Dealing With His Family
#51
(12-02-2010, 11:10 PM)dark lancer Wrote: I'm just going by what is provided to me here.  I'm completely unaware of any of the history of the relationship.  From my experience a sign of humility and an unsolicited apology is often enough to put disputes to a halt, whereas silence can lead to bitterness and more problems and anxiety.

I agree about silence. I've already done the former; we'll see if it bears any fruit.
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#52
(12-02-2010, 08:52 PM)Satori Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:45 PM)Jacafamala Wrote: Satori, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time with them. But remember when nerves are really raw, and feelings have been hurt, it only takes the slightest infraction to set a person off... I'm not saying what your M-I-L did more recently was minor... But I do know that you were really hurt or offended prior to this more recent incident. And that makes this new incident even worse.  I think you were right to tell your S-I-L how you felt. My opinion is that best thing now would be lots of space and a grain of salt. You don't want them to be your enemies, if it can be helped.

Well, I didn't tell my SIL how I felt. I didn't have a chance before this new incident occurred. However, I sent her a message inviting her over -- her alone -- in an attempt to patch things up. Haven't heard a peep so far. We'll see.

I know about the raw nerves and all that. I just think my MIL was amazingly rude.
Yes, it was a bit rude of your M-I-L, or at least not very smart, especially if she really understands the tension between you and your S-I-L.

I hope your S-I-L responds. I hope she comes over and you're able to come to some sort of an understanding. Good luck with that, Satori!
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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#53
(12-03-2010, 04:39 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:52 PM)Satori Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:45 PM)Jacafamala Wrote: Satori, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time with them. But remember when nerves are really raw, and feelings have been hurt, it only takes the slightest infraction to set a person off... I'm not saying what your M-I-L did more recently was minor... But I do know that you were really hurt or offended prior to this more recent incident. And that makes this new incident even worse.  I think you were right to tell your S-I-L how you felt. My opinion is that best thing now would be lots of space and a grain of salt. You don't want them to be your enemies, if it can be helped.

Well, I didn't tell my SIL how I felt. I didn't have a chance before this new incident occurred. However, I sent her a message inviting her over -- her alone -- in an attempt to patch things up. Haven't heard a peep so far. We'll see.

I know about the raw nerves and all that. I just think my MIL was amazingly rude.
Yes, it was a bit rude of your M-I-L, or at least not very smart, especially if she really understands the tension between you and your S-I-L.

I hope your S-I-L responds. I hope she comes over and you're able to come to some sort of an understanding. Good luck with that, Satori!

Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
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#54
(12-03-2010, 06:26 AM)Satori Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 04:39 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:52 PM)Satori Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:45 PM)Jacafamala Wrote: Satori, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time with them. But remember when nerves are really raw, and feelings have been hurt, it only takes the slightest infraction to set a person off... I'm not saying what your M-I-L did more recently was minor... But I do know that you were really hurt or offended prior to this more recent incident. And that makes this new incident even worse.  I think you were right to tell your S-I-L how you felt. My opinion is that best thing now would be lots of space and a grain of salt. You don't want them to be your enemies, if it can be helped.

Well, I didn't tell my SIL how I felt. I didn't have a chance before this new incident occurred. However, I sent her a message inviting her over -- her alone -- in an attempt to patch things up. Haven't heard a peep so far. We'll see.

I know about the raw nerves and all that. I just think my MIL was amazingly rude.
Yes, it was a bit rude of your M-I-L, or at least not very smart, especially if she really understands the tension between you and your S-I-L.

I hope your S-I-L responds. I hope she comes over and you're able to come to some sort of an understanding. Good luck with that, Satori!

Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
A little odd, yes. But you say they were all preschoolers in the room?  :shrug: Meh... She prolly had her hands full.
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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#55
(12-03-2010, 11:06 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 06:26 AM)Satori Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 04:39 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:52 PM)Satori Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:45 PM)Jacafamala Wrote: Satori, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time with them. But remember when nerves are really raw, and feelings have been hurt, it only takes the slightest infraction to set a person off... I'm not saying what your M-I-L did more recently was minor... But I do know that you were really hurt or offended prior to this more recent incident. And that makes this new incident even worse.  I think you were right to tell your S-I-L how you felt. My opinion is that best thing now would be lots of space and a grain of salt. You don't want them to be your enemies, if it can be helped.

Well, I didn't tell my SIL how I felt. I didn't have a chance before this new incident occurred. However, I sent her a message inviting her over -- her alone -- in an attempt to patch things up. Haven't heard a peep so far. We'll see.

I know about the raw nerves and all that. I just think my MIL was amazingly rude.
Yes, it was a bit rude of your M-I-L, or at least not very smart, especially if she really understands the tension between you and your S-I-L.

I hope your S-I-L responds. I hope she comes over and you're able to come to some sort of an understanding. Good luck with that, Satori!

Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
A little odd, yes. But you say they were all preschoolers in the room?  :shrug: Meh... She prolly had her hands full.

