Found a Watchtower in the front door today
#11
I wish some Mormons or JWs would come to my door.  I'd let them in alright.  Ask them if they wanted to stay for a chat and some cookies.  We'd sit down and I'd pretend to be so very confused with life and interested in what they had to say... then BAM! I'd nail em with holy water hiding under the table.  I'd come at em with Aristotle and Aquinas.  Then, when, working with their surprise, I'd appeal to ontological arguments and Natural Law.  They wouldn't stand a chance.  Siiting ducks, those Mormons.
Reply
#12

JWs train intensively for what they call "going out in service" and what most people call "bothering me at home."

They are programmed with answers to any questions you raise about their strange beliefs.  Members of my immediate family became JWs so I am better acquainted with their beliefs than I ever wanted to be.  They used to subscribe to "Awake!" and "The Watchtower" for me and I read a lot of them to find out what they were all about.  They never could explain why they go out and knock on doors except to refer to Jesus, at which point I'd remind them that Jesus never went door to door. 

You could pick one or two Catholic beliefs and show them how the Bible supports those beliefs but there's a good chance they will try to turn it around by jumping to another topic.  Their ears are closed to outsiders.  You could also have some good Catholic leaflets on hand to give to them when they give you their literature, and pray they are curious enough to read what you give them. 

Or you could just tell them you're part of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and don't need their literature, thank you very much.  The mention of the word "Catholic" usually means they'll give up on you as they are very anti-Catholic, though when new JWs get assigned to your territory, they may try again.  A good Catholic dog helps, too.  My Labs have all been able to spot JWs in the driveway.  :laughing:

Like cold call salespeople, they have to make X number of calls a week but they get credit for just leaving literature so not answering the door is also a good option.
Reply
#13
(09-09-2009, 02:13 AM)PaxVobiscum Wrote: JWs train intensively for what they call "going out in service" and what most people call "bothering me at home."

They are programmed with answers to any questions you raise about their strange beliefs.  Members of my immediate family became JWs so I am better acquainted with their beliefs than I ever wanted to be.  They used to subscribe to "Awake!" and "The Watchtower" for me and I read a lot of them to find out what they were all about.  They never could explain why they go out and knock on doors except to refer to Jesus, at which point I'd remind them that Jesus never went door to door. 

You could pick one or two Catholic beliefs and show them how the Bible supports those beliefs but there's a good chance they will try to turn it around by jumping to another topic.  Their ears are closed to outsiders.  You could also have some good Catholic leaflets on hand to give to them when they give you their literature, and pray they are curious enough to read what you give them.   

Or you could just tell them you're part of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and don't need their literature, thank you very much.  The mention of the word "Catholic" usually means they'll give up on you as they are very anti-Catholic, though when new JWs get assigned to your territory, they may try again.  A good Catholic dog helps, too.  My Labs have all been able to spot JWs in the driveway.   :laughing:

Like cold call salespeople, they have to make X number of calls a week but they get credit for just leaving literature so not answering the door is also a good option.

Do they often hate the Church for weird, conspiratorial reasons?  I'd just tell them that if they don't get off my property I'm calling some Jesuits.
Reply
#14
(09-09-2009, 02:18 AM)Walty Wrote:
(09-09-2009, 02:13 AM)PaxVobiscum Wrote: Or you could just tell them you're part of the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and don't need their literature, thank you very much.  The mention of the word "Catholic" usually means they'll give up on you as they are very anti-Catholic, though when new JWs get assigned to your territory, they may try again.  A good Catholic dog helps, too.  My Labs have all been able to spot JWs in the driveway.   :laughing:

Do they often hate the Church for weird, conspiratorial reasons?  I'd just tell them that if they don't get off my property I'm calling some Jesuits.

:laughing:  Bring in the Jesuits!

You should know that they love to be told to get off the property, cursed, threatened, anything that allows them to feel persecuted.  So unless you want to make them happy. . .

As I recall, it's the usual "The Catholic Church is the Whore of Babylon" and "The Pope is the AntiChrist" sort of stuff but my JW family members are long dead so I'm not really up on it. 

Oh, yeah, when the world didn't end (again) in 1975, headquarters decided that the world had really ended but nobody knew but them, that Christ is in control now.  It's like Scientology except they use the Bible and they don't pay as much. 

Reply
#15
(09-09-2009, 02:09 AM)Walty Wrote: I wish some Mormons or JWs would come to my door.  I'd let them in alright.  Ask them if they wanted to stay for a chat and some cookies.  We'd sit down and I'd pretend to be so very confused with life and interested in what they had to say... then BAM! I'd nail em with holy water hiding under the table.  I'd come at em with Aristotle and Aquinas.  Then, when, working with their surprise, I'd appeal to ontological arguments and Natural Law.  They wouldn't stand a chance.  Siiting ducks, those Mormons.

My uncle was involved with the Witnesses for some years, but he's since gone on to even kookier pastures, claiming that the Witnesses are tainted by "pagan influences." He's now a member of a polygamist, Judaized cult, complete with a charismatic leader nicknamed Buffalo Bill who proclaims prophecies of impending nuclear war. It's a terrible thing, and he's not a wealthy man, but much of what he owns he has turned over voluntarily to the cult. Rather than becoming disillusioned after these mistakes, he has only grown more committed to the sect, perhaps because to do otherwise now would mean confronting the fact he has wasted so much. He now observes the Sabbath on Saturdays, goes about door-to-door, places pamphlets on the windshields of vehicles at church parking lots, and refuses to give the slightest observation of Easter, Christmas, or even birthdays.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Yahweh

Anyway, with these folks, and likewise with the Witnesses, "pagan" philosophers aren't going to do much good, and I can say this from experience. The perception among them is that the true, original Christian faith is purely Semitic, purely Hebraic, and can permit no influence from the Greeks, and this is despite evidence within the Bible itself that Paul was a literate man familiar with the intellectual currents of his day, such as Stoicism, and even quotes Greek poetry in hexameter on the Areopagus. Anything "pagan" in origin, "pagan" in affect, or "pagan" in even the most remote, accidental, or attenuated sense, subjectively determined, of course, is immediately declared a corruption, utterly untrustworthy, and an invalid ground upon which to argue. There is no concept of reason as an instrument to approaching truth, no concept of deduction from first principles. If you do choose to go ahead, I give you my earnest encouragement. Being made to sound as ridiculous as one's beliefs may be a sort spiritual balm.
Reply
#16
(09-09-2009, 02:18 AM)Walty Wrote: Do they often hate the Church for weird, conspiratorial reasons?

Walty, we're talking about Witnesses, not trads.
Reply
#17
(09-09-2009, 07:28 AM)WhollyRoaminCatholic Wrote:
(09-09-2009, 02:18 AM)Walty Wrote: Do they often hate the Church for weird, conspiratorial reasons?

Walty, we're talking about Witnesses, not trads.

I shouldn't be laughing this hard so ealry in the morning.
Reply
#18
LOL.
Good one.
But funny as it is remember its the councilor church which hates us.
Sip sip
Reply
#19
(09-09-2009, 02:09 AM)Walty Wrote: BAM! I'd nail em with holy water hiding under the table.
They wouldn't stand a chance.  Siiting ducks, those Mormons.
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Reply
#20
answer the door with a cigarette in your hand and ask them in because you just prayed to the Holy Ghost and you want to tell somebody about it.

easy peasy, WRC.
Reply




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)