives and such as best I could.  That did not help him.  I do believe that there is a physiologic basis to it.  At the time the only medication available was Ritalin.  We did a trial of Ritalin.  It did not help and made him very depressed so we stopped after one week.    I always encouraged him to succeed and told him he could do anything he put his mind to doing, but that it might take more effort for him than it does for others.  He basically just learned to cope and work around his ADD.

He is a very talented artist, has his A.A. degree in commercial art and pushes a broom at a local hospital to support himself.  He does this because the stress of dealing with production deadlines, is just too much for him.  He loves his job--no pressure--his co-workers  and patients love him and he's gotten 4 president's awards for outstanding service. He once drew pictures and entertained a woman's children in the ER after his shift for a couple of hours so that she could tend to her sick husband, for which he received one of the awards.

Like the Aspies the ADD's are very much misunderstood and I think, having dealt with both, have some similar characteristis.

My 12 year old also has ADD.  Very smart--no behavior problem other than his "singing" and "dancing around" driving his family crazy.  There are now much better medications available.  My son has remarked on how much easier it is to concentrate at school now that he is on his medication.  In one year he's gone from a "B-C" student to straight "A's."  I was worried when he got to middle school and had to get from class to class.  But with the medication it has been no problem.  He want's to be a microbiologist when he grows up and I don't doubt that he'll succeed.  I only wish some of theses meds were available 20 years ago when his older brother was struggling.

So after 33 years of dealing with AD/HD.  Don't anyone tell me that it is a false diagnosis.  With my experience I can tell you that it is definitely physiologically based.  Believe me, generally I have no love for the misuse of pharmaceuticals, but when used properly and followed up on, they can change lives.

edited for spelling

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#88

http://www.ican-do.net/teaching_babies_kay_ness.htm

These people are not Catholic.

What they do is AMAZING - and I encourage all of you to read the website.

I've seen severely autistic kids reach the  point where one doesn't even notice it.

They refer to those kids as "recovered autistics".

:)

Some of the kids need to go to square one.... over and over again.

One of the kids that I know of had zero - I mean ZERO social skills. He loved candy, and if he was walking down the street and saw someone eating candy, he would walk up to them, and take the candy right out of their hand.

These folks actually made the parents make short 30 second videos about how he was supposed to act.

Mother outside the door - rings the doorbell. Father opens door.

" hello. How are you?"

"I am fine, thank you."

The parents thought it was the stupidest thing they had ever heard - then they tried it, along with MANY other things - and it worked.

Lots of time, lots of work -

but you end up with a happy, productive adult.

What parent doesn't want that?

Any questions, PM me.

:)
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#89
mmmmm> im no expert. but i used to teach GOJU RYU to kids. has anyone tried a traditional martial art program for there wee ones with asperges? traditional Japanese martial arts such as GOJU (yes the original form was Okinawan but i taught the yamaguchi lineage of GOJU) highly ritualized. it can and does build confidence not just in confrontations but physically as well i taught a few extremely clumsy kids and at first i was thinkin my God these lads are hammered but after 6 months they could do Kata solid. and this in turn helped with clumsiness outside the dojo. we spent allot of time with eye training because how one places the eyes betrays weakness or can offend greatly. we did not spend allot for time on sparring or mat work. some but the focus in the kids program was building confidence and muscle memory. which had a good effect on concentration outside the dojo. none of the wee ens i taught had asperges though.
im just offering this as an alternative to meds.
also GOJU is not for everyone. but there is plenty of martial arts out there.
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#90
also Vox i understand your boy will be 18 or is now so this must be tough. i dont really have much to add as me boy is only 13 months so im a new parent u know. i pray your wee en stays safe and somehow this all gets worked out.
i mean it!
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