Prospective Questions on Conflict in Marriage.
#11
Satori Wrote:I may get in trouble for saying this, but I think the idea that you should go on dates with your husband is stupid. There's pressure to maintain a period of your relationship that served a specific purpose and died a natural death -- to keep on thinking of each other the way you did when you were just getting acquainted. I think married people, especially women, make themselves very unhappy by trying to revive a particular kind of romance instead of seeking something deeper and lasting.

Which is not to say that the husband should never tell his wife she looks as beautiful as the day he met her.


I disagree! Dating helps you both to relax and have fun. And when kids come along it helps you keep your sanity!
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#12
Satori Wrote:I may get in trouble for saying this, but I think the idea that you should go on dates with your husband is stupid.

LOL, that makes me appreciate my never-ending series of meaningless dates and relationships a tad bit more.
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#13
QuisUtDeus

Great post--took me over 25 year to figure out all that you put in that paragraph!
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#14
Quote:Originally Posted by Satori
I may get in trouble for saying this, but I think the idea that you should go on dates with your husband is stupid.
I'm informing my wife of this right away! 
Seriously, every marriage is going to be different enough that there is probably no overall good advice.  But Quis's statement of "Die unto yourself" might be the best pearl out there.

My wife and I have been married for about a year and a half.  The hardest thing for us has been to find a balance of time together versus time apart.  I mean that in the most respectful and loving way, of course.  But when she wants to hang out with her girlfriends and knit or have pillowfights or whatever they do, we have to balance that with our time together.  Likewise when my cohorts and I play poker or need to be on the lake by 7:00 AM, I have to make sure those plans clear the old lady's review board.

That's been the biggest thing in our young marriage.  All the other stuff has been just water under the dam.
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#15
StevusMagnus Wrote:Dating helps you both to relax and have fun. And when kids come along it helps you keep your sanity!

No, Stevus, having a beer with your friends is relaxing and fun. Dates are NEVER fun whether you're married or not, they're tense and full of unspoken expectations that may not get met.

Then again, maybe it just depends on how you define a date.
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#16
I'll be watching the rest of this debate carefully. I'm at that point in life where I'm still discerning whether I want to be a misogynist, a misandrist, or just a misanthropist in general for the rest of my life.
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#17
Satori Wrote:
StevusMagnus Wrote:Dating helps you both to relax and have fun. And when kids come along it helps you keep your sanity!

No, Stevus, having a beer with your friends is relaxing and fun. Dates are NEVER fun whether you're married or not, they're tense and full of unspoken expectations that may not get met.

Wait a sec, I thought married dates were fun because the unspoken expectations do get met  [Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif]
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#18
ErinIsNotNice Wrote:
Satori Wrote:
StevusMagnus Wrote:Dating helps you both to relax and have fun. And when kids come along it helps you keep your sanity!

No, Stevus, having a beer with your friends is relaxing and fun. Dates are NEVER fun whether you're married or not, they're tense and full of unspoken expectations that may not get met.

Wait a sec, I thought married dates were fun because the unspoken expectations do get met  [Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif]

That depends on who you're married to.

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#19
I actually find taking time for myself keeps my marriage a bit more relaxed. He goes out by himself with his freinds a couple times a month, and i do the same. We have pretty opposite activities (he likes poker, i like pubs) so having our own separate lives, and interests, seems to work
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#20
Satori Wrote:That depends on who you're married to.
[Image: amen2.gif][Image: afraidsmiley.gif]
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