Male, 22, Michigan, fun eccentric pious intellectual

Iâ€m on Ave Maria Singles, but Iâ€m on Christmas Break from school, so Iâ€m trying what I can to find a wife or someone who might lead me to one. I prefer “straight forward” to “blunt”. This is probably my 3rd post on this site since a year ago and my 11th to an active message board in my life, so bear with me.

If you know or might know someone who might be a good match for me, please e-mail me at roger158 at I'm open to any good matches from anywhere in the world.

  • Sex: Male
  • Age as of posting date: 22, as of Dec. 13, 2008
  • Birthdate: Itâ€s in September.
  • Patron Saint by Confirmation: St. Lawrence the Martyr
  • Number of children (e.g. born from: former valid marriage that ended in death of spouse; invalid marriage; rape; past sins, etc. No need to enter details here! Just list number of children you care for): 0
  • Location: East Lansing, MI
  • Would you relocate if you met the right person?
  • Maybe I would. But my jobâ€s not the sort of relocating sort.
  • EF, SSPX, both, or other?
  • Iâ€m not SSPX. If anything, Iâ€m Society of Christ the King Sovereign Priest, but from a distance. Theyâ€re in Chicago. I have no affiliation to these groups I understand to be in schism. But still help me find a wife! :) I am a Catholic. I do greatly prefer the Tridentine Mass and wish it was back completely. And in fact, Iâ€m probably more traditional in my thoughts than any sort of traditional Catholic out there. And I can be, I study history and prehistory. Iâ€m very old-fashioned in the way I think. But I know heresy and schism, and I read into the past of every organization.
  • Novus Ordo if that's all there is?
  • Thatâ€s what Iâ€m doing now. If it gets bad enough, though, I would make the drive each Sunday. But it isnâ€t.
  • Introvert or extravert?
  • Very much an introvert. Yet if you know me, I can talk very much.
  • Keirsey personality type: I forget. I think Iâ€m Blue-Orange. Different test.
  • Ethnic heritage: Polish, German, Austrian, French, Sioux Indian, English
  • Is meeting someone of like ethnicity very important to you, just a bonus, or unimportant?
  • In modern American culture, inter-racial couples face an extra burden which is magnified by where they live.  It's PC for everyone to pretend like cultural differences don't follow race lines, as with the whole Caucaisian/African-American paradigm, but in reality, there's significant cultural barriers, especially for marriage.  So, I guess to me it's just a bonus, one less challenge.
  • Is there an ideal age range for the person you'd like to marry? How important is this?
  • Somewhere within 5 years give or take of my age. I read that younger women go better with older guys, though I can easily imagine how setting this as a barrier would endanger the souls of men (I prefer the older usage of this word to apply to all human beings.)
  • In what manner do you interpret the Church's approval of NFP?
  • I think itâ€s been misrepresented big time. Christ speaks through the example of married saints and our holy ancestors who worked out their salvation through long periods of abstinence. “As much as possible within the Churchâ€s guidelines” isnâ€t going to cut it for Heaven. And for crying out loud, when will they preach from the pulpits CCC 2373 -? Large families is Catholic. Innumerable childless and few child couples is sick and morally decadent. All of Early Church Fathers would agree.
  • What would the headship of the husband look like in your idea home?
  • I would still like to read more. From what I have read, the Catholic Tradition is that the man leads the family in spiritual and physical matters. Honestly, my readings are unclear. Iâ€m not sure if that means that men have the final say in all decision-making or not. Whatever is traditional and Catholic, this is the way I want to go. At the heart of this is a core ideological principle for individuals, society, and more. My leaning is that, with deference to his wife, which is his heart, the husband should have the final decision, but that all manners should be open to discussion. And like I imply, Iâ€m open to being convinced otherwise. Husbands are called to protect, provide, feed, and guard. And both genders are called to love, but in gender-role appropriate manners. They should have the greater share of physical punishment. Discussion should be done away from children and should not reach abusive communication styles. There is an old German saying, “Too many cooks spoil the soup.” I think this is what we face not only as families, but as a nation (and as a Church).
  • How do you feel about women working outside the home?
  • It is not a sad necessity, but a grievous one engineered by Satan alone for the damnation of the world. Women working alongside men is the occasion of billions of impure thoughts and acts. Work should be strictly divided by gender and all wage-payment and job-allocation should follow from the concern for the lucrative support of children, not the healthy single person.
