Attending Protestant Weddings
#21
Attending protestant weddings?

Would you attend a satanist wedding?
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#22
Maybe I'm not following the thread correctly, but as I read it, I think we have two different scenarios:

1. A wedding of a Catholic in a non-Catholic setting;

2. Non-Catholic wedding ceremonies involving non-Catholics.

Now two baptised Protestants marrying in a Protestant church would be validly married. Non-Catholics are not bound by the ecclesiastical law that requires a Catholic party to marry before a Catholic priest. The spouses themselves are the ministers of the Sacrament and the priest the witness of the Church only. Two baptised Protestants marrying would be validly married. May one attend, as a Catholic? My understanding is that, pre-Vatican II, the rules were stricter - one could go, or at least get permission to go from ones pastor (this applied to funerals too), on condition one did not actively take part in the religious ceremony. That was forbidden. It normally only applied to close family. Some priests and bishops may have taken a stricter line than others, others more permissive, I do not know. As I understand it, the rules today are basically one may go, but not take part in the specially religious aspects of the ceremony (though, paradoxically, I think one is not forbidden from being best man or bridesmaid or pall bearer or the like). This latter part I am not 100% certain on. However, the attitudes are much lax today - unfortunately. Certainly, at least in the years preceding VII, one could go on certain conditions.

As for a Catholic marrying in a non-Catholic setting - this would normally be seen as invalid. In this case, and in cases of other irregular or invalid unions, I think that traditional teaching and law would prohibit a Catholic from attending. There may be exceptions to this, but somehow I doubt it. Then again, we live in an era when the rules have become too lax, so you never know.

God bless.
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#23
(11-10-2009, 06:30 PM)Beware_the_Ides Wrote: SaintRafael, you are mistaken.  Catholics may not attend non-Catholic weddings (or funerals or other worship services).  Not only may they not attend the wedding, they may not attend the reception nor send a gift.

We may attend them if those getting married are both non-Catholic and both have never been Catholic. Protestants and Pagans who get married together have a valid marriage. They have never been part of the true religion. Canon Law and Church rules do not apply to them. We can attend their valid marriage, but not take an active participation in their false religion which would be a sin against our true religion.

They are married according to the natural law and have natural law marriages, not the sacramental marriages of the true faith. God has always recognized the valid marriage of pagans even before the Old Testament, Abraham, and Israel. Marriage is the oldest institution in the world predating the Catholic Church and Israel.

What you said is all true when one of the participants is a baptised Catholic who is bound to Church marriage rules.
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#24
(11-11-2009, 01:14 AM)Bonifacius Wrote: Thanks!  If the AudioSancto website says otherwise, they're mistaken.  Even non-sacramental, non-Catholic marriages *may* be, under the right circumstances, perfectly valid. 

Actually in the AudioSancto sermon, the priest made it clear he was talking about marriages where one of the participants was baptised Catholic. He said he was not talking about two Anglicans or other Protestants from birth.
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#25
(11-11-2009, 03:56 PM)SaintRafael Wrote: Actually in the AudioSancto sermon, the priest made it clear he was talking about marriages where one of the participants was baptized Catholic. He said he was not talking about two Anglicans or other Protestants from birth.
Okay, strange question:

What exactly makes someone a Catholic for these purposes?

I have a friend who says she was baptized Catholic as a baby, then never set foot in a Catholic church again.  Should I not attend her wedding?
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#26
(11-11-2009, 06:02 PM)Dust Wrote: Okay, strange question:

What exactly makes someone a Catholic for these purposes?

I have a friend who says she was baptized Catholic as a baby, then never set foot in a Catholic church again.  Should I not attend her wedding?

Good question. I know lots of people who have only visited a Catholic church once: when they were being baptized as a baby.
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#27
(11-11-2009, 08:36 AM)tridentinist Wrote: As for a Catholic marrying in a non-Catholic setting - this would normally be seen as invalid. In this case, and in cases of other irregular or invalid unions, I think that traditional teaching and law would prohibit a Catholic from attending.

The thing is - this is a relatively new dilemma the Catholic faces. When I was kid very few people divorced or married outside of the faith. Even when I was a teenager and my parents divorced, it was nowhere near as common as it is now. The fact that my mother insisted my father become a Catholic before she married him, shows the stigma attached to interfaith marriages back then.

Now, every Pre-Vatican II Catholic knew divorce was forbidden, but there was still much confusion regarding divorce, remarriage, and annulments. The subject was not preached from our pulpits or expounded upon in our catechisms because it just didn't touch our lives. And when it did - ignorance abounded. When my mother divorced my father, she assumed she was automatically excommunicated and quit coming to Mass. She wasn't the only one. Support groups for "Divorced & Separated Catholics" sprang up in the 70s and 80s when more marriages started disintegrating. It wasn't until my mother attended a few of these meetings that she discovered she was NOT excommunicated simply because she was divorced. She was only barred from the sacraments if she remarried without an annulment (she never remarried, though my father did). 

Less perplexing was the question of attending weddings of those outside the Church or of lapsed family members who remarried. We grew up thinking blood was thicker than anything. If a brother or a sister or a cousin went bad, you stuck together through thick and thin, from "womb to tomb." We weren't too familiar with the Bible verse that said to deny your family and choose religion first, but we were familiar with the Ten Commandments which said to "honor thy father and mother." We were taught family honor and respect of elders. We wouldn't pull out of a family wedding any more than we'd pull out of a family funeral.

Today, because of escalating divorces and remarriages, Catholics are faced more and more with the dilemma of choosing faith over family. I've seen what has been said about it on traditional Catholic boards and I've heard EWTN priests and apologists tell people to stay away from their relatives' invalid weddings. I'm still not sure I agree with that. We attend the wedding not because we approve of their infidelity, but because we're family and we love each other, even when we're wrong. That's what families do.

- Lisa
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#28
But you can love without accepting. Sometimes you have to make a strong stand for God. If you cant do the very least (not attending an invalid ceremony) then where are the lines? By being there, you are misleading them and others into thinking you , a Catholic, accept it. People are going to assume you do, unless you hold a billboard over your head explaining your views. And thats giving Catholicism a bad name, it looks hypocritical. My little sister is a lesbian, and I love her SO much. But I would and will NEVER allow any "partner" of hers in my house, or near my children. Nor would I EVER attend any kind of "marriage" she would try to enter. Its no different, in the long run, then an invalid marriage. Both are invalid, in the eyes of God. Would you attend a gay wedding, if it was a family member? Its really no different.
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#29
Well put, CC.  There's also the fact that sentimentality is not true love.  If we truly love people, we aren't going to act in a way that will mislead them into thinking gravely sinful things they're doing are okay.  If we truly love people, we care more about their souls not being damned than we care about their feelings being hurt.  Because of the times we've refused to please our family by denying our faith, many of them have years down the line come to us and said we were right, and they were wrong, and if we hadn't taken the stands we did they would have never had to think about it.
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#30
(11-11-2009, 09:49 PM)goggleeyes Wrote: Well put, CC.  There's also the fact that sentimentality is not true love.  If we truly love people, we aren't going to act in a way that will mislead them into thinking gravely sinful things they're doing are okay.  If we truly love people, we care more about their souls not being damned than we care about their feelings being hurt.  Because of the times we've refused to please our family by denying our faith, many of them have years down the line come to us and said we were right, and they were wrong, and if we hadn't taken the stands we did they would have never had to think about it.
Very true
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