Alcoholism
#11
(12-02-2009, 11:57 AM)Rosarium Wrote:
(12-02-2009, 01:59 AM)John92 Wrote: After I quit pot I went on with cigs for a while.  These gave a brief amount of pleasure, I mean it was something to look forward to and structure my day around.  Now I've quit them too, for the sake of the conversion of my father (and my own health!)  Problem is I'm REALLY in a bad state now, and the feeling that I'm never going to feel "good" again is overwhelming. 
For some people, addiction comes very easily. You should not use substances which have the risk. I recommend you seek out a qualified professional to help you and talk with your priest about this. This is very serious.

Quote:Now I'm getting into alcohol.  I'm Irish, Hiberno-Norman to be specific, and I come from a long, noble (literally :D) line of functioning alcoholics. 
People with alcoholism in the family shouldn't drink at all. They could become one with very little effort.

Quote:(and won't, because it'll reveal me for the whiny little b***h I am).
When you need help, don't be afraid to seek it.

Quote:Is it a sin to get buzzed every day?  Is it a sin to drink 3 or 4 beers every evening?  Is it a mortal sin?  Venial?  Also I'm not in a state of grace right now,

A sin? Maybe. It can be a mortal sin or a venial sin or no sin at all depending on consent and your will. Based on what you said, the single acts of drinking are a compulsion so probably aren't in themselves a mortal sin, but you should address the problem as best you can and as quickly as you can.

This isn't normal, and you should get help.

What he said...
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#12
John,

I would ditto what everybody else has said, though I'd add that you do seem like you possibly suffer from real depression. I have gone through phases like that myself, which involve intensive, isolating self-analysis to the point of absurdity and self-disgust, feeling trapped inside yourself, etc. Absolutely the best thing to break out of that is to get a job serving people. It can be at a restaurant clearing tables or at a nursing home helping nurses, but there is simply nothing like a physically demanding, people-oriented job to break you out of your own silliness and give you a greater sense of connectedness with people. Working on a farm might not be the best thing for you. That's my two cents, I claim no professional ability to diagnose you or anything. But if you can get a job like that, see if that helps.
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#13
John,

Everybody here has offered some great advice. I can really sympathize with your predicament, having struggled with drugs and alcohol for many years now myself. These days, fortunately, I don't have ready access to any of the "hard" stuff, but I still smoke weed and drink more heavily than I ought to. I'm always rationalizing the former ("marijuana isn't really a drug"), but it's BS because I know that I feel absolutely lousy when I've been smoking day in and day out. Pot and heavy alcohol use really screw with one's mood, and I've found that they make it much easier to fall into other sins as well. My spiritual life suffers greatly when I've been smoking a lot-- except, there are times when I really love getting high and reading spiritual literature. Prayer, however, doesn't work as well at all.

I can say that, from my own experience, it can be very difficult to confront this temptation head-on (as with many other sins, especially lust). Instead of focusing on battling the urge to drink, focus instead on prayer and serving Christ. If you're just trying to tackle the sin, then the sin remains the center of your vision. It sounds like you need a new center. Now, this doesn't mean that all your problems will magically fade away, but I think you'll find, as I have, that with time they become much less important and you desire to seek out intoxication less and less. On the first Sunday of Advent, I was praying after Mass and suddenly felt compelled: I had to give up alcohol during Advent. I really, really didn't want to, but my conscience was poking me something awful. So, I promised God I would abstain, and by his grace I haven't had a drink since. Also, I've only smoked herb once in the last 2 weeks, as opposed to all day every day, as I'm prone to. I don't plan to stop drinking entirely, but I definitely need to dry out for a while.

Obviously, I need to give up pot entirely and stop making excuses for myself. I commend you for doing so. I also know what it's like to be "polysubstance dependent"-- i.e., it doesn't matter what you're using, just so long as you stay f***ed up (beer, opiates, pot, Nyquil, whatever's available). It sucks, but I also think that the depths to which I sunk while in the worst of my addictions allowed me to be more receptive to Christ's call: I obviously couldn't handle all that on my own.

As a fellow struggler with these issues, I will keep you in my prayers. Keep your attention on Christ and His Mother, rather than on your struggle with addiction, and they will surely pour grace on you.

:pray: An Ave for you :pray: An Ave for me :pray: An Ave for all who struggle with substance abuse

EDITED to add:

Also, try exercise. Swimming laps especially might help you quit smoking cigarettes in due time. It eventually becomes too painful to do both; I quite swimming because of that, but obviously that was stupid and the real answer is to quit the cigs, not the pool.
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#14
You've gotten some good advice, here, and I'd like to add more, but I can't, so...  :pray2:. 




