How to convert her??
#11
You should have each known where the other stands on these issues before you started dating, though.  Putting this off isn't going to accomplish anything, only make it harder on you both if you can't come to an agreement later.  Trust me, just get it out there and talk about it.  Better sooner than later.
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#12
(04-20-2010, 05:10 PM)cgraye Wrote: You really shouldn't be dating someone with whom you have a fundamental difference in values.  You should have a serious talk with her about the differences, your positions, and the reasons for them.  If she is unwilling to accept or at least consider that, then you should probably end it, because it's not going to end up anywhere good.  You can't really change anyone's mind, so there are no tricks to this - just have an honest talk and see how it goes.

I think Chris has a good point here.  There appear to be some very serious differences (at least in worship and lifestyle) between you and your girlfriend and you can't overlook how that would most definitely effect any possible marriage or children you would have.  The contraception issue is something you would need to agree on if you got married as it is pretty fundamental to both your idea of marriage and your goals in your married life.

Keep with it, man.  Talk to her.  Take her to Mass.  But don't push her.  Lead by example and see how it's going in a month or two and reevaluate.
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#13
(04-20-2010, 05:27 PM)Walty Wrote: Keep with it, man.  Talk to her.  Take her to Mass.  But don't push her.  Lead by example and see how it's going in a month or two and reevaluate.

Thank you! I did ask her to come with me to the TLM and she agreed as she has never witnessed that Mass.

As far as the contraception issue, she is against it, but does not think it's evil per say....She has a hard time believing it is bad because of her medical condition, like I said... It sounds like she has a hard time looking beyond the modernistic problems in society today... Perhaps I should let her read Humanae Vitae, as she probably doesn't even know it exists.
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#14
(04-20-2010, 05:00 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote:
(04-20-2010, 04:58 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote: Does she understand it?

I THINK she understands it, but I don't know. Her Dr. says she needs to be on contraception because she has a medical problem with her reproductive system.

Um, it isn't contraceptive if it isn't contracepting. Just because the substance is marketed as a contraceptive, that doesn't mean that is all it can do.

Also, at this point, I do not think it matters (except for medical reasons), unless she is doing anything that is life creating.
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#15
(04-20-2010, 05:32 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote:
(04-20-2010, 05:27 PM)Walty Wrote: Keep with it, man.  Talk to her.  Take her to Mass.  But don't push her.  Lead by example and see how it's going in a month or two and reevaluate.

Thank you! I did ask her to come with me to the TLM and she agreed as she has never witnessed that Mass.

As far as the contraception issue, she is against it, but does not think it's evil per say....She has a hard time believing it is bad because of her medical condition, like I said... It sounds like she has a hard time looking beyond the modernistic problems in society today... Perhaps I should let her read Humanae Vitae, as she probably doesn't even know it exists.

The fact that she agreed to go with you is a good sign. Whatever you do, don't argue or push her. That will only turn her off to tradition. Be gentle and encouraging, and explain things simply.
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#16
(04-20-2010, 05:32 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote: As far as the contraception issue, she is against it, but does not think it's evil per say....She has a hard time believing it is bad because of her medical condition, like I said... It sounds like she has a hard time looking beyond the modernistic problems in society today... Perhaps I should let her read Humanae Vitae, as she probably doesn't even know it exists.

Contraception is intrinsically evil.  Using artificial hormones to treat a medical condition is not contraception, even if it is the same pill that can be used for contraception.  Humanae Vitae explicitly mentions that it is acceptable to treat a serious medical condition with surgery that causes sterility, even though sterilization for the purpose of preventing new life is wrong.
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#17
(04-20-2010, 05:45 PM)JayneK Wrote:
(04-20-2010, 05:32 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote: As far as the contraception issue, she is against it, but does not think it's evil per say....She has a hard time believing it is bad because of her medical condition, like I said... It sounds like she has a hard time looking beyond the modernistic problems in society today... Perhaps I should let her read Humanae Vitae, as she probably doesn't even know it exists.

Contraception is intrinsically evil.  Using artificial hormones to treat a medical condition is not contraception, even if it is the same pill that can be used for contraception.  Humanae Vitae explicitly mentions that it is acceptable to treat a serious medical condition with surgery that causes sterility, even though sterilization for the purpose of preventing new life is wrong.

Okay Good... Perhaps I have hope after all!!  ;D
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#18
(04-20-2010, 05:36 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote:
(04-20-2010, 05:00 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote:
(04-20-2010, 04:58 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote: Does she understand it?

I THINK she understands it, but I don't know. Her Dr. says she needs to be on contraception because she has a medical problem with her reproductive system.

Um, it isn't contraceptive if it isn't contracepting. Just because the substance is marketed as a contraceptive, that doesn't mean that is all it can do.

Also, at this point, I do not think it matters (except for medical reasons), unless she is doing anything that is life creating.

exactly.  oral contraceptives are used for purposes other than contraception and when they are used for reasons other than contraception, and the woman is not sexually active, there's nothing wrong with it.  

don't push her about switching from the OF to the EF.  if she likes the EF, she'll be more likely to listen to what are new ideas to her.  if she hates it, you have a problem.  be sure she knows what to expect beforehand, though you don't have to explain it in great detail, just tell her the dress code as in "by the way, at my chapel, women dress more modestly than at most Masses."  she'll probably ask what that means and you can explain in brief 'well, they don't wear pants or short skirts or anything sleeveless, and they always wear a hat or veil."  

then give her the small veil you bought her and tell her how nice she looks in it.  (so be sure it's a pretty veil!)  a big mantilla might freak her out now and you don't want her looking like a nun. most girls today aren't used to wearing hats except maybe in winter.
you want her to like the gift.

if you two are old enough to consider marriage, you'll have to determine if you can compromise on important issues.   it's not exactly unusual for Protestants to become Catholic when they marry Catholics so changing from the OF to the EF or vice versa should be workable.  you're both already Catholic, after all.  

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#19
If she doesnt like the EF, ie. TLM... you should find a new girlfriend.  I'm serious.
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#20
(04-20-2010, 06:39 PM)HotRod Wrote: If she doesnt like the EF, ie. TLM... you should find a new girlfriend.  I'm serious.

suppose that she isn't too crazy about it the first time, but agrees she'll attend again?

if he cares about "converting" her, he must think a lot of her and think she's willing to fight for.  he can't force her to switch to the EF but he can court her and see how things go.
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