Communication with Slightly Autistic People
#31
OK, I haven't read the entire thread, so this may have been covered.

I have occasionally been asked if I am autistic--I answer no, because I rather doubt it, I've studied Autism, and I don't really meet any of the diagnosing criteria (aside from having to really police myself in social situations).

I find it much more likely that I have undiagnosed AD/HD (which will stay undiagnosed unless it begins to interfere with my education and work more than it does).  My mom has worked with both AD/HD and autism in her career as a nurse, and is convinced that they're at least peripherally related.

I am almost painfully introverted, and do tend to blurt out what's on my mind without thinking, so I try to cut others (especially those I know have differences such as autism, etc.) come slack when it comes to that.  (Emphasis being the word "Try" :P)

OK, random post over now.
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#32
I know almost nothing about autism....but isn't there a difference when it comes to the capacity to experience emotion that the ADHDer doesn't have a problem with?

Wait, maybe I should say the different ways of experiencing emotions...?

As far as the similarities go......ADHD folks and Asperger's/ Autistic types are notorious for their lack of the all-important "brain to mouth filter" that the "normal" folks have....

sometimes that's bad, but sometimes it's very, very good.....


:laughing:
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#33
(07-05-2010, 01:27 PM)OCLittleFlower Wrote: You're over-generalizing on both counts.
Yes, I do that a lot (in purpose) in discussions like this.

Why do I do it? Because that is how SAPs see it. Neurotypical communication is very complicated, and generalisations fail most of the time. Now, explain to me how to use this knowledge (that people should add filler words to soften the blow...really, that is the sort of advice that makes SAPs say "I don't care anymore, you'll get used to it or leave me alone.".) in everyday situations with a higher degree of certainty of successful communication.

With a lot of effort, time and experience, a SAP may be able to understand the use of such things, but still, it will take a lot of effort and thought to use and will likely not be worth it. General principles which can be followed by habit without much thought are what are useful (this is the focus of the sort of advice for my book).

Quote:  Oh course,  if a man's pants are on fire, you shout and or throw water on him.
But you didn't say that ;)

Quote:  In general discourse, however, especially online where it isn't possible to see a person's expression or hear their tone of voice, it is much better to soften the blow.  Otherwise, a poster could be seen as rude.
On the contrary, if a person with AS actually followed this advice, he'd have no idea to what extent or exactly how to do this filler. The posts would be worse.

Quote:As for the men vs women re advice thing...maybe I'm an atypical woman, but if I go to someone with a problem, I'd like a solution, and most of my female friends are like this.
I read this many times on Neurotypical advice articles.
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#34
ADHD has nothing to do with autism of any sort.

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#35
(07-05-2010, 02:56 PM)DeiMateralma Wrote: I am almost painfully introverted, and do tend to blurt out what's on my mind without thinking, so I try to cut others (especially those I know have differences such as autism, etc.) come slack when it comes to that.  (Emphasis being the word "Try" :P)

Introversion is not part of autism either. AS is concerned with socialisation issues. There are some things associated with AS, but they are not actually a part of it. Sort of like sunburn is not part of Albinism . It can easily occur, but it is not a symptom of Albinism.
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#36
(07-05-2010, 04:01 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote:
(07-05-2010, 02:56 PM)DeiMateralma Wrote: I am almost painfully introverted, and do tend to blurt out what's on my mind without thinking, so I try to cut others (especially those I know have differences such as autism, etc.) come slack when it comes to that.  (Emphasis being the word "Try" :P)

Introversion is not part of autism either. AS is concerned with socialisation issues. There are some things associated with AS, but they are not actually a part of it. Sort of like sunburn is not part of Albinism . It can easily occur, but it is not a symptom of Albinism.

That's why I used the word "ALSO" :P

I was merely stating my experiences.  I was claiming nothing but theories I've heard, and personal experiences.

*sigh*
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#37
(07-05-2010, 04:23 PM)DeiMateralma Wrote:
(07-05-2010, 04:01 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote:
(07-05-2010, 02:56 PM)DeiMateralma Wrote: I am almost painfully introverted, and do tend to blurt out what's on my mind without thinking, so I try to cut others (especially those I know have differences such as autism, etc.) come slack when it comes to that.  (Emphasis being the word "Try" :P)

Introversion is not part of autism either. AS is concerned with socialisation issues. There are some things associated with AS, but they are not actually a part of it. Sort of like sunburn is not part of Albinism . It can easily occur, but it is not a symptom of Albinism.

