What should I wear for my own funeral?
#21
Yeah, I don't get it. The English are eccentric. Though a earlier (late 15th century), these Germans are much more practical. They wait until they die to wear the shroud:

The Knight
[Image: knightburial.jpg]

The Burial of the Stranger
[Image: burialstranger.jpg]

A Dürer engraving (little later)
[Image: buriall.jpg]

How I plan to go out:
[Image: deathlion.jpg]

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#22
German shrouds appear to have sleeves.  Which is peculiar.

They look more like someone sewed the sides and bottom shut on your Snuggie.
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#23
On the topic of Third Order habits:
 
Third Orders used to have them. And religious names and so forth. Most of that got jettisoned after VII.  The more traditional orders still have them.

I  had a full habit to begin with.  Long  sleeves, long skirt, rope, big rosary, big medal, and veil.  We have had to change them because complaints were made that the women's habits looked like nun's habits ( but then most 'nuns' do not have habits, which was also like a slap in the face).

So we had to change. We now have a full and long, front and back scapular covering that is open on the sides. The men have a hood. There is a rope cord and still the big rosary and medal. And the women will wear a mantilla for Mass. So that is what I have now.

I also have a religious name and title.

I feel like a hybrid--which I just told my confessor-- with a piece of me in each world so to speak.  One must balance. First vocation is marriage for those who are married, which I am.
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#24
Great thread.

You know what I can't stand? Not so much what I'll look like when I've gone to join the choir invisible, but WHERE my body will be buried. Whatever happened to being buried under your favourite tree etc? I couldn't care less about clothes or a tombstone, but I'd like my remains to be buried in a place that was special to me in this life.  It's against the law now though.
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#25
Magdalene Wrote:On the topic of Third Order habits:
 
Third Orders used to have them. And religious names and so forth. Most of that got jettisoned after VII.  The more traditional orders still have them.

So we had to change. We now have a full and long, front and back scapular covering that is open on the sides. The men have a hood. There is a rope cord and still the big rosary and medal. And the women will wear a mantilla for Mass. So that is what I have now.

I also have a religious name and title.

I feel like a hybrid--which I just told my confessor-- with a piece of me in each world so to speak.  One must balance. First vocation is marriage for those who are married, which I am.

Where do you wear your habit?  Just to meetings of your Order?  To Mass?  Anywhere you want to?   What Order do you belong to?  Inquiring minds want to know more!  [Image: hellosmiley.gif]

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#26
The_Harlequin_King Wrote:What do men typically get buried in for traditional Catholic funerals? Just plain black suits? But then, if I wore that, then I'd be wearing the same thing as everyone else, since everyone would go to my funeral in a black suit.... and that's just unacceptable. It'd be like a Stevus funeral.
That is hilarious [Image: laff.gif], and I appreciate you're finding it unacceptable.  For you a white linen suit would look good, as would any of your more dramatic outfits, and even the wig!  It is traditional to have a rosary in the hands of the deceased, so have O'Neill make a nice skull one for you.  There is also a crucifix - it sits or is pinned in the lid of the casket during the viewing, then is placed on top of the lid when the casket is closed.  At the commital service at the cemetary the priest will take the crucifix off the casket, bless it, and present it to the family.  You will want to arrange for an appropriate one to be used.  Funeral homes that handle many Catholic services will usually have crucifixes available for this purpose, but I'd guess what they have may not be suited to your tastes.   Since you will be a military veteran you could also have a flag on the casket.  After the crucifix is removed the flag would be folded and presented to the family.   

Personally, I think there is virtue in having a viewing of the remains, when possible, it has us look death in the face.  I feel I've said goodbye more so when there has been a viewing, then when there is just a closed casket or urn.  The casket is always closed and covered by a pall at the Mass, but traditionally open for the Vigil Service/Rosary, which is usually held at the funeral home chapel, but I've been to one held at the deceased's home (with him present), and it is becoming more common in some Ordinary Form parishes to have them at the Church, especially if there will be a lot of people attending, as many funeral home chapels aren't very big.  I've heard of a couple of situations where the deceased was allowed to lie in repose in the Blessed Sacrament chapel during the night.  Another trend I've noticed has been to dress the deceased nicely, but in clothes they would usually wear, which isn't always a suit, or in your case, wouldn't be a dull black suit!

The_Harlequin_King Wrote:And no, I don't actually intend to die anytime soon. But it could happen, you never know.

