Prospective Questions on Conflict in Marriage.
#61
HappyWife Wrote:I just want to say if you get counseling please go to your priest! The last thing you need right now is some crazy liberal psych bemoaning your pregnancy, and advising who knows what...

Oh please [Image: eyes.gif]

Not all psychologists are "crazy liberals"-- some are even --gasp-- Catholic!  Imagine that!
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#62
ErinIsNotNice Wrote:
HappyWife Wrote:I just want to say if you get counseling please go to your priest! The last thing you need right now is some crazy liberal psych bemoaning your pregnancy, and advising who knows what...

Oh please [Image: eyes.gif]

Not all psychologists are "crazy liberals"-- some are even --gasp-- Catholic!  Imagine that!

True.  But it is worth asking a prospective marriage counselor what their feelings are.  Some are very pro-marriage and will do everything to help a couple stay together.  Some are, sadly, rather quick to recommend the "divorce is okay" approach teaching a couple how to divorce amicably.

While not all fall into the latter category it is a good idea to find out how friendly to a traditional view of marriage a prospective counselor is and how friendly they are toward religion (specifically Catholicism) they are.
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#63
HappyWife Wrote:A word from the wise...babies take a LOT more love than they give. If you are expecting a baby to bring sunshine and happiness to all your days you are in for it. Babies are indeed HUGE blessings, and I could not be happier with my own little girl. However, I stay sane during those hard hours/days because my spouse encourages me, helps me, calms me with his presence, etc. I am not an island, I need him. You need to reconnect with hubby now, if you wait you will not be on cloud 9 with your new baby, able to ignore his cranky butt. You will be on a miserable island of dirty diapers and tears without a spouse to help you out.
  He may not know how you feel? Can he see how much he has withdrawn lately? Maybe you should just spend a whole day doing "together" stuff that you both enjoy and you can talk to him about what is important to you NOW. Like together time, etc. Another thing I like to do is spend time in the same room, even if we are doing different things. You are reading Martha Stewart or knitting, his is browsing the net...just being together and making a little comment here or there can feel very "together."

 Good luck, I will keep this in my prayers!

Prayers are much appreciated, thanks :)  Perhaps one of the problems is that I don't spend enough time praying about this, but I have tried to talk about it with him.  I think in general the burden of trying to provide for a wife (and now a child) is probably getting to him, and he is exhausted whenever he gets home from work, so I'm sure that must be part of it.  He's used to only thinking about himself and only providing for himself, and getting married and expecting a child is a big adjustment for him that I can't exactly relate to.  A lot of couples use NFP so they can "take time" to become husband & wife together, but we decided not to go in that direction. 

I've told him that I need support, encouragement, etc, but he says I should be more independent and that I shouldn't rely on him to make me happy.  I guess that's true, but if God wanted us all to be 100% self sufficient, then God wouldn't even have bothered to create Eve and let Adam enjoy a solitary life instead.  He's agreed to do things like change diapers on occasion and spend time with the baby on weekends so I can go out with my friends, but he doesn't seem to understand the need for encouragement, affection, etc.  I guess some men just associate that with dating, which is a means to an end.
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