Crying so much...Feeling so helpless...
#1
Lately I can't help but think that I have been crying so much :(. I was Angelina Jolie crazed a bit and thinking I was bi. I have gone through the I think I'm bi before though...and its tough trying to figure out if I'm bi or not. Yes...I have thought about Angelina Jolie in that way....though I much prefer men over all. Then when I was in a university, before I decided to go to the junior college I'm going to now. Well, when I was in the university I had a chorus director who was female, and I had a slight crush on her. :( I still remember that.

Also, I am interested in trying to help so many causes my main ones being P2P, Khadarlis, JoyfulHeart Foundation and the movement to stop the backlog crisis as well as Safe Horizon. :( I have also been thinking of starting a non-profit organization for no human trafficking or something like that. With so many issues I feel helpless and that makes me cry!

The fanvids about Detective Benson have been getting me to cry that I watch :( although I love to watch them. When I read about how "normal" Mariska Hargitay was and still is...that just moved me and I became a sobbing Pisces again :(


Finally as much as I've swept Angelina Jolie into the back of my mind even though she is one of two of my favorite actresses. Mariska Hargitay...she is so much better I know to look up to. I look up to her because she reminds me of an improved version of myself. She has stated she's not afraid of a big salad and she walks a lot and does other exxercise to stay fit that normal people do...I look up to her because she also has a strong drive and strong passion for helping others and she loves God, goes to church, has been married to someone for a good while, has a kid, makes a fair amount of money...not as known as Angelina Jolie is, not snobby, and she moves me so much, I want to be like her in so many ways, she is inspirational to me because I find that because of her I'm developing my voice, developing my goals...I want to lose weight and I want to try screenwriting again..perhaps write a script up with a role that would be dedicated to her and the type of mother she is for her son August, I just love that, I want to have her type of energy. I want to as she has said but in a different manner "be a fun person to be around, not an out of breath person." She said it that she did not want to be a out of breath mom but a fun to be around mom. Then all of her favorite things I like too LOL..I do have the same interests as her and attitude.

I also feel sad because the news is so depressing lately..since crime and the economy go together and I feel for working moms who like my own mom did when my mom worked and like Hargitay have work hours whcih are difficult to see their kid or kids since they leave before their kid gets up and come back a lot when their kid is asleep. 
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#2
Prayer from a dirty Protestant:
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

Worry about yourself, and your prayer life, before you worry about the world's problems.  The world's problems won't save you from Hell.
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#3
:awww: Pomprincess, take a few days and study some of the female saints instead of actresses. I think that may be a part of why you're crying and running from post to pillar with this, because it's not real life. Really, it's not, and the crying part of you is reacting to that, even if only a small part of you. I'm sure you've studied the saints before, but this time take a harder look at Teresa of Avila, I think she will fascinate you. Or how about St Gianna Molla? Pray to them for guidance. Find a solid spiritual director or priest and ask them what to do with all this excess energy that you have, a director or priest that you find plain and boring. Trust me. Plain and boring, not rockstar, okay? You're going to be alright...

edited
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#4
(10-08-2010, 07:11 AM)ResiduumRevertetur Wrote: :awww: Pomprincess, take a few days and study some of the female saints instead of actresses. I think that may be a part of why you're crying and running from post to pillar with this, because it's not real life. Really, it's not, and the crying part of you is reacting to that, even if only a small part of you. I'm sure you've studied the saints before, but this time take a harder look at Teresa of Avila, I think she will fascinate you. Or how about St Gianna Molla? Pray to them for guidance. Find a solid spiritual director or priest and ask them what to do with all this excess energy that you have, a director or priest that you find plain and boring. Trust me. Plain and boring, not rockstar, okay? You're going to be alright...

edited

Good advice!  :pray:
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#5
(10-08-2010, 03:59 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: Worry about yourself, and your prayer life, before you worry about the world's problems.  The world's problems won't save you from Hell.

I agree. It's natural to feel compassion but limit it. This may sound bad but if you are extremely sensitive to human suffering, you should stop looking at it and stop immersing yourself in it. I have had to. I can't even watch the news without being agitated, so I don't. If it agitates you that much, it is a trick of the devil trying to sink you in despair. I cannot handle the world's problems on my shoulders and neither can you. Only God can do that.

