It's not "goodbye."....It's just goodbye.
#1
I've been thinking lately that I've been imprudent, probably for a long time, about the kinds of people I interact with and who I've allowed to negatively impact my state of mind. A friend of mine is always reminding me that any disturbance of the soul is from the devil, and it's probably about time I started taking her advice. In any case I'm taking a long break from FE. I've left before and come back so I'm never going to claim it's permanent, but I won't be interacting here for a very long time. I've really enjoyed the time I've spent here and met some awesome people, but more and more lately I'm realizing that certain attitudes among very specific people that keep coming up here are destroying my peace of soul, and it's not worth it. Not even a little. So I'm going to do what is a pretty difficult thing for me to do, and walk away from the controversy instead of sticking around and trying to fix it.

Because if I was in the coffee room at church after mass, asking for advice about computer batteries, and a man came up to me and made this comment:

(02-16-2012, 10:02 PM)Heinrich Wrote: Sounds like menopause

...I wouldn't return or even respond. I would get my coffee at Peet's after mass. I don't engage with obscene weirdos in real life, so I'm not sure why I've allowed myself to do it on here. That's just stupid on my part and it needs to change.

Likewise with some of the other male posters who think it's appropriate to make comments to me which, completely out of context, are lewd and derogatory, often referring to hormones, bodily functions, lesbianism, or whatever strange and twisted thought they have in their heads at the moment. Adam Wayne was the one who did it most recently here: http://catholicforum.fisheaters.com/inde...76.20.html

It says in the rules that prurience, misogyny, needlessly inflammatory language, and vendettas are not allowed, and yet I've been the recipient of all of these things many times, and in spite of reporting them, none of these people have ever been banned, except in one or two cases where the person was banned for some other reason. I like and respect Vox, and understand that she doesn't want to run an over-moderated forum, nor I'm sure does she want to spend her free time teaching grown men not to act like dirty-minded ten-year-olds. I've also always liked FE's general hands-off policy when it comes to arguments. It's part of what makes it such a cool place. So my leaving has nothing to do with Vox and everything to do with certain men as individuals who can't or won't behave like adults or reign in their pathological issues with women.

There's something else I'd like to address before going. I'm a private person. I've shared a lot of things on here over the years about my life and past, but by no means have I shared everything. I'm sure it's the same for a lot of people here. And yet, at least half a dozen times, I've been ridiculed by married men for being single. I honestly can't wrap my brain around this concept. I have never stated that I hate marriage or family life, or that I plan to stay single for the rest of my life. I've never told people on here whether not I was ever dating anyone at any given moment. I've always spoken well of marriage and Catholic family life. I'm happy in my state of life right now, and if I get married in the future, I'll be happy about that too.

And yet somehow this is turned into an insult by the men on here. Maybe before I go, somebody can explain the reasoning behind this. I would appreciate it because my tiny female brain is having trouble understanding it. It's very notable that only married men do this. Women never have, and neither have any single men. (Well, except Telemaque, but I'm not sure he counts.) So what is the deal?

Anyone who wants to keep in touch feel free to pm me. I'm already friends with a bunch of you on Facebook, and I'll probably be in chat or G+ or wherever. I'm not trying to distance myself from people so much as the situations that lead to things like this:

(12-28-2011, 06:44 PM)Heinrich Wrote:
(12-28-2011, 03:55 PM)Iolanthe Wrote: One thing that really needs to be addressed on this forum is the way men respond to people whose comments they don't like. There are a lot of obnoxious, adolescent, meaningless remarks, instead of intelligent responses. It's the essence of unmanly. A real man doesn't try to make a point in the same way a fifteen year old boy in detention does.

As far as I'm concerned, that's a lot worse than "yay" or "I love you so much" because it shows an internal disposition which is not masculine in the slightest.

Once again you lose all sense of reality when your harpy instincts take over. Just admit you hate men and want them all dead.

And this:

(12-28-2011, 09:08 PM)alaric Wrote: Also I understand you just had a birthday recently, congratulations.

Now, have you found a man yet?

