Good Wifey
#1
so b4 marriage and kids i was one of those feminist idiots who thought stay at home moms and obedient wives were all outdated. Thank God i must have received graces from starting my family b/c now i want more than ever to be an obedient wife and excellent catholic mommy. However i sometimes struggle with my old feminist ideals when it comes to dealing with my husband. are there any books that can give me pointers on how to be a good catholic wife? I know the bible has set the rules which i want more than anything to follow, i was just looking for maybe modern day examples, to show me when i just have to shut up and realise he is the head of the household and its just my job to support his decisions.
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#2
:puke:
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#3
Erin?
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#4
Oh, I see you responded while I was calling for you.
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#5
Just remember that being submissive and obedient does not mean bowing to his every wish, desire, thought, and statement. 
Marriage is a partnership, and you are equal to each other in that partnership.  However, you and your husband are a symbol of the Church and Christ.  Christ is the head of the Church, as a husband is the head of a household.  At times where a decision must be made about some event in your life, in raising children,  etc, your husband is supposed to have the ultimate authority.  But you are there to help,guide, and yes, advise,  him, too.  And as Christ died for the Church, he must be willing, in theory, to give the ultimate for you....

Christina
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#6
Ohmigoodness...well if you so determined to be so docile Im sure it will all be fine....
So, as a happily married for about 6 years now, 4 kids later..There is no reason to be meek. Its all about equality an respect, and any dude worth marrying would never expect his wife to stand down and accept his decisions without her input.
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#7
(04-21-2009, 09:38 AM)CanadianCatholic Wrote: Ohmigoodness...well if you so determined to be so docile Im sure it will all be fine....
So, as a happily married for about 6 years now, 4 kids later..There is no reason to be meek. Its all about equality an respect, and any dude worth marrying would never expect his wife to stand down and accept his decisions without her input.

Well now, slow down a little. I know what you mean, but be careful using the word "meek." Jesus was meek and so should we all be. That's not the same as being docile, which I agree isn't a particularly desirable trait.
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#8
:puke:

Once I've gotten over your use of "wifey," I'll give you a thoughtful answer.  (See my profile. "Wifey" is my pet peeve.)

:bubbles:

Okay.  I was never raised to be feminist.  My own mother was at home with us, and I liked not having to be a "latchkey kid."  However, I strongly disliked the idea of the wife just shutting up and bowing down to the decisions of the almighty man.  When my mother would answer my, "Why can't we X?" with, "Because your father says so and he's the head of the house," I would just about lose it.  Even now, I often encounter an interior resistance to doing what my husband asks of me, just because it would require some humility on my part.  Unfortunately, we will only ever gain humility by practicing it!

I agree completely with Christina.  Submissiveness does not equal subservience.  I tend to view the husband's position as "first among equals."  I am trying to be more willing to defer to my husband on relatively inconsequential matters, such as how to spend our Sunday afternoon.  (E.g. I want to stay home; he wants to visit someone.)  On more weighty matters, such as how to spend our money, I expect more discussion.  We haven't ever flatly disagreed with each other, but that is probably when you most deliberately must choose to be submissive to your husband's will. 

Submissiveness is a lot more palatable when the one to whom you are submitting is Christlike!  Indeed, that is the ideal.  I once read that "submitting oneself" to another means "to put oneself under the mission" of another.  In the case of husband and wife, the wife is putting herself "under the mission" of her husband; that is, to bring the entire family to Heaven.  When the goal of the family is eternal life, it really helps to put the everyday things into their proper perspective.  My husband and I pray for this clear understanding of our purpose in marriage every day.

God bless you, Mrs. Smith!  God has given us wives a wonderful opportunity to cure us of being "sick with self-love."
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#9
I think it's a matter of determining whether the cause of your movement to action is akin to your pain nerves giving feedback to the brain that something is wrong or if is it pride taking over.
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#10
(04-21-2009, 12:12 PM)Hotspurcantresistposting Wrote: I think it's determining whether the cause of your movement to action is akin to your pain nerves giving feedback to the brain that something is wrong or is it pride taking over.

Run-on sentence fail.  But I think I know what you mean.
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