  • How do you feel about women in pants?
  • Literally? If you back far enough, you will see that it is part of a direct assault on God-given gender roles. And I even think that pants donâ€t work for virtue with womenâ€s bodies due to the differences in physiology.
  • Of the seven deadly sins (pride, greed, gluttony, sloth, lust, anger, envy), which is the most challenging for you?
  • Which one or ones? Lust. And any of these buggers stems in Pride.
  • What would others say are your annoying habits or bothersome attributes?
  • Such tough questions. Well, Iâ€m very eccentric. I get excessive and sloppy in my zeal. I enjoy very much talking about my interests –matters that it seems very, very few people are interested in hearing about for more than a minute or two, if that. Iâ€m a huge know-it-all, sadly. I tend to wear my reading and intelligence on my sleeve. Iâ€m also really, really traditional Catholic and Iâ€m more than dead serious about becoming a saint. This drives people nuts. Even ones who havenâ€t barely seen me, sometimes. And some people reading this might dislike that my understanding of the world is very nuanced and un-predictable. I “believe” in non-materialist Evolution, for instance. I also have a great appreciation for ancient pagan societies and religions, within reason. This stuff is part of job, though, people should realize what I do.
  • What are the most important things you desire in a spouse?
  • I want to find someone who also wants to become a great saint, and really do a good job in their life of loving Jesus, even if they remain like Philomena was until the General Judgment. I need someone whoâ€s really, really into the Faith and reads every day about it and prays for at least an hour a day, including the Rosary. She needs to know her Faith, and be learning more. We also need to share many common interests and enough of that personality stuff for good chemistry. I really value compassion and consideration. People need to be able to talk through feelings. We canâ€t isolate one another. We need to understand other human beings, to listen to them and think about where theyâ€re coming from. I look for someone who will be kind to me, and relate to my dilemmas. And I donâ€t think that anyone but someone who prefers the Tridentine Mass will cut it in the long run (until marriage). Iâ€m just way too traditional. Thereâ€s just, like, this certain point in prayer and reading about the Faith that the Tridentine is hands-down the better Ritual format. Most other stuff, I think we could work out.
  • Things you absolutely would not tolerate in a potential spouse:
  • Opposite of above question. Doesnâ€t know the Faith and/or doesnâ€t practice it. Misunderstands/hates the Tridentine Mass. Is ignorant about a whole lot of stuff and not into learning. Likes being stupid. Lacks actual charity for human beings in general and me in particular. Doesnâ€t understand that being alone together is the recipe for disaster and why. Lacks understanding of how men work, what makes them tick and why things like patience and modesty and understanding are important. Worships money in any form. #1 Wants a small family and has all sorts of reasons why.
  • What, if anything, have you learned from past relationships with the opposite sex?
  • LOL. The answer to the above question.
  • Political ideals: Pro-life, pro-numbers is all that will matter until A) Roe vs. Wade is overturned or B) God smite America. After that, I think that government should be completely localized, without central government, and that only proven, active Catholics should be officials. I think that monarchy is the way to go and I think democracy is retarded. Especially on a large scale. I see in Luxembourg a more ideal government. Any sort of socialism is stupid: people should help eachother, not The Government. Centralized Government is going to lead us to the Anti-Christ and more super-genocides. People should have guns and dogs in their homes to protect them for wicked folks. And any state-sponsored education is brain-washing. I certainly think that mothers should be educated enough to be able to educate their children, at home, until the curse which is college. Enough about that.
