How to convert her??
#41
(04-21-2010, 11:17 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: No more than 25% of the ladies at my ICKSP oratory do this. 

OP:  If she goes with you, let her do what the majority of women do in the chapel. 

Watch out, someone might try to pull the "smells and bells Catholic" card on you.
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#42
(04-21-2010, 12:48 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 11:17 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: No more than 25% of the ladies at my ICKSP oratory do this. 

OP:  If she goes with you, let her do what the majority of women do in the chapel. 

Watch out, someone might try to pull the "smells and bells Catholic" card on you.

So what.  Nobody should have to pass some sort of Catholic "purity test" in order to go to a Latin Mass.
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#43
(04-21-2010, 10:31 AM)Mhoram Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 06:04 AM)ggreg Wrote: One last tip.  Introduce her only to relatively well off, large Catholic families where the mother looks reasonably attractive.  My wife and plenty of other women I know are impressed by this because when it comes down to it, there are actually many more women who would like to have lots of children than will ever admit to it, even non Catholic ones.  What stops most women is 1. the damage to their figure they perceive multiple childbirths will do (they call this their health but actually they mean that then want a teen body shape into their mid thirties or early forties because of media pressure and television shows like desperate housewives and sex and the city.  2.  What they perceive as the lower standard of living that more children will mean.

That's excellent advice.  I'd add: try to make sure these women have more going on in their lives than cleaning up after their kids.  I don't mean working moms, but a home business or charity work or a hobby or something.  In addition to the fear of what it'll do to their figure, I've heard women say they're afraid they'll lose their selves; that they won't have the time or energy for anything except the kids.  Society reinforces that by saying to pursue your career or other interests before having kids, implying that it'll be impossible to do anything else after you start.  If she can meet a couple women who are in decent shape, did something with their hair that morning, and can discuss the latest book they read or how their Ebay store is going---all while they've got four kids underfoot and another one on the way---that'll make a huge impression.

I don't want to downplay the huge amount of time and energy that go into motherhood.  But some are able to pull it off with a certain level of serenity (and I see a lot more of that among traditional types, for whatever reason), while others (whether they have 1 kid or 10), will give the impression that it simply consumed their bodies and souls.  Avoid the latter.

Sorry to point out the elephant in the living room, but the only really important thing is to prove to her that YOU can support a large family and not have your future wife living a life of poverty, exhaustion, and unhappiness. How other people "appear" is only a tiny piece of the puzzle. Even the most traddy of trad girls will be wary of a guy who wants a large family without any apparent means of supporting one.
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#44
(04-21-2010, 01:21 PM)amasimp Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 12:48 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 11:17 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: No more than 25% of the ladies at my ICKSP oratory do this. 

OP:  If she goes with you, let her do what the majority of women do in the chapel. 

Watch out, someone might try to pull the "smells and bells Catholic" card on you.

So what.  Nobody should have to pass some sort of Catholic "purity test" in order to go to a Latin Mass.

No, they can go, but in my humble opinion there needs to be some rules and regulations... God had rules and commandments, did he not??
If someone is not dressed modestly and a woman does not have a veil over her head then I believe the priest should have the right to deny them Holy Communion... I don't think 1 hour out of your Sunday is that much to ask.

The thing that really annoys me is when I would see girls in mini skirts, short shorts, and flip flop and sandals when I use to attend the NO...I even saw one girl who looked like she just came off the beach... My girlfriends answer was "At least they are at church!"  How in the world am I supposed to respond to that without getting into a big argument, so I let dead dogs lie!!

I have my work cut out for me with her when it comes to the modest dress issue, that is for sure!
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#45
(04-21-2010, 01:35 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 01:21 PM)amasimp Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 12:48 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 11:17 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: No more than 25% of the ladies at my ICKSP oratory do this. 

OP:  If she goes with you, let her do what the majority of women do in the chapel. 

Watch out, someone might try to pull the "smells and bells Catholic" card on you.

So what.  Nobody should have to pass some sort of Catholic "purity test" in order to go to a Latin Mass.

No, they can go, but in my humble opinion there needs to be some rules and regulations... God had rules and commandments, did he not??
If someone is not dressed modestly and a woman does not have a veil over her head then I believe the priest should have the right to deny them Holy Communion... I don't think 1 hour out of your Sunday is that much to ask.

The thing that really annoys me is when I would see girls in mini skirts, short shorts, and flip flop and sandals when I use to attend the NO...I even saw one girl who looked like she just came off the beach... My girlfriends answer was "At least they are at church!"  How in the world am I supposed to respond to that without getting into a big argument, so I let dead dogs lie!!

