My husband, Jesus and original sin
#81
(01-13-2011, 04:43 PM)Rock Wrote: This is her struggle and does not know how to answer... So I answered B.


That's not clear from the post either....that she does not know the answers.... I read what she said as she has answered but they don't listen...they mock instead....and she does not no how to "get through" to them....that's how I read it.


Anyway


To the OP if you want answers to each point be sure to ask...you'll get no shortage of responses....but if it is as I think...just rest assured that there is NOTHING...NO WAY of putting the truth...that will be heard....it just won't happen (rarely does it ever....so rarely you can discount it as a possibility)
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#82
(01-13-2011, 04:47 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote: My suggestion that her dad go and beat up the guy is a ludicrous example that there are other solutions.  Some are better than others, and,


I got the real answer...if he likes sleeping with her...she just hold off giving him any until he gets the "Mentor the Tormentor" outta the house.  Of course if he does not care about the trad tango with her...she's SOL on that one.


Can we get a uniform for this new super villain...M-T?
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#83
(01-13-2011, 04:43 PM)Rock Wrote: this from some writings by Pope Gregory the Great that my husband claims he rails against the idea of a "universal bishop"

In this sense, Pope Gregory meant to condemn a person who asserts that he is the only bishop, and all others are not really bishops. In many other writings, Pope Gregory defends the primacy of the Pope. For example, his third book of Epistles, letter 30, says: "Inasmuch as it is manifest that the Apostolic See is, by the ordering of God, set over all Churches [...]"
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#84
(01-13-2011, 05:02 PM)Scipio_a Wrote:
(01-13-2011, 04:47 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote: My suggestion that her dad go and beat up the guy is a ludicrous example that there are other solutions.  Some are better than others, and,


I got the real answer...if he likes sleeping with her...she just hold off giving him any until he gets the "Mentor the Tormentor" outta the house.  Of course if he does not care about the trad tango with her...she's SOL on that one.

My guess, based on what is known,  is he would call her disobedient and berate her for that, then use this to justify having an affair or something.  Of course, that's an unfair accusation on my part, but my guess is that that's what would happen.

The whole religion thing seems to be an excuse for crappy and abusive behavior on his part.  He'll continue acting like that until the excuse is gone and he's forced to face the facts that his crap is unjustified and he's just being a shit.  He needs a conscience call and to be rid of "M-T"

Maybe if he got some better friends, they could counteract the influence of Svengali there, but Svengali won't like him having other friends.  In a sense, DH is a victim of "abuse" as well, but of an entirely different kind.  The same symptoms though: told what to believe, separated from others, etc.  Classic cult-like behavior.  He needs deprogramming before he ends up drinking Kool-Aid in some third world country.
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#85
(01-13-2011, 05:08 PM)Gladium Wrote:
(01-13-2011, 04:43 PM)Rock Wrote: this from some writings by Pope Gregory the Great that my husband claims he rails against the idea of a "universal bishop"

In this sense, Pope Gregory meant to condemn a person who asserts that he is the only bishop, and all others are not really bishops. In many other writings, Pope Gregory defends the primacy of the Pope. For example, his third book of Epistles, letter 30, says: "Inasmuch as it is manifest that the Apostolic See is, by the ordering of God, set over all Churches [...]"

Interesting. What exactly caused him to say this? and could you possibly give me some reference for my reading curiosity.
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#86
(01-13-2011, 04:47 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote: The problem, as I see it, is that your position is unless we say "she should get divorced and now", we're condoning abuse.   Really, that's just an ad hominem attack on people who don't share your opinion.

I never said that and I have no idea what elicited your reaction to my posts. It really seems out of proportion.
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#87
(01-13-2011, 05:49 PM)Iolanthe Wrote:
(01-13-2011, 04:47 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote: The problem, as I see it, is that your position is unless we say "she should get divorced and now", we're condoning abuse.   Really, that's just an ad hominem attack on people who don't share your opinion.

I never said that and I have no idea what elicited your reaction to my posts. It really seems out of proportion.

No, you didn't say that, that's how I'm characterizing your position (thus the phrase "your position is")  based on these statements, as well as others:

Iolanthe Wrote:Most of the advice here is aimed more at enabling an abuser than it is about anything else.

The problem is what is NOT being said, and what is being brushed aside.

Maybe my advice is wrong but the rest of the advice here is totally useless, if not downright harmful.

I'll tell you again what elicited my reaction:

Quis Wrote:I'm defending myself and others who don't think divorce is the way to go against your charge of condoning abuse.

ETA: Here is the original charge, for clarity.

Iolanthe Wrote:I'm flabbergasted that people on a Catholic forum condone abuse.

The irony is that I think your responses above are out of proportion, and, in fact, unjustified.

If you want, defend them.  I'll pick an easy one.  I say no one was "aiming at enabling an abuser" either consciously or unconsciously.

What makes you think people were aiming at enabling an abuser and/or why do you think this is a fair assessment?
What opinion or solution could someone give other than "she should get divorced" would not be "aiming at enabling an abuser"?

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#88
(01-13-2011, 06:04 PM)QuisUtDeus Wrote: If you want, defend them.  I'll pick an easy one.  I say no one was "aiming at enabling an abuser" either consciously or unconsciously.

I already showed you these. Only one of them was made after I brought up the topic of divorce. These were their initial reactions. No one said, "you're husband is an abuser" until I came along, and I got told to shush.

(01-12-2011, 09:04 PM)Iolanthe Wrote: Here are some examples of what I'm talking about.

(01-08-2011, 10:11 AM)Stubborn Wrote: God expects spouses to put up with each other till death - that is what they vowed is it not? 

(01-06-2011, 10:06 PM)JayneK Wrote: Make a point to be as obedient, sweet and cheerful as possible in all matters in which you can obey him, but he does not have an absolute right over you. 

(01-04-2011, 08:37 PM)SouthpawLink Wrote: The best possible advice I can give you is this: "We ought to obey God, rather than men" (Acts 5:29).  You are responsible for your own soul, and in the order of charity, you must love God above all else, then yourself, and then your neighbor (which includes your husband and children).  

(01-07-2011, 07:32 PM)JayneK Wrote: The conditions under which it is moral to get a divorce are quite rare and there is no indication in what you have said so far that it applies to your situation.

The problem is that all of this advice will allow the husband to keep acting the way he's acting. That is why it's enabling. Obviously, no one came along and said, "he's doing the right thing and should continue."

And again, I might be wrong that separation and/or divorce is the right answer. But to me, you get one chance in life not to be an abuser. He's already used his. Personally I wouldn't be able to continue spending my life with a person who had ever treated me in a such a way, but the OP may feel different.
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#89
Branch Davidian Blues Wrote:The problem is that all of this advice will allow the husband to keep acting the way he's acting.

Putting a bullet in his head will keep him from "acting the way he's acting".  Do you support that?  Obviously not.  Divorce is not an option.  Consultation with a Trad priest is advised.
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#90
Mark Zuckerberg Wrote:
Branch Davidian Blues Wrote:The problem is that all of this advice will allow the husband to keep acting the way he's acting.

Putting a bullet in his head will keep him from "acting the way he's acting".  Do you support that?  Obviously not.  Divorce is not an option.  Consultation with a Trad priest is advised.

::)
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