Single Guys: The Bible of Dating!
#51
frerejacques Wrote:I'm curious about why you're basing so many of your conclusions on fiction - neither Sex In The City nor Cary Grant are located in the documentary section of my local video store.


You asked why I came to the conclusion men used to know what they were doing in dating. Cinema is a reflection of the culture it came from. Taking a look at the vast differences in the male lead roles from the 50's to today tells you a lot about how much we've lost in masculine role models. This is just one easy way to see it first hand.

If you think that men today are behaving in the dating game just as they did 50 years ago, you need to get out more. As I said before, men today are not being men and don't even know how. I'm not sure what other evidence I can give you except to take a look around you outside of whatever perfect enclave you're currently living in.

Quote:Do you know anybody who's not on TV, son? Because that little box - it lies. You might want to think about who's behind that stuff. Clue: it's not Jesus. If you let television uncensored into your house to provide examples to yourself and your family, that's your decision.

Thanks for the lecture on the evils of TV! I guess I need to turn off the Sex In the City rerun I just had on! [Image: laff.gif]

Of course I'm not watching this stuff in my house. I'm using it as examples of popular culture and what those millions of people outside your bunker are ingesting every day. We need to know what society is up to so we can meet them on their own terms & help correct them.

Quote:As far as "the vast majority of society" - who exactly are you hanging out with? Is it Jerry Springer? Because that's not real either, Stevus. Sure some people are out of control and lost, but I wouldn't say that most Catholics are. It's the nature of young men to become impatient about finding a wife - instead of urging them to put their faith in God you're telling them that some guy has a system. What system is better than Catholicism?

You have me all wrong. I'm not saying good marriages aren't happening between Catholics, but I'm saying there could be a lot more and the marriages could be happier. One reason they are not is because the feminist/ modern garbage of the past 50 years has unconsciously redefined what it means to be a man, husband, father, and how to date. If you personally only know guys who are dating experts and act like the Marlboro man, more power to you! But in the real world, really good guys are missing the boat because they've been sold a pack of lies about basic human nature. Knowledge is power. The Truth shall set you free!

The "system" simply tells us rules garnered from studying behavior. These rules were set up by God through nature and natural qualities that attract. Some guy didn't invent them. He simply collected and packaged them in a language guys can understand. The key is to assist men in rediscovering male strength qualities that women are naturally attracted to and then incorporating these POSITIVE traits into their lives, thus making them better men and their wives more interested and happier to be with them.

These qualities are only one piece of the dating/ marriage puzzle, but a big piece that is typically ignored by modern Catholic men. OF COURSE there is still the bigger spiritual dimension in dating and marriage. But I don't care if you go to Mass twice a day and say 3 rosaries, if you act like Wimpus Americanus when you are dating your Catholic girl crush, you are going to crash and burn. The two go together!

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#52
There are biological reasons men, as a group, will focus on looks more than women, as a group, do. Female fertility is age-bound, and the things that signal fertility in a woman are also the the things that are considered "hot" -- youth, the bee-stung lips, wide hips, large breasts, etc. It's just biology. And it's biology, too, for women to focus less on looks and more on what a man can provide for her and her children. That's why you see so many couples with the "hot wife" and less physically attractive guy with the great job. We can scream "unfair" all night, but it won't change nature -- and just as it's "unfair" that women are expected more to be physically attractive, it's just as "unfair" that men are expected to be able to provide (and I agree with all my sisters here that the RIDICULOUSLY false standards of "beauty" based on air-brushed, anorexic, implanted, tooth-whitened actresses and porn nonsense are way too high -- or, um, low -- and incredibly painful for women. If men only knew and could feel what women feel under those pressures, they'd weep for us...).
 
But just as most women aren't so gold-digger as to dump the nice guy with the good job for the ass with the Ferrari, most men wouldn't put up with a selfish, lazy "hottie" instead of falling in love with a kind, loving fine-looking woman who couldn't get a modeling contract. And falling in love covers many shortcomings, makes women more beautiful to men, and men more attractive to women. People meet and click and get blinded to a few things that don't matter much. Thank God LOL
 
I dunno, I think both sexes take the extremes of nature and beat the other up with it. Come on; we're not enemies. Or at least we don't have to be.
 
And there's much to be said for what StevusMagnus said about "setting boundaries" and headship. No woman (me least of all) wants to be condescended to or treated like an idiot (as everyone knows by now, I LOATHE the Victorian view of womanhood). But women don't want a doormat pushover for a spouse, and a man who can't say no when he needs to ususally won't earn female respect. Besides, most women want to "submit" emotionally, not in the sense of giving up her personhood, playing coy schoolgirl, or taking on the role of maid-broodmare-punching bag, but in the sense of wanting to be subsumed by the feeling of being protected and safe in the warmth of masculine strength. There's a reason why the old fairy tales involved "rescue of the damsel," and I love how so many men really have very protective attitudes toward women, have the rescue fantasies themselves with them as heroes. As long as that is had without either sex seeing the female as a silly child, as long as it's all rooted in just recognizing the fact that women are almost always physically weaker, it's all just very sexy.
 
