How do you talk with women?
#21
It's best to start by opening your mouth and exhaling across the vocal cords.

The trick is to not open the mouth so wide that your foot mysteriously fits right in it.
It's a difficult skill to master (it takes about 60 years it appears) but I am told it is worth it. That's why it's best to shut up and just nod your head as soon as she starts talking (feet don't end up in mouths as frequently/quickly if the mouth is shut at the time).

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#22
I think part of the reason for the fear and uncertainty of men in talking to women is that there is a list a mile long of what someone might consider "creepy."  You don't have that much time to make an impression, but she doesn't know you, doesn't know your personality, sense of humor, expressions, etc. so you have to be careful.  It's a balance between making an impression and seeming strange.

And what makes it worse, at least in the United States, is that there is such a variety of cultures and viewpoints that affect dating, that you have no idea how a woman will respond to a certain approach.  Some girls like men who are very upfront about the desire to go on a date.  Some girls think that that is coming on too strong.  And remember that not all people have the same idea of what a "date" consists of.  True "dating" is not nearly as common as it used to be.  It's been replaced by "hanging out" or "hooking up."  Aside from the obvious reasons, that's another good reason to try to meet good Catholics instead of just random girls who you think are pretty or nice; they are more likely to think about dating the way you do, and not take being asked out in the wrong way.
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#23
Quote:Don't confuse lame with cute or funny. What's the difference? If you look like Brad Pitt, lameness becomes cute and funny. If you're not Brad - it's lame!

Kudos to that![Image: jestera.gif]
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#24
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#25
oiboyz Wrote:Okay ggreg, this cracks me up because a man once used exactly the same approach on me and I completely believed him. We went to a classical concert together. Now I'm wondering whether his dad really did give him those tickets or whether he was telling me the same story you used! Either way, it worked and we ended up dating a while.

Boy, I'm learning a lot on this men's forum. [Image: laff.gif]

Yeah, I remember him.  Did you enjoy the concert?
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#26
V_Leonius Wrote:First walk up to them smile and be friendly, just say "hi how are you?" or something like that and go from there.

I always preferred the line.  "Do you live around here often?"
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#27
cgraye Wrote:I think part of the reason for the fear and uncertainty of men in talking to women is that there is a list a mile long of what someone might consider "creepy." You don't have that much time to make an impression, but she doesn't know you, doesn't know your personality, sense of humor, expressions, etc. so you have to be careful. It's a balance between making an impression and seeming strange.

And what makes it worse, at least in the United States, is that there is such a variety of cultures and viewpoints that affect dating, that you have no idea how a woman will respond to a certain approach.

So the best advice is be prepared to take risks.  Talking to strangers is an acquired skill (not unlike making a business to business cold call if you're in sales) and he who dares will tend to win (over he who dares not).  My experience has been that standard lines don't work as well in the Anglo Saxon world.  You need to contextualized your approach and the opening is VERY important as you never get a second chance to make a first impression.  If there is a hint of creepy then the conversation will not progress.  Sub-conscious barriers go up.

Much better to find a context approach a lady and say, "Hello, are you Robert's sister, my name is ..."  or  "I've seen you here for a few weeks but we haven't been introduced, my name is..." then extend your hand.

Better still volunteer as an official welcomer to the parish or to sell places on a Pilgrimage or something.  Then you have an instant context.

Final piece of advice before I duck out.  If you have sociable sisters, get them to do the dirty work for you.  Women know women just like men know men.
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#28
TradCatholicGal Wrote:No no no no no, lol, don't hold her hand for awhile! That is *definitely* creepy. Definitely_creepy. Unless you're Brad Pitt. [Image: wink.gif]

But Brad doesn't like to bathe, so getting within ten feet would be creepy.

After the thrashing the men took in France's Greatest Achievement I can't believe the fairer sex over here is being so superficial.[Image: jestera.gif]

ggreg Wrote:Final piece of advice before I duck out.  If you have sociable sisters, get them to do the dirty work for you.  Women know women just like men know men.


Never seen one yet that wasn't up to a bit of skulduggery when matchmaking was concerned.[Image: afraidsmiley.gif]
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#29
And they always seem to try to tip the odds in the woman's favor.

BTW,I also heard that about Brad Pitt,think its true? My wife was the one who told me,I dont follow that junk.
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#30
But I like to think that men are more content to allow other men to remain single.[Image: afraidsmiley.gif] Women seem to revel in the challenge presented in matchmaking, must be the (vicarious) thrill of the hunt and all. (Why is it I can't get the scene with the matchmaker from Mulan out of my head right now?)

CradleCatholic Wrote:And they always seem to try to tip the odds in the woman's favor.

BTW,I also heard that about Brad Pitt,think its true? My wife was the one who told me,I dont follow that junk.

I have no personal experience, however, Angelina WAS married to Billie Bob who definitely looked skanky. I think that it must be a power over/dominance thing, "How ripe do I have to get before you peons find the backbone to express displeasure or at least fight over standing in spots upwind?"
On the other hand, he could be French[Image: afraidsmiley.gif] , in which case it would just be part of his charm.
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