  • Education: I graduated with mostly good grades from a local high school and a public school for the gifted. I have an Associates in the Humanities, with foci of German language and the Natural Sciences (Chemistry and Calculus). Iâ€ve had a semester each of Anthropology and then Geological Engineering (“because traditional Catholic women marry guys with money and because you need money to have a big family”). Soon Iâ€ll have a Bachelorâ€s of Arts in Linguistics from one of this stateâ€s major universities, with foci in the languages and cultures of Ethiopia and in the French language. After a few years of preparation, Iâ€m going to try to get into one of the five places with graduate programs in Sinology. Iâ€d name the five, but people wouldnâ€t understand how Academia works and would think the wrong things. Itâ€s important I define these because most people donâ€t really know what they are. Humanities is the study (not science) of language, art, philosophy, history and other things related to culture and free-time. Anthropology is the science and study of how people do things in terms of organizing society and interacting with their enviroments (hunting or farming or sitting at a computer). Geological engineering is a science about doing technical stuff that somehow involves the ground. Linguistics is (this surprised me) a very intense science about how and why languages work from as numbers and model-based angle as possible. Itâ€s not at all about knowing languages, itâ€s about knowing and seeking stuff about how languages do their thing. I only like a small sub-field of it. Sinology is the study (not science) of Chinese history using its language (Classical Chinese), and a few related topics. None of that exactly spells out what Iâ€m interested in or going to do for a living.
  • Employment: Iâ€m a professional student with few side-jobs. Iâ€m hoping to become a professor at one of the mentioned 5 schools (or a private liberal arts college, if not), which are mostly Ivy League teaching about (at least) Chinese language, Chinese history, and maybe linguistics, cultural anthropology, history (of early civilizations), and maybe some archaeology. What I teach all depends on what school Iâ€m at and a little bit what Iâ€m educated and experienced in. See intellectual interests below for an explanation.
  • Health:
  • I keep myself pretty fit. I used to be all into sports. I really like sports. I used to do lots of (in order of interest) cross-country, swimming, and soccer. I was a state championship competitor in all these. Now getting out is less of an extra-curricular activity. I really enjoy week-long hikes, walking, and at my last school I did a lot of swimming in lakes, streams, and rivers. Iâ€m totally outdoorsy. All that running and swimming has made for a really slight physique. I lift weights, but Iâ€m just not very bulky. It comes in handy when Iâ€m going through caves. (I really enjoy caving.) Iâ€m 5†9â€â€ and I usually wear glasses, though I want to get contacts again. I eat super-healthy. Lots of fresh vegetables and meat-substitutes like beans and tofu. I usually fast pretty often, like weekly. I drink water and sometimes whole milk. I think candy is evil. But I do study a lot by necessity, so Iâ€m really not as ripped as I could be.
  • Allergies: No allergies.
  • Smoke? No, and I really hate smoking.
  • Drink? No. I had a quasi-alchoholic grandpa and I just hate alchohol in general. Something about losing control, morally and physically, freaks me out.
  • Night owl or morning lark?
  • By nature Iâ€m a morning lark. My readings about the saints make me want to get up as early as I can. And on vacations, I usually get up at 5. Iâ€d do earlier if circumstances would only permit.
  • How messy or disorganized are you?
  • Iâ€m somewhere in between. I can keep things fairly neat or I can let them get messy for a few months and then clean them up. It depends on my roommate, what theyâ€re like and comfortable with. Taking a full classload and doing well requires reliable organization. Iâ€m really into grammar, so I can do organization. I just donâ€t freak out if things arenâ€t just so most the time.
  • What makes you laugh? Lots of stuff. I have a big sense of humor. I mostly have a weird, quirky sense of humor. Iâ€m pretty morbid, so I like dark humor. (Itâ€s an archaeologist thing. We dig bones. Get it?) Iâ€m all uptight about humor involving the Faith because I think itâ€s blasphemy. Like my long-time patron, St. Dominic Savio, Iâ€m known for laughing and taking it easy in “inappropriate” situations. I like puns and irony, even when itâ€s bitter. My last girlfriend I kept laughing for hours on end but the one before that never cracked a smile at anything. I guess it depends on the person.
  • What are the little things that please or delight you?
  • All the particulars about the Tridentine Mass. Discovering new grammatical particles or suffixes. Stuff nature does. Squirrels whenever I see them, no matter what theyâ€re doing. Being so bored in class that I canâ€t feel my extremities. (humor) Anything about really Catholic young women. Finding some hidden nuance in the Scriptures in their original languages. Gaining some insight into how everything works –and knowing that I wouldnâ€t if I hadnâ€t kept studying.