Not mention lots of things said by Old Man which are probably too inappropriate to repost anyway.

I've also started a sort of "traddy" blog not that long ago, so if anyone is interested I'd be happy to pm the link.

So yeah. Goodbye. I just need to regain a bit of sanity and surround myself with the people that I like and respect, instead of pouring energy into the wrong things and having pointless conversations with people that I would walk barefoot over hot coals to avoid in real life.



I'd like to apologize to anyone who I've offended. There have definitely been times I've read things wrong, overreacted, and gotten too personal, all of which is part of the reason I feel the need to step away. So I'm genuinely sorry to anyone whose feelings I've hurt needlessly.

If you're a troll (see above), that apology doesn't include you.
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#2
Adios.

We'll be praying for you.  Please pray for us.  Seeya sometime...
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#3
Gonna miss you!  Take care.
More Catholic Discussion: http://thetradforum.com/

Go thy ways, old Jack;
die when thou wilt, if manhood, good manhood, be
not forgot upon the face of the earth, then am I a
shotten herring. There live not three good men
unhanged in England; and one of them is fat and
grows old: God help the while! a bad world, I say.
I would I were a weaver; I could sing psalms or any
thing. A plague of all cowards, I say still.
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#4
You're letting internet tough guy misogynists, rabid Jew haters and closet homosexuals drive you away from the forum? 

Yeah, that makes sense.

Don't be a stranger.  :tiphat:
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#5
Using a good-bye post to insult and criticize people is not classy.
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#6
First Tapatio is banned, and then Iolanthe leaves... THE VERY SAME DAY!  Forget 2011, 2012 is shaping up to be a Fish Eaters Restructuring Extravaganza.

(02-20-2012, 10:20 PM)Iolanthe Wrote: There's something else I'd like to address before going. [ . . . ] at least half a dozen times, I've been ridiculed by married men for being single. I honestly can't wrap my brain around this concept. I have never stated that I hate marriage or family life, or that I plan to stay single for the rest of my life. I've never told people on here whether not I was ever dating anyone at any given moment. I've always spoken well of marriage and Catholic family life. I'm happy in my state of life right now, and if I get married in the future, I'll be happy about that too.

And yet somehow this is turned into an insult by the men on here. Maybe before I go, somebody can explain the reasoning behind this. [ . . . ] It's very notable that only married men do this. Women never have, and neither have any single men. (Well, except Telemaque, but I'm not sure he counts.) So what is the deal?

Stab in the dark:  this might come from a somewhat... utilitarian attitude some men may have toward women.  The reasoning is something like "If not a wife and (possibly) also a mother, or a consecrated religious, what is her use?"

(^above is only my opinion - that of a foolish single fellow who knoweth little, mind you - but I think I might be onto something...?)
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#7
Bye Iolanthe. I'll miss reading your posts.

Please PM me the link to your blog!
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#8
(02-20-2012, 10:20 PM)Iolanthe Wrote: Because if I was in the coffee room at church after mass, asking for advice about computer batteries, and a man came up to me and made this comment:

(02-16-2012, 10:02 PM)Heinrich Wrote: Sounds like menopause

...I wouldn't return or even respond. I would get my coffee at Peet's after mass. I don't engage with obscene weirdos in real life, so I'm not sure why I've allowed myself to do it on here. That's just stupid on my part and it needs to change.

A common perception of you is that you are aggressive and quick to argue on the forum to the extent that many of your posts if done in person in a church basement situation would be possibly more inappropriate.

This may be the reason for the comments you find unreasonable.

This is an observation, not necessarily my thoughts.
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#9
(02-20-2012, 10:20 PM)Iolanthe Wrote: Because if I was in the coffee room at church after mass, asking for advice about computer batteries, and a man came up to me and made this comment:

(02-16-2012, 10:02 PM)Heinrich Wrote: Sounds like menopause

...I wouldn't return or even respond. I would get my coffee at Peet's after mass.

If someone said it to me, I'd laugh and make a point to hang out with him because I like his sense of humour.

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#10
You will be missed! Hope the time off does you good! :pray2:
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