As to "the System," I don't know anything about it so can't say, but have no problems with "game" stuff as long as there's no lying involved and the intent is to meet a nice woman, not to use and abuse and engage in one-night-stands. If "game" is treated as just about learning how (most) women work, how they think, what turns them on, how to approach them, how to keep their interest and keep them happy, then who could fault that?
 
I gotta tell you, though, with marriage laws being what they are now, and with so many women having seriously bad attitudes toward men (which is causing a backlash and a half with between the secular pick-up artist types on the one hand, and the he-boy-rad-trad types on the other), if I were a guy, I'd likely be an eternal bachelor.
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#53
VoxClamantis Wrote:And there's much to be said for what StevusMagnus said about "setting boundaries" and headship. No woman (me least of all) wants to be condescended to or treated like an idiot (as everyone knows by now, I LOATHE the Victorian view of womanhood). But women don't want a doormat pushover for a spouse, and a man who can't say no when he needs to ususally won't earn female respect. Besides, most women want to "submit" emotionally, not in the sense of giving up her personhood, playing coy schoolgirl, or taking on the role of maid-broodmare-punching bag, but in the sense of wanting to be subsumed by the feeling of being protected and safe in the warmth of masculine strength. There's a reason why the old fairy tales involved "rescue of the damsel," and I love how so many men really have very protective attitudes toward women, have the rescue fantasies themselves with them as heroes. As long as that is had without either sex seeing the female as a silly child, as long as it's all rooted in just recognizing the fact that women are almost always physically weaker, it's all just very sexy.
 
As to "the System," I don't know anything about it so can't say, but have no problems with "game" stuff as long as there's no lying involved and the intent is to meet a nice woman, not to use and abuse and engage in one-night-stands. If "game" is treated as just about learning how (most) women work, how they think, what turns them on, how to approach them, how to keep their interest and keep them happy, then who could fault that?

Vox, I think you nailed what I was getting at!

I believe in the message, though at times I'm not the most articulate messenger! ;)
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#54
There's a problem though with Stevus and his "system" and with what Vox is saying--

They assume that all men and all women are attracted to the same things.  Human beings are far too varied for that.

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#55
True!
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#56
ErinIsNotNice Wrote:They assume that all men and all women are attracted to the same things.

That all men like boobs and all women like money? You don't say....
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#57
ErinIsNotNice Wrote:There's a problem though with Stevus and his "system" and with what Vox is saying--

They assume that all men and all women are attracted to the same things.  Human beings are far too varied for that.
 
 
Well, it's a straight-up fact that not all men and women are attracted to the same things. That's why I try to be really careful about saying "men as a group" or "most women" and such when I talk about these things. I love people who bust stereotypes and would hate living in a culture that tried to stifle individual differences, but it's still true that there are generalities that can be spoken of. Those generalities won't work with me most times (I don't like to shop for clothes, don't care about shoes, I wouldn't want to receive negligees as gifts, I don't want a diamond tennis bracelet, have never read a romance novel in my life, don't care about the size of the rocks on some girl's engagement ring, etc.), but it's just the way it is that a lot of women like stuff like that. The man I'm married to isn't into sports except the one I like (boxing) and the one he turned me onto (UFC), is extremely communicative, is very able to read my body language, uses smilies in emails, etc., but "most men" aren't like that either. S'all good.
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#58
ErinIsNotNice Wrote:There's a problem though with Stevus and his "system" and with what Vox is saying--

They assume that all men and all women are attracted to the same things.  Human beings are far too varied for that.

I think the system works for any sane woman who is not a lesbian, radical feminista, professional dater, princess, mercenary, gold-digger, psycho, etc.

In other words, the system does the work for you in weeding out the undesirables!

All sane women are attracted to a confident man (who doesn't act clingy or desperate), who is a gentleman, has self-control, is humorous, and (if the relationship is serious) shows romance, respect and affection.

These are core qualities. I think the areas of attraction where men and women differ have to do with personality and appearance. That is the initial interest level. If a girl is into blue collar men who like the outdoors and ride a motorcycle they are naturally going to have less than 50% interest in a guy who works as an accountant and is a metrosexual, no matter how much of the "system" he obeys!

That is where I think individual preference comes in.
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#59
StevusMagnus Wrote:I think the system works for any sane woman who is not a lesbian, radical feminista, professional dater, princess, mercenary, gold-digger, psycho, etc.

In other words, the system does the work for you in weeding out the undesirables!

I have a feeling guys don't need to weed out lesbians [Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif][Image: laff.gif]

But on a serious note, women who don't fit your narrow mold are not "insane" or any of the other nasty things you insinuate.
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#60
Mhoram Wrote:
HappyWife Wrote:a) To find a good wife or husband we should try and overcome a focus on looks, there are MANY diamonds in the rough out there.
Hee, that puts me in mind of this (hope it's not too big):

[Image: gamer-girls2.jpg]

Don't yell at me; I think some of those girls are pretty cute.

Your blonde girl second from the right has a beard.

Weird.  She doesn't look italian at all.

[Image: afraidsmiley.gif]
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