  • What would you like to be doing in 10 years ideally? If you continue on your present course and don't meet the person of your dreams, what do you think you actually will be doing given your gifts and goals?
  • Ideally, Iâ€m married with 10+ kids, working at, say, Harvard or some all-English university in Germany. Iâ€m so advanced in holiness that people around me are afraid Iâ€ll die young while Iâ€m afraid of instant damnation. I donâ€t have to worry about certain problems I have now, and Iâ€m way more ready to kick the bucket than I am at the present time. And I really prayed the Rosary every single one of the days of the past 10 years. And the same for my wife. And the kids are on the best path to sainthood as possible. We live a humble, frugal life of spiritual riches and material self-denial.
  • If I donâ€t find somebody (itâ€s looking likely, unless I cave in and give up the Faith or the Tridentine Mass and some of what it stands for, which is rotten), Iâ€ll still be looking at 32. But maybe not at 42. By then Iâ€ll just be praying especially hard for death or resignation to Godâ€s Will. Where will be my obligations here below when my parents are pushing daisies? I could be doing more in Heaven, hopefully. Iâ€d like to raise some saints and help someone else get to Heaven. But fiat. All goes as planned, Iâ€ll be a 32-year-old associate professor of Sinology at some random university, working my way up the Academia later to tenure.
  • Intellectual interests: My main interests are writing systems with more than 500 characters which look like pictures of things: hieroglyphics. My focus will be on Chinese ones. Iâ€m interested in art, anthropology, history, and especially really dead languages, and super-duper especially ones in those kind of writing systems. This is what I want to do for a living : read stuff written in one or more of these writing systems. How this “translates” into employment is up to what Academia needs during the course of my career.
  • But before all that is my fascination and devotion to the Catholic Faith (Iâ€m not making this up). I read daily some thing helping me to understand and live it better and with more of my being. I have a preference for hagiography, ritual, and anything involving one of the dead languages. Iâ€m a big catechism reader and my chosen sub-fields are Mariology and then Moral Theology and Salvation History. I really, really enjoy the Early Church Fathers and Catholic Art. I also take interest in heresies and paganisms in Light of the One True Religion. For instance, older Buddhisms are actually atrocious and is almost the exact inverse of Catholicism. Such things I discover, though thatâ€s an extreme case.
  • Hobbies: What I study and want to do is pretty much my hobby. Thereâ€s also all the prayer and reading I do for the Faith, and any volunteering I do. I like to visit people in nursing homes and help out homeless women in the urban ghetto. Then thereâ€s what I do for exercise (walk around or whatever). Currently, Iâ€m working on deciphering the language from Disneyâ€s Atlantis The Lost Empire (not actually a kidâ€s movie). Iâ€ve been at it for 2 years now. Iâ€m trying to wrap it up. Itâ€s lots of fun. I also read about random stuff in history. I read The Lord of the Rings a while back, generally enjoyed it. I do read random fiction and non-fiction books. I also make up languages for internet publication. Iâ€m not the only one, itâ€s actually a fairly popular hobby. I also enjoy painting, ceramic sculpture, and singing (baritone) and I used to play the trombone. I love classical music and opera, though I enjoy other types of wholesome music as well (lyrics usually are what forbids music for me).
  • Talents: what are you good at?
  • I have a real knack for cooking, though I live in a dorm and eat in a cafeteria all the time. I used to be really good at dancing until I gave that up. Iâ€m a capital reader and decent studier. Iâ€m pretty good at the stuff mentioned above. Iâ€m good at not doing well in large group situations and at doing well in one-on-one or two person outings. (humor) I know like 5 languages, some of which I can speak in: German, French, Latin, Classical Ethiopic (itâ€s like Biblical Hebrew), Atlantean, and between French and Latin I can pretty much read any Romance language (Spanish, Italian, Catalan, Portugese, Langue dâ€Oc, Romanian, Walloon…).
  • Top 5 Favorite books of all time (Letterman Count-down style):
  • #5 Sophieâ€s World (Hard to describe.)
  • #4 Grimmâ€s Brothers†Fairy Tales (I likes ‘em dark, not Disney.)
  • #3 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Dahl did good work.)
  • #2 The Original Peter Pan (I have a big romantic streak. Youâ€d understand if you read this book.)
  • #1 The Bible (Especially in Latin. Or Douay-Rheims.)
  • The last 5 books you read (don't lie!). Are these books typical of you?:
  • Most Recent to Less Recent.
  • #1 Mass Chaos. (It took me 3 years, it was so boring.)