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#15
I believe the pc term is chemicaly challanged.
Addictive personality isn't a pc term. Its a term used to describe people who just seem to get addicted easily to substances or behavoirs ie gambling porn u name it.
I'm not an addict but I have seen it ravage and destroy friends and family. I'm no alcholic either though I drink daily and drink allot. Its about control. Addiction isn't even a medical term properkly speakong. I did a 2 courses in pychopharmacology years ago ohhhh 94 or so and the prof only braught addiction up first class to inform us that the term willnot be used in the course because the term is preety meaningless and we were concerned with chemicals and how they effect the brain without getting into political definitions which is what addictipn is. Not saying addiction doesn't exist it does but its about definitipn. Unless ur speakin of drugs which have very stark physical dependence properties ie heroin or all opiates it doesn't hold with drugs like cocain and then completely becomes meaningless with behavoirs such as gambling where no drugs are present. Anyhoooooo
My point thpough long winded is
If u identify as an addict or a perspn who is addicted u r giving power to the chemical. Either u maintain ocntrol or stop. If u can't maintain control then stop! Its about control. Yes u can drink every day. But u must respect the drink. Once u lose that ur a drunk same goes for pot.
If it had a negative effect on u then good u dropped it. But its not the plant whcih is sinfull. It is good. It is how u use it and why. I know 2 trads who use it often. Helps with prayer ect so they say.
Anyhoo. A tip
commitment lad. If u commit to stop for say a month and don't u know a plm is there. Always keep ur commitment to yourself.
Sip
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#16
(12-07-2009, 11:14 PM)elizabee Wrote: John,

I would ditto what everybody else has said, though I'd add that you do seem like you possibly suffer from real depression. I have gone through phases like that myself, which involve intensive, isolating self-analysis to the point of absurdity and self-disgust, feeling trapped inside yourself, etc. Absolutely the best thing to break out of that is to get a job serving people. It can be at a restaurant clearing tables or at a nursing home helping nurses, but there is simply nothing like a physically demanding, people-oriented job to break you out of your own silliness and give you a greater sense of connectedness with people. Working on a farm might not be the best thing for you. That's my two cents, I claim no professional ability to diagnose you or anything. But if you can get a job like that, see if that helps.





This has nothing to do with the OP but I see it says as of Dec 7, 1 week and 1 day till your wedding day. Congrats!. But I thought the church did not have martriages during Advent and Lent?  ???
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#17
(12-11-2009, 12:34 PM)In nomine Patris Wrote:
(12-07-2009, 11:14 PM)elizabee Wrote: John,

I would ditto what everybody else has said, though I'd add that you do seem like you possibly suffer from real depression. I have gone through phases like that myself, which involve intensive, isolating self-analysis to the point of absurdity and self-disgust, feeling trapped inside yourself, etc. Absolutely the best thing to break out of that is to get a job serving people. It can be at a restaurant clearing tables or at a nursing home helping nurses, but there is simply nothing like a physically demanding, people-oriented job to break you out of your own silliness and give you a greater sense of connectedness with people. Working on a farm might not be the best thing for you. That's my two cents, I claim no professional ability to diagnose you or anything. But if you can get a job like that, see if that helps.





This has nothing to do with the OP but I see it says as of Dec 7, 1 week and 1 day till your wedding day. Congrats!. But I thought the church did not have martriages during Advent and Lent?  ???

Thank you! Well, the new code doesn't forbid it, it seems to be at the pastor's discretion. We were worried about this date initially, because our pastor is very old-school and it is conceivable that a priest would forbid marriages falling within Advent, but he has no problem with it, God bless him.
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#18
thank you all for the kind replies . . . honestly you helped so much.

I haven't been on in a while, I was very embarrassed for posting like that.  in vino verum and all that . . .  I felt really bad about revealing so much about myself to strangers, but I'm glad I did because y'all gave me good advice.

Honestly I'm drunk right now, but I know I need to stop.  Quitting weed was a big sacrifice to God for me, for me to start drinking as a replacement for weed makes my sacrifice useless.

Thank you so much, really.  I have to hink about this for a while.

I might well drink later on in life, but not like this, not gettingd runk every night.  That's just stupid and will send you to Hell (or could anyway) regardless.

Sorry I was so melodramatic, I'm extremely embarassed haha.  I was being truthful but I shouldn't have said so much to people I don't know!

I don't even like being drunk, though being tipsie is very pleasnat for me.  Being drunk just makes me feel sick, while being a little buzzed feels like weed basically only less fun :P

Meh I'll porbably be embarassed for this post too, but I just wanted to thank you all.  Y'all are good people.
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#19
Aw thanks for updating us John. You've been in my thoughts and prayers. Don't be embarrassed, you maybe got a bit of the help/prayers you need, so whatever, right? :) Still praying.
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#20
Don't be embarrassed mate, God knows I've done much more embarrassing stuff while fluthered!

pax
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