I have my work cut out for me with her when it comes to the modest dress issue, that is for sure!

As a woman, let me tell you to tread very, very lightly in this area.  Most women do not like men telling them what to wear.  If she is smart, and I have no reason to suspect otherwise, she will pick up on what other women at church wear and likely conform.  Push to soon and you could very well push her away.
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#46
And so I will let the "Dead Dog Lie."

I hate to muddy the waters, but if you go by what other people wear then you have problems...For example, If I attended an SSPX chapel I could assure you mostly every man and woman would be dressed very modestly.... It wasn't and isn't that way at the ICK or the Diocesan TLM in which I currently attend.. We don't need to confuse her anymore either!!
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#47
(04-21-2010, 01:42 PM)amasimp Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 01:35 PM)crusaderfortruth3372 Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 01:21 PM)amasimp Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 12:48 PM)The_Harlequin_King Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 11:17 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: No more than 25% of the ladies at my ICKSP oratory do this. 

OP:  If she goes with you, let her do what the majority of women do in the chapel. 

Watch out, someone might try to pull the "smells and bells Catholic" card on you.

So what.  Nobody should have to pass some sort of Catholic "purity test" in order to go to a Latin Mass.

No, they can go, but in my humble opinion there needs to be some rules and regulations... God had rules and commandments, did he not??
If someone is not dressed modestly and a woman does not have a veil over her head then I believe the priest should have the right to deny them Holy Communion... I don't think 1 hour out of your Sunday is that much to ask.

The thing that really annoys me is when I would see girls in mini skirts, short shorts, and flip flop and sandals when I use to attend the NO...I even saw one girl who looked like she just came off the beach... My girlfriends answer was "At least they are at church!"  How in the world am I supposed to respond to that without getting into a big argument, so I let dead dogs lie!!

I have my work cut out for me with her when it comes to the modest dress issue, that is for sure!

As a woman, let me tell you to tread very, very lightly in this area.  Most women do not like men telling them what to wear.  If she is smart, and I have no reason to suspect otherwise, she will pick up on what other women at church wear and likely conform.  Push to soon and you could very well push her away.

This is exactly what I am saying.

Let her wear what the majority of the ladies wear at the chapel you go to. 

And, "women dressed modestly" does not translate into "a woman with a veil."  I don't mean to divert the topic, but honestly, if I were a woman, and someone told me to wear a veil any place (or told me I HAD to wear it), I'd be seriously peeved. 

Let her wear what she wants (give her some general guidelines...  dressier than a "normal" Catholic parish), and then after the first time, if she goes again, she'll know better what to wear.
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#48
(04-21-2010, 02:39 PM)CollegeCatholic Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 01:42 PM)amasimp Wrote: As a woman, let me tell you to tread very, very lightly in this area.  Most women do not like men telling them what to wear.  If she is smart, and I have no reason to suspect otherwise, she will pick up on what other women at church wear and likely conform.  Push to soon and you could very well push her away.

This is exactly what I am saying.

Let her wear what the majority of the ladies wear at the chapel you go to. 

And, "women dressed modestly" does not translate into "a woman with a veil."  I don't mean to divert the topic, but honestly, if I were a woman, and someone told me to wear a veil any place (or told me I HAD to wear it), I'd be seriously peeved. 

Let her wear what she wants (give her some general guidelines...  dressier than a "normal" Catholic parish), and then after the first time, if she goes again, she'll know better what to wear.

Agreed. The last thing you would want is for her to associate traditionalism with overly controlling men. Of course, if she's wearing something really innappropriate to Mass, you should say something, but make it seem more like it's the dress code. In my experience most people will at least ask for general guidelines for what to wear to a Latin Mass.
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#49
Rather than introducing her only to obviously "normal" families with plenty of money and attractive mothers of many, I think it would be better to introduce her to a variety of traditional Catholic families, all "good" but not all beautiful and well-off. It's great to see good-looking, well-dressed women calmly directing their broods, but if that's all you see and you yourself are not doing so well, it's very discouraging. Seeing only beautiful, "together" women who want for nothing could be intimidating. Better to see, as well, good women who may have to struggle with weight problems and finding money to pay bills, yet try really hard to cope and be holy in spite of difficulties.
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#50
Good point on the variety.  Besides being non-intimidating, showing that all trads are not the same shows her that she doesn't have to stop being herself.  It will come across as less of a blatant attempt to change her, and more of an effort to introduce her to something very important to you.

And yes, be patient.  Be very patient...
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