Lord James' profile (Male, San Antonio, Texas)
#21
Spooky Wrote:Oh for crying out loud, the man isn't getting married next week...

Well, you never know.
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#22
HAHA! I was just givin my 2 cents worth ....[Image: afraidsmiley.gif]
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#23
diotima Wrote:It´s not so much the "have nothing" aspect, but the emotional maturity one I had in mind... while you certainly are a mature 20year old, most 20 year olds are NOT ready, emotionally, for a serious, life-long committment, such as marriage. And why should you be? There is sooooo much in life for you to try first, before taking on the responsibilities of married life and possible fatherhood!

I guess you're right. A lot of times, I think I'd rather go out in a jet plane to Hong Kong and "sow my wild oats", but I also don't want to spend the rest of my life paying child support and playing part-time/absentee father. Okay, that probably sounds like a terrible thing to say, but it's true. I just want to do what's best for the soul, not to mention peace of mind.

DarkKnight Wrote:You're so good at self-promotion, I don't understand why the future Mrs. Right (or should that be Rite?) can't find you; she must be terribly lazy.

Maybe you should move on before you even meet her - it would save a world of time!

What do you mean by that?
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#24
CanadianCatholic Wrote:i love being married and having kids and whatnot, but when i see all my freinds, out at college, getting careers, traveling, and knowing I'll never be able to do any of that, its depressing. I was married at 19, with 2 kids (I have a step-daughter, as well as we had a baby before marriage together) and thats it...my life for me was over, i now have to live %100 for my children.

You're not dead yet. This is only a season in your life ... your kids will not need you 100% forever.
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#25
CanadianCatholic Wrote:
gjwalberg Wrote:
diotima Wrote:It´s not so much the "have nothing" aspect, but the emotional maturity one I had in mind... while you certainly are a mature 20year old, most 20 year olds are NOT ready, emotionally, for a serious, life-long committment, such as marriage. And why should you be? There is sooooo much in life for you to try first, before taking on the responsibilities of married life and possible fatherhood!
I couldn't disagree more.
As someone who was married at 19..i couldnt AGREE more. Trust me kid, dont get married till your 35-40...i love being married and having kids and whatnot, but when i see all my freinds, out at college, getting careers, traveling, and knowing I'll never be able to do any of that, its depressing. I was married at 19, with 2 kids (I have a step-daughter, as well as we had a baby before marriage together) and thats it...my life for me was over, i now have to live %100 for my children. Its fine and all, i made that choice i guess, but yuh, theres times i wish i had waited a few years.
I was married at 19, too, and had a baby at 20. Then all my friends were going out on weekends and going to town to work and buying their own things and I was taking care of babies and alone most of the time. But you know what? That feeling passed eventually and I absolutely don't regret it now, many, many, many years later [Image: laff.gif]. I can honestly say now that those same people don't seem to be any happier (and in some cases are not happy at all, unfortunately) or more fulfilled than I am today. I am who I am and the kids are cool and that's pretty good.
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#26
Satori Wrote:
CanadianCatholic Wrote:i love being married and having kids and whatnot, but when i see all my freinds, out at college, getting careers, traveling, and knowing I'll never be able to do any of that, its depressing. I was married at 19, with 2 kids (I have a step-daughter, as well as we had a baby before marriage together) and thats it...my life for me was over, i now have to live %100 for my children.
You're not dead yet. This is only a season in your life ... your kids will not need you 100% forever.

 
Rebecca is right. I had two kids at 17. I never had any more..but that's a topic for another thread. I, too, felt "my life was over" watching my peers attending their senior proms, going off to college, preparing for a career, etc. Moreover I was horribly immature for my age, and had no business being a mother.
 
But.....
 
A mother I was. I did the best I could (with a whole lot of help from my mother and grandmother). When the kids entered school I went back to school myself and finished my education and got some career skills. By the time I was 30 the kids were in high school and I had a steady job that I loved.
 
If there's an advantage to having children too young--- that's it. I'm 52 now, and will probably be able to dance at my great-grandchild's wedding. Some of the girls I envied at 17 aren't as happy or well off as I am today. Not bragging.. Just stating a fact. I've lived long enough to know that a person's situation can change overnight...(or maybe, not lol.)

- Lisa
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#27
LOL thanx for thw words of encouragement ladies :) Including my step daughter, i have 4 now, 3 girls and a baby boy. I love it and all, but i have my days! I just need to get out more!! But I hope i learn to just accept it (something i pray hard for)
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#28
CanadianCatholic Wrote:I just need to get out more!!

"Getting out more" is crucial... let me tell ya.  [Image: laff.gif]

- Lisa
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#29
Lord James! I`m sad to see that you didn`t treat the issue of the conjugal debt; or at least post a macro treating the same.  Perhaps the moderator has to revise the questionnaire
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#30
Tiny Wrote:Lord James! I`m sad to see that you didn`t treat the issue of the conjugal debt; or at least post a macro treating the same.  Perhaps the moderator has to revise the questionnaire

You didn't see my latest macro for NFP? I'll make it more obvious in an edit.

Unfortunately, I regret to inform my fans that my famous "lie still, and think of the empire" macro is......... false advertising. I don't actually plan on wearing a top hat or smoking a pipe while rendering the conjugal debt. I'm more of a "lights-on" lover, honestly.
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