I Am Leaving the Catholic Church
Dear Immaculata,
I'm new here to this forum. I've read your post several times over the last few days, and I can relate with all you've said.  My family and I attend a fairly medium-to-large & growing  traditional chapel.  We are currently experiencing the same general type of behavior, you described, from many of the parishioners here.  It hurts. It hurts a lot and still does.  Having come from the novus ordo several years ago I can't describe the joy of finding valid sacraments, etc., etc.  But the people in our chapel were less than welcoming and sincere.  Most of the "old timers" were suspicious and sharp of tongue especially when it came to something about us they didn't like or approve of.  After attending this traditional chapel for about 6 months, we almost decided to leave.  The self appointed "Doctors" of the church were too much.  We had pulled ourselves out of the mire of the novus ordo and were battered, bruised and exhausted from the fight.  The last thing we expected was to be assaulted again by the "do gooders" who felt it was their duty to offer their version of "charity".   They were/are downright mean.   The damage they do doesn't go away over night and the damage isn't just to one's ego, feelings, etc.  It can be to one's character, reputation, children, spiritual growth.  The idea of social grace did not and still does not enter their vocabulary or example.   One would expect better behavior from a group of people who have fought so hard to keep the Faith alive.  We as Catholics expect better from our Church and society, but don't expect it from ourselves.   All I know is the devil is working overtime, especially in traditional chapels to tear apart the parish, its schools and spiritual and mental health.  Our priests address these issues from the pulpit but it falls on egocentric ears.  **Disclaimer here:  not all trads are like this.   There are many trads who "walk their talk" and set good examples.  But it only takes a small group of infuential, loud, and self-rightious types to taint the parish.     
The priests are so overworked and have too many responsibilities to constantly be putting out all the "fires" started by parishioners.  Some priests even get "run out" of the parish by the lay people who have unbridled influence on superiors...( as Marybonita alluded to.)  This recently happened in my parish when the priest tried to (generally) rebuke the parish for calumniating a parishioner, which eventually, (among other things) lead to the priest's transfer.  I pray for this very holy priest every day and I'm thankful for the sacrifices and injustices he suffered for this person.  But the damage from the calumny was done, and this person still to this day suffers from its affects.   Why is it that calumny, rumor mongering, character assassination and the like, run amok in trad chapels?      
Please think upon the words and consider the advice given in the responses to your post.  Reading these well meaning folks words are an inspiration to me, too.  Think of it as a much needed "kick in the posterior" (reality check!) to get us out of our hole of self-pity.  
Also, we all need someone who will listen to our venting and frustrations...a friend or confidant.  For many, forums like this can offer this.  We need encouragement, compassion, and clarity.  Most days it is very hard to keep our eyes on heaven with all the distraction our world throws at us especially from those who should be on our side.  The crosses we bear keep our heads down not up.  It is the touch the loving hand of Christ on our shoulders (through the love and prayers and sacrifices of others) that give us strength to keep going.  Keep your eyes on heaven... Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.
Some great reads which have helped me through times like yours are:
Light and Peace  by R. P. Quadrupani     pub. by Tan
Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence  by Fr. Jean Baptise Saint-Jure S.J.
                                  and Saint Claude Colombiere, S. J.   pub. by Tan  
The Spiritual Combat  by Dom Lorenzo Scupoli    pub. by Tan
An Introduction to the Devout Life  by St. Francis De Sales   pub. by Tan
  (currently reading this....great!)
Rules for Discerning the Spirits  (from the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius)
               pub. by Angelus Press   (SSPX) 
I will pray for you and know you aren't the only one out there experiencing
what you are going through.   Pray, pray, pray   Don't fall into the temptations of the devil to despair and give up.  Your soul and salvation are at stake: the only things that truly matter in this valley of tears.      
Immaculata001 Wrote:  The explanation that people are fragile is not enough, when the Church is described as being built on a rock.

It is enough.  The Church is the unsinkable Ark of Salvation.  It is precisely because we cannot swim that we need to be inside Her indestructible hull (sorry, I am not very nautical). 
Many of us, even after we have the grace to enter this mighty Vessel, get a little sea-sick, and it takes quite a while for most of us to get our "sea legs"; for those who have been struggling a long time to stay afloat are very water-logged and do not become themselves simply by stepping on board.
The Divine Physician has come for the sake of the sick; those who are well do not need His close attention.

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