  • #2 Church History by Fr. Laux. (Iâ€m not kidding you. Itâ€s 1000 pages or something but it was well-read, so it took me less than a year.)
  • #3 Exodus in the Douay-Rheims (a second time in any translation! I love the list of plagues.)
  • #4 The Complete Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (Book-on-CD. I drove home from this internship at a remote National Park in California. They were corny, but amusing, in a British way.)
  • Music you actually listen to most often:
  • Old-School Classical Music. I donâ€t really know song titles and composers like I do 60â€s pop songs but I have a general feel for any given song. I listen to it on my radio for free. I donâ€t buy CDs and I rarely rent DVDs.
  • I also listen to all sorts of other music, but not exclusively and it depends on how Iâ€m feeling and how long of a drive it is.
  • Favorite movies/TV shows: Itâ€s a good thing I love to write. Lots o†questions. The Passion of the Christ. Back to the Future the Trilogy. Star Wars, Classic Trilogy. Indiana Jones the Quadilogy. Lord of the Rings Trilogy. But also: 1990s Romantic Comedies. Old-School Musicals (like Oliver!, My Fair Lady, Hello Dolly!, West Side Story, Annie, etc.) This is not effeminate and it does not make me gay. Dark, artsy fantasy films like What Dreams May Come, The Matrix, Tron, Wall-E (humor), and some obscure Alice in Wonderland that I saw once on Canadian TV, and anything by Tim Burton except horror. I hate all horror.
  • I donâ€t really watch TV. I dislike TV. Waste o†time. However:
  • Man Versus Wild. Batman: The Animated Series (early 1990s). Doctor Who (70s-80s, British). Most stuff on EWTN except the new Divine Mercy song. The Prisoner (again, British, 80s), Batman Beyond (another ‘when I was younger thingâ€), and in my day, I enjoyed Are You Afraid of the Dark? Sabrina: The Teenage Witch (before I converted), Clarissa Explains It All, Legends of the Hidden Temple, Daria, Family Matters, especially the Urkelbot episodes (humor), Reboot, Gargoyles, Recess, Alfred Hitchcock Presents (humor). And somehow: I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show. But I actually really dislike Star Trek and always did. Too atheistic, too many women in spandex for no reason.
  • Favorite foods: Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Mediterranean, Ethiopian. I like octopus and sushi and eating with chopsticks. Stir-fry. I like leafy, green spinach and cranberries and all varieties of apples. I like pasta in all shapes and sizes and colors, with minimal sauce (can you tell Iâ€m fasting?). I enjoy an ever-expanding variety of cheeses.
  • Serious pet peeves: Commas. Why do we use so many? Anything Seinfeld talks about. Stupid people. Sinning people. A lot of stuff about me Iâ€m having trouble changing. Oh, I know! People who talk in Church or answer a cellphone during Elevation. That the priest never states that people have to be in The State of Grace to receive Jesus. “Catholic weddings” (?) before and after I got to my daily holy hour. Youâ€d think theyâ€d never been in one before. Ever. Living in a desolate, Pagan society where almost all the cards are stacked against you. Not being able to find any trad Catholic women. Being painfully lonely and yet being even more painfully shy, with an emphasis on the pain.
  • Pets you have, pets you desire, pets you'd put up with: Who wrote this? This is clever question, I say in Russian accent. No pets. Iâ€ve had cats. I like cats far more than dogs. But I like dogs and pretty much all animals. I like fish, but I donâ€t know why. Gerbils would be fun. Itâ€s going to sound really weird, but in other cultures, pets are also available for consumption as food. I could eat a gerbil right now. (humor, dark humor, morbid, eccentric, etc.)
  • Idea of a romantic (evening):
  • Chaperoned, “unfortunately”, so married romantic evenings are my ideal. Making our way through a hedge maze. Eating at a 5-star French restaurant because I can do anything I want when I dream. Sort-of. Spending an hour in prayer before the Blessed Sacrament together because we love Jesus. Itâ€d be 2 hours if that wasnâ€t scandalous. A walk on the beach. Discussing philosophy. Speaking a language we made up. Or Latin. Cleaning leperâ€s sores at the local leper hospital. (mild humor) Finding cool books at a library and showing them to eachother. That tennis-like game you play in a room where the ball bounces off the walls. Some nice way to end my profile. Thanks for reading, hopefully it was enjoyable.
Quote:In modern American culture, inter-racial couples face an extra burden which is magnified by where they live.  It's PC for everyone to pretend like cultural differences don't follow race lines, as with the whole Caucaisian/African-American paradigm, but in reality, there's significant cultural barriers, especially for marriage.  So, I guess to me it's just a bonus, one less challenge