But remember that suffering is not such a bad thing anyway. It has a very noble purpose, even if it seems senseless in our eyes. No one would think of God if all were perfect and those who suffer, which is everyone in some way or other, have the opportunity to turn to Him and convert their hearts. So, do what you can to help, but most importantly, pray that these people who are suffering will be brought closer to God through their suffering. Pray that they can use it to their spiritual advantage. This can be done without having to know every detail, which is much too overwhelming for one person to assimilate. 
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#6
Pomprincess,

Try to help the world in some small, but concrete, way. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, at an old folks' home, at your church, or in kids' classes at the community center. That way you will actually be making a positive difference in someone's life instead of sitting in front of your computer and worrying. Also just try to stay active in general. Hit the gym, pick up a new hobby, make a new friend, pray more.

Hope this helps.  :)
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#7
(10-08-2010, 01:05 PM)piabee Wrote: Pomprincess,

Try to help the world in some small, but concrete, way. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, at an old folks' home, at your church, or in kids' classes at the community center. That way you will actually be making a positive difference in someone's life instead of sitting in front of your computer and worrying. Also just try to stay active in general. Hit the gym, pick up a new hobby, make a new friend, pray more.

Hope this helps.  :)

Awwwz thanks for the advice piabee!
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#8
(10-08-2010, 08:29 AM)3Sanctus Wrote:
(10-08-2010, 07:11 AM)ResiduumRevertetur Wrote: :awww: Pomprincess, take a few days and study some of the female saints instead of actresses. I think that may be a part of why you're crying and running from post to pillar with this, because it's not real life. Really, it's not, and the crying part of you is reacting to that, even if only a small part of you. I'm sure you've studied the saints before, but this time take a harder look at Teresa of Avila, I think she will fascinate you. Or how about St Gianna Molla? Pray to them for guidance. Find a solid spiritual director or priest and ask them what to do with all this excess energy that you have, a director or priest that you find plain and boring. Trust me. Plain and boring, not rockstar, okay? You're going to be alright...

edited

Good advice!   :pray:

Not only good advice, but excellent advice.
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#9
:pray:
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#10
(10-08-2010, 08:47 AM)wallflower Wrote:
(10-08-2010, 03:59 AM)CollegeCatholic Wrote: Worry about yourself, and your prayer life, before you worry about the world's problems.  The world's problems won't save you from Hell.

I agree. It's natural to feel compassion but limit it. This may sound bad but if you are extremely sensitive to human suffering, you should stop looking at it and stop immersing yourself in it. I have had to. I can't even watch the news without being agitated, so I don't. If it agitates you that much, it is a trick of the devil trying to sink you in despair. I cannot handle the world's problems on my shoulders and neither can you. Only God can do that.

But remember that suffering is not such a bad thing anyway. It has a very noble purpose, even if it seems senseless in our eyes. No one would think of God if all were perfect and those who suffer, which is everyone in some way or other, have the opportunity to turn to Him and convert their hearts. So, do what you can to help, but most importantly, pray that these people who are suffering will be brought closer to God through their suffering. Pray that they can use it to their spiritual advantage. This can be done without having to know every detail, which is much too overwhelming for one person to assimilate. 

This is the best advice.

It sounds to me like you're longing for human interaction.  It's not so unusual to be attracted to females, especially since women are so often depicted as sex objects in today's media.  Instead of trying so hard to decide if you're bi or not.. just be you.  I find both women and men sexually appealing, but I choose not to define myself as bisexual.  Why?  Because I don't want to my identity to be about what I'm zoning out and lusting after when I'm not engaged in God's good works.  I am a Catholic, and that's all I need to know.  I think I can relate to you quite a bit, and all I can tell you is just don't worry about those thoughts about women.  There's nothing inherently wrong with feeling aroused by women, just don't entertain those thoughts, just like you shouldn't be entertaining those thoughts about men either unless you get married to one of them.  These thoughts are just temptations popping into your head, distracting you from what's really important on this earth.  Foster your love for God, and take care of yourself. 

I think you're spending too much of your time watching youtube or television and your psyche is longing for real human connection, so that longing is twisting into a kind of despair/lust towards what you're viewing on screen.  Go and spend time with other faithful Catholics who are outside of your family and talk to them in person about your troubles.  It will do wonders for you.  If you can't find any, go and hang out with the church secretary for awhile, ask her to go to lunch with you.  Reach out to people one at a time instead of trying to reach out to the whole world.  Most of all, just get away from the screens.
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