How to convert her??
#53
(04-21-2010, 01:35 PM)Iolanthe Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 10:31 AM)Mhoram Wrote:
(04-21-2010, 06:04 AM)ggreg Wrote: One last tip.  Introduce her only to relatively well off, large Catholic families where the mother looks reasonably attractive.  My wife and plenty of other women I know are impressed by this because when it comes down to it, there are actually many more women who would like to have lots of children than will ever admit to it, even non Catholic ones.  What stops most women is 1. the damage to their figure they perceive multiple childbirths will do (they call this their health but actually they mean that then want a teen body shape into their mid thirties or early forties because of media pressure and television shows like desperate housewives and sex and the city.  2.  What they perceive as the lower standard of living that more children will mean.

That's excellent advice.  I'd add: try to make sure these women have more going on in their lives than cleaning up after their kids.  I don't mean working moms, but a home business or charity work or a hobby or something.  In addition to the fear of what it'll do to their figure, I've heard women say they're afraid they'll lose their selves; that they won't have the time or energy for anything except the kids.  Society reinforces that by saying to pursue your career or other interests before having kids, implying that it'll be impossible to do anything else after you start.  If she can meet a couple women who are in decent shape, did something with their hair that morning, and can discuss the latest book they read or how their Ebay store is going---all while they've got four kids underfoot and another one on the way---that'll make a huge impression.

I don't want to downplay the huge amount of time and energy that go into motherhood.  But some are able to pull it off with a certain level of serenity (and I see a lot more of that among traditional types, for whatever reason), while others (whether they have 1 kid or 10), will give the impression that it simply consumed their bodies and souls.  Avoid the latter.

Sorry to point out the elephant in the living room, but the only really important thing is to prove to her that YOU can support a large family and not have your future wife living a life of poverty, exhaustion, and unhappiness. How other people "appear" is only a tiny piece of the puzzle. Even the most traddy of trad girls will be wary of a guy who wants a large family without any apparent means of supporting one.

The point is that there is support and "support".  Many women that have grown up in a first world country would probably think that two of their children sharing a room was a mark of poverty.  Most people tend to define their acceptable standard of living as better than their parents and the same as their peers at work or school.  Three and four bedroom houses are available within municipalities for $500,000 or less.  If you have 8 kids and the parents sleep on a sofa bed in the sitting room, like mine did then you can get by.  Such houses  Affordable on circa $100k per year gross.  9 bedroom houses are not.  They might also think that a foreign holiday, 50 inch flat screen TV, real wood flooring and a $20,000 kitchen are normal too.  Very few jobs pay more than $100k per year gross, so it stands to reason that not all hard working traditionalists will be able to afford to give their wives a 97th percentile lifestyle on a modal salary.

To buy a $1m house you have to be on way above average income, and it stands to reason that by the definition of average, MOST traditionalists are not going to be able to earn way above average.  They are competing for everything they buy with two income families in most cases.

A large family or separate beds (rarely mutually agreed in my experience of friends who do this) are the only two courses open to Catholics.  Being open to life and not wanting another child because of the stress of living in a "small" house and being "poor" and "exhausted" are difficult concepts to put side by side.  What does "poor" mean anyway in modern day America or Britain, where unless you are exceptional unlucky or ill and uninsured in the case of the USA, there is enough help for anyone to eat three square meals a day.  Our exhausted today hardly compares with women who used to work in fields from sun up to sun down and then come home to a bunch of unhappy hungry kids.

If Americans were truly poor, then Mexicans would not be risking their lives to illegally cross your border and do the jobs you don't want to do.  No poor person would spend their money and time migrationg to another poor country to do the lowest of lowly jobs.
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Messages In This Thread
How to convert her?? - by crusaderfortruth3372 - 04-20-2010, 04:36 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-20-2010, 04:38 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-20-2010, 04:48 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by The_Harlequin_King - 04-20-2010, 04:53 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-20-2010, 04:58 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by cgraye - 04-20-2010, 05:10 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by cgraye - 04-20-2010, 05:22 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Walty - 04-20-2010, 05:27 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-20-2010, 05:36 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-20-2010, 05:37 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by JayneK - 04-20-2010, 05:45 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-20-2010, 06:02 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-20-2010, 06:39 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-20-2010, 06:58 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-20-2010, 07:09 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-20-2010, 07:16 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-20-2010, 07:42 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Mhoram - 04-20-2010, 07:50 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by TraceG - 04-20-2010, 07:55 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-20-2010, 08:00 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-20-2010, 08:11 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by MagisterMusicae - 04-20-2010, 08:35 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-20-2010, 08:42 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by JayneK - 04-20-2010, 08:49 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by MagisterMusicae - 04-20-2010, 09:44 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by MagisterMusicae - 04-21-2010, 02:50 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-21-2010, 06:04 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Mhoram - 04-21-2010, 10:31 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-21-2010, 10:41 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-21-2010, 10:44 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by CollegeCatholic - 04-21-2010, 11:17 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by The_Harlequin_King - 04-21-2010, 12:48 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by amasimp - 04-21-2010, 01:21 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-21-2010, 01:35 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by amasimp - 04-21-2010, 01:42 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by CollegeCatholic - 04-21-2010, 02:39 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-21-2010, 03:25 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-21-2010, 05:48 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Dust - 04-21-2010, 10:26 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Baskerville - 04-21-2010, 10:32 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Baskerville - 04-21-2010, 10:36 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-22-2010, 11:48 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-22-2010, 11:49 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 12:00 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-22-2010, 12:35 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-22-2010, 12:44 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Mhoram - 04-22-2010, 02:18 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 02:47 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-22-2010, 03:03 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-22-2010, 03:04 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 03:21 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-22-2010, 04:04 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 04:08 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-22-2010, 04:10 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Bonifacius - 04-22-2010, 04:23 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-22-2010, 05:12 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by amasimp - 04-22-2010, 05:18 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-22-2010, 05:31 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 05:45 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-22-2010, 05:54 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-22-2010, 05:59 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by The_Harlequin_King - 04-22-2010, 06:00 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-22-2010, 06:38 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-22-2010, 08:09 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-23-2010, 08:03 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by HotRod - 04-23-2010, 09:12 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by ggreg - 04-23-2010, 11:43 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-23-2010, 11:59 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-23-2010, 12:15 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-23-2010, 12:42 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-23-2010, 02:17 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-23-2010, 03:06 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Vetus Ordo - 04-23-2010, 03:09 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-23-2010, 03:09 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Vetus Ordo - 04-23-2010, 03:24 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-23-2010, 03:38 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by CollegeCatholic - 04-23-2010, 03:41 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by amasimp - 04-23-2010, 03:46 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by James02 - 04-23-2010, 04:20 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Mhoram - 04-23-2010, 04:31 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-23-2010, 04:35 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by amasimp - 04-23-2010, 04:37 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-23-2010, 04:38 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Historian - 04-23-2010, 04:41 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-23-2010, 08:24 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-23-2010, 09:29 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-23-2010, 10:11 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Satori - 04-23-2010, 11:33 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by CollegeCatholic - 04-24-2010, 01:07 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by CollegeCatholic - 04-24-2010, 01:12 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-24-2010, 01:31 AM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-24-2010, 03:12 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Augstine Baker - 04-26-2010, 06:45 PM
Re: How to convert her?? - by Iolanthe - 04-26-2010, 09:06 PM



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