Aspergers and ADHD
#22
voxpopulisuxx Wrote:I have an estranged relationship with my oldest now because we never knew about aspergers. Im ashamed and hurt, and wish I knew then what I Know now. Now hes angry and frustrated with us as we have been with him since he hit puberty. Everyone said from priests to counsilers..."oh hes just 17 thats how they are"...they didnt see the odd behavior, the lack of empathy and affection. The recluse behavior. The lack of empathy being the most maddening. I really wish I could explain clearer to you all the pain weve been through.

Don't beat yourself up.  I had kind of the same thing.  I thought my son was just a geek like his dad.  And he is a geek, but he also has aspergers.

Because of where I work, aspergers and ADHD isn't all that uncommon.  Software engineers are paid to be good programmers, not polite, so that type of behavior is kind of the norm.

My guilt is a little different.  Thinking it was just geekiness, I didn't really correct him or punish him.  Then, he started having trouble socially and academically last year, and his mother (Vox is his stepmom) made things worse because, well, to be polite, she's a problem herself.

To make a long story short, I feel really guility for not seeing that he had something more than geekiness so that I could have stepped in sooner and prevented some of the pain he felt, and I'm sure he still feels, both with bad grades and kids making fun of him.

One night I asked my 12 year old to forgive me, and I was bawling like a baby and the whole bit.  He gave me a hug and forgave me, but I still feel like $0.02, and I probably always will...

If you haven't, you should ask his forgiveness.  Even if he doesn't forgive you, or even if he forgives you but has anger, I think it will go a long way in the end.  If nothing else, it will reaffirm to him that he wasn't doing anything wrong, and, more importantly he will have validation from you on that.
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Messages In This Thread
Aspergers and ADHD - by VoxClamantis - 08-22-2008, 05:53 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 08-22-2008, 09:17 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 08-22-2008, 10:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by britmum - 09-01-2008, 10:45 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 09-02-2008, 02:11 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by jovan66102 - 09-02-2008, 03:52 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-02-2008, 08:01 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 09-02-2008, 08:08 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 09-02-2008, 10:21 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 09-02-2008, 10:28 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 09-02-2008, 10:43 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-02-2008, 10:44 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 09-02-2008, 03:03 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ronyu02 - 09-03-2008, 09:01 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 09-03-2008, 06:07 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-03-2008, 06:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by JesusFreak84 - 09-04-2008, 11:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 03:38 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 12-31-2008, 06:14 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:35 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:38 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:52 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 01-01-2009, 11:53 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 07:57 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 09:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 09:32 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 09:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 10:16 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 10:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 10:37 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 11:24 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Quaesumus - 01-01-2009, 11:33 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 11:37 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Quaesumus - 01-02-2009, 02:09 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-02-2009, 05:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 05:14 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 05:18 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 01-02-2009, 05:26 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-02-2009, 07:07 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Stephanos - 01-02-2009, 07:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 01-02-2009, 07:19 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 08:25 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by bluecarmel - 01-02-2009, 09:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 09:45 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 09:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-04-2009, 10:28 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 12:00 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-05-2009, 07:30 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 07:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 01-05-2009, 08:09 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 08:17 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 01-05-2009, 08:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 08:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-05-2009, 10:57 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-05-2009, 11:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 12:51 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 12:52 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 01:03 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:08 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:15 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:16 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-06-2009, 09:10 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 01:06 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by VoxClamantis - 01-17-2009, 09:06 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-17-2009, 09:16 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 06:23 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 06:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 07:56 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by somerset76 - 01-18-2009, 09:24 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 10:05 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by somerset76 - 01-18-2009, 10:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-18-2009, 10:45 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 07:36 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Lee Timmer - 07-25-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 04:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-25-2009, 06:11 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-25-2009, 06:35 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-25-2009, 07:21 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 08:24 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 08:27 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Joamy - 07-25-2009, 08:42 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by libby - 07-25-2009, 08:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 07-26-2009, 02:11 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 02:24 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-26-2009, 02:56 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-26-2009, 03:36 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-26-2009, 03:46 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by libby - 07-26-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-26-2009, 04:30 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-26-2009, 04:47 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 05:25 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 07-26-2009, 05:38 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 05:46 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-27-2009, 06:16 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 08:36 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 07-27-2009, 09:42 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 10:40 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 11:01 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-27-2009, 11:36 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 11:48 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 11:49 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 12:14 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 12:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-27-2009, 01:21 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 02:33 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 02:37 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-27-2009, 02:41 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 02:48 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:05 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 07-27-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:12 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 04:35 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:52 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 05:02 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 07:31 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 07:34 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 09:45 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 10:18 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-27-2009, 10:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 11:16 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-27-2009, 11:41 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:18 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:21 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-28-2009, 12:27 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:28 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:30 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-28-2009, 02:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-28-2009, 02:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-28-2009, 08:34 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 11:50 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:47 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-28-2009, 12:57 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-28-2009, 01:23 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 01:34 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-28-2009, 05:33 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-29-2009, 05:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Veronica - 08-07-2009, 08:10 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 08-07-2009, 07:22 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 08-09-2009, 04:02 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 08-09-2009, 06:03 PM



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