So very true.  Though I have no current arrangements made, other than my plot at Holy Cross cemetery in Spokane, back in the 1980's I lived in southwestern WA state and was on the parish council of my church.  At one meeting the pastor delivered a spontanious diatribe against the local funeral establishment.  A young Catholic man from the southeast had come to work in a lumber mill and was killed in an accident after just a few month in town.  His family had to make the arrangement long distance, and Father thought they had been taken advantage of in the situation.  Right after that story I went to a different funeral home and made my own arrangements, just in case, and I've done that in a couple of other places I've lived, when I had no family in the immediate area.

The_Harlequin_King Wrote:I dunno, this topic isn't necessarily about me in particular, but as a starter for discussions about burial customs in general.


I'll be buried in a black suit, as I have a nice one.  Working with cows I don't get to dress up often, and I look good in that suit.  I'll have in my hands a rosary that was given to me by my aunt for my confirmation in 1964.  When my father was killed in an accident in 1965 my 2 brothers and I were given crucifixes that were duplicates of the one on his casket.  I hope for that one to be used.  I use to say that I wanted a proper Rosary said at the Vigil, and not one of those new fangled prayer services that were popular right after VII, when everything had to be new and different in some places.  The Rosary is making a big comeback, but I wouldn't mind Vespers from the Office of the Dead being recited also (or chanted!), along with the Rosary.

At the Mass I want my favorite Easter hymn sung: The Strife is O'er, the Battle Done.  (If "On Eagle's Wings" is sung, I plan to seriously haunt somebody from the grave.  It seems to be popular for Ordinary Form funerals, but I dispise that tune).

At the wake I don't want anybody to leave sober or hungry, except through their own fault (I'm speaking metephorically about the sober part, but I hope people will have a few drinks in my memory).

Most of all, I hope there will be a few around who would have thought enough of me to pray for my soul - that is the most important arrangement of all!

Edited to note:  I'm assuming that my funeral would be conducted in the Ordinary Form, but who knows what would be up by the time I go.  In the Ordinary Form I'd prefer purple vestments over white, but it's not something I feel strong enough about to make a fuss over.  If it were a Requiem Mass I hope it could be a High Mass and the Sequence Dies Irae would be chanted.  I'm guessing a jubilent hymn like The Strife is O'er wouldn't fit the rubrics of a Requiem Mass, but I don't know.
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#27
Tuxedo, feathered hat and satin cape. Something simple, yet understated.
Unless the Mormons get ahold of my body, then its polyester jump suit, polyester off-one-shoulder robe with matching baker's cap with green satin apron.

See why I became Catholic? A much classier burial. 

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#28
DarkKnight Wrote:Tuxedo, feathered hat and satin cape. Something simple, yet understated.

Fourth degree Knight of Columbus? Which reminds me, I need to get my 4th degree, but I stopped being especially active in the order when I realized I was the only one in my council without grey hair. Well, not counting prosthetic hair.


moneil Wrote:In the Ordinary Form I'd prefer purple vestments over white, but it's not something I feel strong enough about to make a fuss over.  If it were a Requiem Mass I hope it could be a High Mass and the Sequence Dies Irae would be chanted.  I'm guessing a jubilent hymn like The Strife is O'er wouldn't fit the rubrics of a Requiem Mass, but I don't know.

With the realization that white is very well a colour of mourning, I'm not so anti-white vestments as I used to be. That being said, it's a common but mistaken belief that black vestments are not allowed in the NOM. They are. Here's a good article on the New Liturgical Movement about it. And another about black vestments on All Souls'.

One of the explicit instructions in my funeral directives is to make sure the Latin Dies Irae is used, no matter what, on pain of haunting.
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#29
moneil wrote:

"Another trend I've noticed has been to dress the deceased nicely, but in clothes they would usually wear, which isn't always a suit, or in your case, wouldn't be a dull black suit!"

We lived in a small rural town back in the late Sixties and quite a few of the older men were buried in overalls with their pocket watch, I suppose holding the watch.  (These were elderly farmers whom I never met so I never had occasion to attend the funerals.) In the obituary, it would say "In accordance with his wishes, he was buried in his overalls..."  

BTW, HK, you once wrote about liking pocket watches.  My husband's grandfather considered wristwatches to be effeminate and really objected to his sons wearing them.  "Men wear pocket watches" was his view.


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#30
I want to be buried in my boots so to speak :) I wear all black now, and when asked why, I say I'm going to a funeral. Depending on the person, I may get a blanket "I'm sorry" and a question about whose funeral I'm going to and I say "my own, and I want to be prepared". That is not really why I wear all black, but it is more interesting than the real reason. 
I too do not like wrist watches and want a pocket watch (I used to have one, and I can't find one now to buy. Anyone who knows a good place to get them, cheap and best, let me know please). I don't think wrist watches are effeminate, just annoying.
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