That's why I used the word "ALSO" :P

I was merely stating my experiences.  I was claiming nothing but theories I've heard, and personal experiences.

*sigh*

Oh, sorry. I was responding to libby, who professed not to know much about autism.
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#38
oh, I know that one has nothing to do with the other.... but, like you said, occasionally they go hand in hand.

I was just trying to find similarities.... it was the only one that i could think of...

:shrug:

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#39
(07-03-2010, 08:44 PM)Herr_Mannelig Wrote:
(07-03-2010, 11:56 AM)Penelope Wrote: You're probably right about this guy at your work. If you ever need some techniques identifying and helping him improve with his particular difficulties (For instance, is his present level of word-recognition low? Or can he read plenty of words but not know what they mean in context? This is illiteracy, too.), there's a great book I can recommend to you.
He just seems to be very out of practice. Spelling is very new to him. He knows the letters and how they are used. I am not sure how he reads. I think he cannot recognise many words by sight (unlike me; I recognise almost all words in most texts by sight) and "sounds it out" or remembers what they mean. For example, he asked me how to spell "glasses" (he was right) and he wasn't sure how to spell "told", but he got that right too. So, from my experiences, he seems to be just at a lower level in skill, rather than being stuck in any other way. No dyslexia or anything.

His speech and grammar are not what I'd call great, but then again, I think that about most people at work. What is the book? I may be interested in it. I always like to learn about learning. I like knowing how other people may work. For me, I do not remember how I learned to read. I remember school, but I think my actual reading skills developed differently, as I only recognise words as a whole (or in part) and just know a lot of words.

Here is an amazon link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/When-Kids-Cant-Read-Teachers/dp/0867095199/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278365768&sr=8-1. It is for educators, but I can see it being very helpful outside of the classroom as well. It was a textbook for a class I took last fall, and I use it as a reference all the time.



Quote:
Quote: ;D My boyfriend's family is from Ireland. There's still tension about it. They won't even drink Black and Tan beer.
I have an Irish long sword and whenever someone with an English last name comes to the door, they are greeted with it.

:doh:  That's not alarming at all.

(07-05-2010, 04:02 AM)OCLittleFlower Wrote: One of the things I've noticed about people who describe themselves as AS is that they tend (at least during online interaction) to be very direct and make pronouncements without any introduction.  Other people tend to add more "filler" words to their posts, which softens the blow and makes things seem more tactful.  It also helps people understand where you are coming from, so they don't take things the wrong way.

For example, if someone were to post that their feet hurt, someone with AS might say "get shoes that fit" while someone else might say "my feet used to hurt a lot, but then I got my feet checked out, and it turns out that my shoes didn't fit well.  Maybe you should make sure that the width and arch support fit correctly, because that could make a huge difference."  The first comes across as accusing the person of wearing ill fitting shoes and being at fault.  The second suggests that this MAY be the cause, and comes across as a more caring statement because the poster is showing empathy.

It seems like people with AS feel that both messages above are the same thing, while to other people one is offensive and the other is helpful and kind.  Granted, it is just an example, and I don't mean to offend anyone by it.

If I may be completely honest, I feel like your observations make a lot of sense OCLittleFlower. Until you, Herr, mentioned that you have Aspergers Syndrome, whenever I read your posts, I would often think, "Well, this guy has no qualms about brutal honesty." After this thread, though, your... writing style, we'll call it, since we're on a forum... makes a lot more sense.
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#40
(07-05-2010, 05:48 PM)Penelope Wrote: Here is an amazon link to the book: http://www.amazon.com/When-Kids-Cant-Read-Teachers/dp/0867095199/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278365768&sr=8-1. It is for educators, but I can see it being very helpful outside of the classroom as well. It was a textbook for a class I took last fall, and I use it as a reference all the time.
Thanks. I'll eventually get it.

Quote: :doh:  That's not alarming at all.
The looks on their faces are priceless though.

Quote:If I may be completely honest, I feel like your observations make a lot of sense OCLittleFlower. Until you, Herr, mentioned that you have Aspergers Syndrome, whenever I read your posts, I would often think, "Well, this guy has no qualms about brutal honesty."

After this thread, though, your... writing style, we'll call it, since we're on a forum... makes a lot more sense.

Even when we learn how others communicate, it is difficult for us to emulate that. Like I said, in RL, silence is the a very important communication method to master. However, online, that is not an option (it isn't communicating by not posting although not posting would avoid issues). It is normally not a good idea to copy other people's communication styles but it doesn't work out too well.
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