Yeah, but she told me to call her back IMMEDIATELY and then IMMEDIATELY put me on speaker phone without warning. I asked if I could call her back later, but she said she wanted her class to hear. How the heck am I supposed to make plans with a roomful of four-year-olds listening? Things would have gone very differently if I'd been able to have a private conversation with her. I don't understand why she did that. She seemed to be purposely trying to confuse me, but I really don't know if she's smart enough to do that.
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#56
(12-03-2010, 11:34 AM)Satori Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 11:06 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 06:26 AM)Satori Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 04:39 AM)Jacafamala Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:52 PM)Satori Wrote:
(12-02-2010, 08:45 PM)Jacafamala Wrote: Satori, I'm sorry you're having a terrible time with them. But remember when nerves are really raw, and feelings have been hurt, it only takes the slightest infraction to set a person off... I'm not saying what your M-I-L did more recently was minor... But I do know that you were really hurt or offended prior to this more recent incident. And that makes this new incident even worse.  I think you were right to tell your S-I-L how you felt. My opinion is that best thing now would be lots of space and a grain of salt. You don't want them to be your enemies, if it can be helped.

Well, I didn't tell my SIL how I felt. I didn't have a chance before this new incident occurred. However, I sent her a message inviting her over -- her alone -- in an attempt to patch things up. Haven't heard a peep so far. We'll see.

I know about the raw nerves and all that. I just think my MIL was amazingly rude.
Yes, it was a bit rude of your M-I-L, or at least not very smart, especially if she really understands the tension between you and your S-I-L.

I hope your S-I-L responds. I hope she comes over and you're able to come to some sort of an understanding. Good luck with that, Satori!

Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
A little odd, yes. But you say they were all preschoolers in the room?  :shrug: Meh... She prolly had her hands full.

Yeah, but she told me to call her back IMMEDIATELY and then IMMEDIATELY put me on speaker phone without warning. I asked if I could call her back later, but she said she wanted her class to hear. How the heck am I supposed to make plans with a roomful of four-year-olds listening? Things would have gone very differently if I'd been able to have a private conversation with her. I don't understand why she did that. She seemed to be purposely trying to confuse me, but I really don't know if she's smart enough to do that.
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: Now that is funny. She wanted them to hear... yeah right maybe she needed them to provide a little feedback and advice for her.  ::)
Oh my Jesus, I surrender myself to you. Take care of everything.--Fr Dolindo Ruotolo

Persevere..Eucharist, Holy Rosary, Brown Scapular, Confession. You will win.
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#57
(12-03-2010, 11:34 AM)Satori Wrote: Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
A little odd, yes. But you say they were all preschoolers in the room?  :shrug: Meh... She prolly had her hands full.
[/quote]

Yeah, but she told me to call her back IMMEDIATELY and then IMMEDIATELY put me on speaker phone without warning. I asked if I could call her back later, but she said she wanted her class to hear. How the heck am I supposed to make plans with a roomful of four-year-olds listening? Things would have gone very differently if I'd been able to have a private conversation with her. I don't understand why she did that. She seemed to be purposely trying to confuse me, but I really don't know if she's smart enough to do that.
[/quote]

That does seem strange. It's really so kinda odd that maybe she didn't have a bad motivation. It seems more eccentric than nefarious.
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#58
(12-05-2010, 02:27 PM)kimbaichan Wrote:
(12-03-2010, 11:34 AM)Satori Wrote: Actually, the thing that really bothers me the most is that whole putting-me-on-the-speaker-phone thing.
A little odd, yes. But you say they were all preschoolers in the room?  :shrug: Meh... She prolly had her hands full.

Yeah, but she told me to call her back IMMEDIATELY and then IMMEDIATELY put me on speaker phone without warning. I asked if I could call her back later, but she said she wanted her class to hear. How the heck am I supposed to make plans with a roomful of four-year-olds listening? Things would have gone very differently if I'd been able to have a private conversation with her. I don't understand why she did that. She seemed to be purposely trying to confuse me, but I really don't know if she's smart enough to do that.
[/quote]

That does seem strange. It's really so kinda odd that maybe she didn't have a bad motivation. It seems more eccentric than nefarious.
[/quote]

Strange it is. It's also incredibly rude to put someone on speaker phone with an audience without advance warning. I don't think she's nefarious, just rude and inconsiderate.

I wish I'd never started this thread. I already felt bad about having lived with that family and now I feel worse. I did at least ask my husband to talk to his mother, and he did, so that's one good thing. Thanks to everyone who tried to help.
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#59
Don't be sorry, at least you have lots of extra prayers now.  :awww:
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#60
(11-30-2010, 08:57 AM)icecream Wrote:
(11-29-2010, 11:34 AM)CanadianCatholic Wrote: man...I really hope I never become a pain in the ass MIL.

me too!

I am a MIL now, and I make a conscious effort to keep my mouth shut. Not always easy, but always appreciated. My SIL told my daughter he wouldn't mind living close to my husband and me, but he would NEVER want to live around his own family. It is hard for me to believe his parents can be so stupid. :)
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