Why did you revise your original answer.where you mentioned your mother (who needs to be obliged)...but thanks for your honesty.nonetheless....
Thanks for an entertaining read!
I finally notice these responses.  The first one was really, really un-charitable, which is interesting.  That's serious calumny, folks, in case a bad example has been set.  I wouldn't say anything, but hitting a guy when he's down is really low.  Let me give a shout-out for treating lonely-hearts with some compassion.  You'd be troubled afterlife if some faceless profile committed suicide over you getting mean.  This is one of the reasons I stopped encouraging online courtships.

But Mary came to my aid when men had abandoned me.  I met my wife while I was in China, studying the languages and teaching English.  She's from the Philippines and speaks some Austronesian languages.  I converted her to traditional Catholicism and we got along famously. 

It's ironic, this painful jab which I received from a Fish-Eater, because we're an inter-racial couple.  What I wrote on inter-racial couples was really wise.  But my wife and I had real chemistry in terms of personalities and interests.  So I decided it was well worth the risk.

You know, I really had no idea then about inter-cultural relationships, which is most of the problem with inter-racial.  East and West, even in Catholicism, are almost as Night and Day as Woman and Man.  You know, I have to stumble here.  I've had to do some quick reading because I really was ill-prepared.  Very very few people write about how different Eastern and Western Cultures really are and what that means day-to-day.  I don't want to get into specifics because of my baby.

You know, if she gets enough garbage, I'm moving us back to the Philippines.  You know, the only person with enough understanding, heart, and compassion for my situation was an orphan from a 3rd world country?  That says a lot about humans and Americans in general and Catholics in particular, especially traddies.  My baby's been through some hard times, stuff no American or European could even properly imagine.

We met Oct 17 2009, engaged Dec 8 2009, married March 8 2010.  We're glad I studied courtship because I knew just the right questions.

Here's my hope you're doing all you can to become a saint, because if you do or don't, I promise you you're going to meet and defeat someone who is.  So try to be nice traddies.  And avoid the Internet.  It's subtle evil.
Not sure how paragonrose's post was a painful jab...  in fact, I'm confused by both posts.

Congratulations on your marriage!  May you be blessed with many children and enjoy many happy years together!  :champagne:
Congratulations on your marriage! Now go have lots of traditional Catholic kids~!  But like Miss Fluffy I'm not sure what post caused you offense, perhaps it was edited or deleted? In any case don't let that sort of thing get under your skin. God bless you and your wife!

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