Aspergers and ADHD
#67
Satori Wrote:<FONT color=#990000>LaRoza: </FONT>I too am very fond at word games. Surely that is abstract? The problems come when it is in a social situation. One problem many have is with time. It is often a cause of great anxiety with people with AS. Being late and others being late is extremely annoying. This being literal is in the context of society.

<FONT color=#990000>Me: </FONT><FONT color=#000000>How is that a problem with taking things literally? You mean you expect people to arrive when they say that will, that you expect events to begin at the time stated? Is that not a case when it is correct to "take things literally"? I hate it when people are late and when they don't do what they said they were going to do; I hate it when I ask my husband when he's coming in to eat his dinner and he says, "In a minute," and then comes in half an hour later. I chalk up this sort of thing to the lack of consideration for others that seems to be endemic to contemporary Western people. Can you give another example of this social literalness?</FONT>

Here is an example:

When the school bus is late, my son gets very upset.  It really throws him for a loop.  It can derange his day.  For most people, it's a pain in the butt, but for him it's more extreme.  How can I put it...

Imagine getting a call one morning from the county clerk that because your name was misspelled by one letter your marriage was not properly recorded and you are therefore not legally married.

The effect on him of the bus being late is similar.  A small thing like being late (or a misspelling) can derange his day (just as finding out you weren't legally married would derange your day).  It upsets him to a degree that many people (NTs?) would find inordinate, and it is hard for him to get past it.

But, maybe LaRoza can more accurately describe the exact mental-emotional impact of a bus being late to someone with AS...

All I can do, it seems, is try to teach him to intellectualize it and reconfigure his thought-process to deal with unforseen events like this.  Then he'll concentrate on what to do next instead of the fact the bus is late (which is also more productive).

Edited to add:

If I had to characterize it more generally, it seems like since he doesn't understand aspects of "social interactions" he doesn't understand why being late is, to most people, a somewhat flexible aspect of social interaction.  He expects some social interactions to follow hard and fast rules, and when those rules are broken, it doesn't compute.

2 + 2 = 4 is a rule. Imagine if suddenly someone says 2 + 2 = 5 and everyone around you says, "Sure, OK" and start balancing their checkbooks using 2 + 2 = 5.  You'd be like, "WTH? NO! 2+2=4 and it always equals 4.  You can't just change it!  It's going to mess everything up!"

Now imagine bus at 8:00 <B>is a rule of the same magnitude</B> and suddenly it comes at 8:05 and you feel compelled to say, "WTH? NO! The bus comes at 8 and it always comes at 8!  You can't just change it! It's going to mess everything up!"

Eh, I'm probably butchering it, but I think LaRoza and a few others will know what I mean and can put it into better terms.
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Messages In This Thread
Aspergers and ADHD - by VoxClamantis - 08-22-2008, 05:53 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 08-22-2008, 09:17 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 08-22-2008, 10:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by britmum - 09-01-2008, 10:45 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 09-02-2008, 02:11 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by jovan66102 - 09-02-2008, 03:52 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-02-2008, 08:01 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 09-02-2008, 08:08 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 09-02-2008, 10:21 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by kjvail - 09-02-2008, 10:28 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 09-02-2008, 10:43 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-02-2008, 10:44 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 09-02-2008, 03:03 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ronyu02 - 09-03-2008, 09:01 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 09-03-2008, 06:07 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 09-03-2008, 06:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by JesusFreak84 - 09-04-2008, 11:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 03:38 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 12-31-2008, 06:14 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:35 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:38 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 12-31-2008, 06:52 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 01-01-2009, 11:53 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 07:57 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 09:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 09:32 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 09:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 10:16 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 10:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-01-2009, 10:37 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 11:24 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Quaesumus - 01-01-2009, 11:33 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-01-2009, 11:37 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Quaesumus - 01-02-2009, 02:09 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-02-2009, 05:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 05:14 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 05:18 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 01-02-2009, 05:26 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-02-2009, 07:07 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Stephanos - 01-02-2009, 07:12 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 01-02-2009, 07:19 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 08:25 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by bluecarmel - 01-02-2009, 09:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 09:45 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-02-2009, 09:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-04-2009, 10:28 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 12:00 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-05-2009, 07:30 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 07:55 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 01-05-2009, 08:09 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 08:17 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 01-05-2009, 08:21 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-05-2009, 08:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-05-2009, 10:57 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by AdoramusTeChriste - 01-05-2009, 11:41 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 12:51 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 12:52 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by mom - 01-06-2009, 01:03 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:08 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:15 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 03:16 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-06-2009, 09:10 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-06-2009, 01:06 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by VoxClamantis - 01-17-2009, 09:06 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-17-2009, 09:16 PM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 06:23 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 06:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 07:56 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by somerset76 - 01-18-2009, 09:24 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 10:05 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by somerset76 - 01-18-2009, 10:37 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 01-18-2009, 10:45 AM
Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 01-18-2009, 07:36 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Lee Timmer - 07-25-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 04:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-25-2009, 06:11 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-25-2009, 06:35 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-25-2009, 07:21 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 08:24 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-25-2009, 08:27 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Joamy - 07-25-2009, 08:42 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by libby - 07-25-2009, 08:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 07-26-2009, 02:11 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 02:24 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-26-2009, 02:56 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-26-2009, 03:36 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-26-2009, 03:46 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by libby - 07-26-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-26-2009, 04:30 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-26-2009, 04:47 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 05:25 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 07-26-2009, 05:38 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-26-2009, 05:46 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-27-2009, 06:16 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 08:36 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by WhollyRoaminCatholic - 07-27-2009, 09:42 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 10:40 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 11:01 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-27-2009, 11:36 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 11:48 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 11:49 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 12:14 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 12:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-27-2009, 01:21 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 02:33 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 02:37 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by ResiduumRevertetur - 07-27-2009, 02:41 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 02:48 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:05 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Melita - 07-27-2009, 04:09 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:12 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Satori - 07-27-2009, 04:35 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 04:52 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 05:02 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 07:31 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 07:34 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-27-2009, 09:45 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 10:18 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-27-2009, 10:43 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-27-2009, 11:16 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-27-2009, 11:41 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:18 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:21 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-28-2009, 12:27 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:28 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:30 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-28-2009, 02:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-28-2009, 02:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by voxpopulisuxx - 07-28-2009, 08:34 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 11:50 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 12:47 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by orate - 07-28-2009, 12:57 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by devotedknuckles - 07-28-2009, 01:23 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 07-28-2009, 01:34 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by DarkKnight - 07-28-2009, 05:33 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 07-29-2009, 05:15 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Veronica - 08-07-2009, 08:10 AM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Dust - 08-07-2009, 07:22 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 08-09-2009, 04:02 PM
Re: Aspergers and ADHD - by Historian - 08-09-2009, 06:03 PM



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